Monthly Archive: March 2004

Review: Rhum Barbancourt 8

Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Rhum Barbancourt 8 year
www.barbancourt.net

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from Internet Wines and Spirits

In light of the recent happenings in Haiti, I figured I should try a Haitian rum. No, it doesn’t do anything to ease their troubles, but it makes me feel good. It’s as if I was doing something special and helpful, even though I’m not. Fortunately, Rhum Babancourt had more of an impact on me than my purchase of said rum had on the economy of Haiti. Unfortunately, it wasn’t THAT much more of an impact. (more…)

Review: Cutthroat Island

Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Ummm. Yeah. Where to begin? Well – er – what went wrong here? They actually built pirate ships to make this movie (which is bragable), and Geena Davis isn’t entirely un-cute. But, well… and Mathew Modine manages to crack out a funny line or two. Yeah.

For crying out loud! Even the monkey is bad! He’s ugly and he can’t even look cute when saluting! The plot was tired, the action was dull, and only Mathew Modine and Frank Langella put up even passable performances! Disagree? Watch it again and then try to defend the line “Bad Dawg” to me – AWFUL!!!

The only reason I’ll watch this movie again (and I will, God help me) is in that sick hope that somehow it will be better next time around. It won’t be though – and I’ll curse Geena Davis for it.

Review: Captain Ron

Rating: ★★½☆☆
I should hate this movie. It’s full of bad jokes, predictable plotlines, and Martin Short. But then, it also has just enough surprise gags to partially redeem itself. Not enough to make it actually GOOD mind you, but enough to make it a so-so flick that’s worth watching with your buddies, especially if there’s rum on hand. Just be prepared to groan through some of the jokes, and try to think of your own happy place when Martin Short and his movie wife both scream in unison “HoneyAreYOUAllRight???”.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Review: Pirates of the Caribbean – The Curse of the Black Pearl

Rating: ★★★★★
So I’ve been asked when I would get around to reviewing Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean. To be honest, I haven’t bothered because I really don’t think I can contribute much to what’s already been said. Most reviews have been glowing, and I agree with them. Those that have found nits to pick, I think, are just trying to be contrary. If you haven’t seen it then do so. Now.

OK, fine. While I’m here I suppose I should say a little about this movie that I haven’t seen elsewhere. Much that’s been said elsewhere is worth repeating – Jack Sparrow is fantastic. Elizabeth Swann is a wonderful actress and sooo very hot. Will Turner, well, I’m not all swoony about Orlando Bloom, but the character he’s meant to portray is a hotheaded blacksmith, and he portrays him quite well. But the one under-rated character in all this is Commodore Norrington. By all rights, this character should have been the butt of the movie. He’s a pompous authority figure who dresses like a dandy and manages to lose his captive (twice,) lose his ship, and lose the girl – yet through it all he remains honorable and comes across as the noblest man of the whole lot. I think this is an incredible achievement by both the writers and the actor. And it’s details like this that make this a remarkably splendid film.