I’ve never played Half Life 2, and such is the depth of my shame. Actually, I don’t even know what Half Life is – I assume it’s a game about radioactive mutants. BUT, it’s also a game that can be modded, meaning other themes can be layered atop the game engine to make for something quite different – in this cast Pirates vs. Knights vs. Vikings. It’s just become an official Steam Mod, so now at last you can logon to a game as a pirate and kick some knight butt, or kick some butt of vikings (who are, afterall, an unholy crossbreed between the two.) [read more »]

I don’t know, but this movie just screams of exploitation to me. When will people learn that you can’t go around using pirates for amusement? I’m just sayin’.

And while we’re on the subject, just how many times does Willy need to get himself rescued before he learns his lesson, anyways?

Sweet, new Mizzen. Wait, not sweet – it was sad. We felt violated. Like, in a bad way. But we also had good times. Do you remember the good times? Me neither – I’m still dwelling on Pirate Magic. [read more »]

Harle! We played pirate music, and it was good. After Dark had a sponsor, and it was not good. The universe once again establishes equilibrium. [read more »]

Singing babies turned pirate, buccaneer bunnies, and a peppy beat. And it’s all in French, so you have no hope of understanding what the hell’s going on. Unless you speak French, I suppose.

Yar de yar har har. We rocked, we rolled, we stumbled about the decks and tried to stay out of the drink. [read more »]

Hell’s Angels may hold key to pirate hero Störtebeker’s missing skull – Times Online.

It’s not too often that pirates – true, historical (German?) pirates – appear in the same news item as the Hell’s Angels. But that’s life for you. Weird, unpredictable, and occasionally full of skull pilfering Germans on mopeds.

Ian McShane set for ‘Pirates’ sequel.

That’s right, Ian McShane. Ian flogging McShane, a.k.a. Al Swearengen, is supposedly in talks to portray Blackbeard in PotC4. Generally, I find most PotC rumors to be rather ‘meh’, but THIS one I can heartily endorse. This is also the first indication of On Stranger Tides having something to do with the book aside from the Fountain of Youth. Although, considering the book, I still don’t know what the hell Jack Sparrow will do with himself for two hours aside from stumbling around drunk and looking lost. Kind of like I did Friday night at PyrateCon 2009.

Fun Fact: The real Al Swearengen wasn’t actually British, but was born in Iowa. Which places him in such auspicious company as Captain Kirk and the Bilgemunky. Blackbeard, however, was most certainly NOT from Iowa, and it’s reported to be the only regret he ever admitted to in public.

Our friends at Rustmonster are multi-talented, it seems. And they also appreciate vikings – who, despite popular theory are NOT pirates of the northern seas. Rather, vikings are the result of crossbreeding pirates with knights, and therefore boast the strengths (armor, booze) and weaknesses (heavy armor, excessive booze) of both.

Part One:

Part Two: [read more »]

I recently received the following question:

I’ve been wondering two things in regards to the brilliant bunch o’ blaggards what call themselves Rust Monster. First: when can we expect to hear the much-anticipated project wherein they collaborated with none other than the great Munky o’ Bilge himself? And second: is there anywhere a pirate might get his hands on an MP3 of their song “Overture?” I’ve been dying to add it to me collection.

-Captain Jack McCool

I forwarded it to the fine folks at Rustmonster, and they’ve responded in spades – not only with a free link to download Overture, but also a video of breakdancing pirates! Oh, and also news regarding my own song, Battlecry of the Preemptive Revengence! Check it all out at:

Rustmonster pirate music » A Request from a Fan.