Monthly Archives: March 2006

Review: Pirate Buckle Shoes

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Rating: ★★★½☆
Flying Canoe Traders
www.flyingcanoetraders.com/

No matter how great your pirate attire, the entire image can be instantly spoilt by a pair of chuck taylor sneakers. That’s only one reason why choosing the right footwear is so important. Comfort and durability rank right up towards the top as well.

When thinking pirate, many folks instantly picture a glorious pair of bucket boots. But the benefits of a simple buckle-shoe should not be forgotten; they can be more affordable and comfortable, and their understated Continue reading →

Review: Buccaneer Hat

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Rating: ★★★½☆
Captain Jack’s Pirate Hats
www.captjackspiratehats.com

Until recently, quality pirate hats seemed to come in only two styles – the stylish working class pirate, and that of the pirate king. Capain Jack’s, who has handily redifined the market for the working class hat, has now gone one step better and created a third style – the pirate tradesman, perhaps?

Jack refers to it as his “18th Century Cocked Hat” series – quality cashmere hats with fine metal buttons, softer and in a wider range of colors than his original series. And where his original series of hats is perfect for the rough’n’tumble variety of pirate, these new 18th century hats would seem the ideal choice for the slightly more educated scalliwagg – the navigators and surgeons, for instance.

The 18th Century series is a mix of old and new, featuring some styles from his original series, and a couple unique to this new line. Continue reading →

Review: Got Booty?

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Rating: ★★½☆☆
The Budd Bay Buccaneers
http://buddbaybuccaneers.com/

Genre: Traditional and traditional inspired sea shanteys.
Rating: PG
Target Audience: All ages

Keepin’ it real on the high seas yar.

Sea shanties and pirate music come in many forms – some belong in the concert hall, some at a rock show, and others – true to their roots – belong in a crowded pub full of drunken sailors swinging their mugs in rough rhythm. Continue reading →

Review: Pusser’s Blue Label

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Rating: ★★★★☆
Pusser’s Blue Label Rum
www.pussers.com

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

After a long day of harassing portuguese lepers, you’re likely to want a healthy reminder that you’re still alive – and nothing does so quite like Pussers. Tasting of pepper and spice, each sip is rich and brutal. It burns the tongue in the very best way possible, and each swallow feels like ingesting raw warmth.

Perhaps no other rum in existence is more closely connected with its British Navy roots. Not only does Pusser’s boast sole ownership of the actual formula used by the limey fleet (before the shortsighted navy opted to forgo grog rations in favor of sobriety, that is,) but they also donate a portion of all proceeds to programs that benefit Brit swabs to this very day. This is all admirable, but not nearly so noteworthy as the simple fact that this is an affordable rum that kicks you in the jaw with the same gusto as other rums four times the price.

Review: New Orleans Cane

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Rating: ★★★½☆
Cane Rum
www.neworleansrum.com

Who the hell drinks white rum straight? Yeah, I asked that same question while standing in the lobby of Cane Rum as our guide poured me a glass of their premium white rum. I was a bit scared to take my first sip, as I can’t imagine anything fouler than swigging the likes of Bacardi Silver neat. Much to my surprise, Cane proved highly sippable. It smells much like any other white rum – light and alchoholly. But the taste is something quite different – not at all like I’d expect from a white rum.

I could best equate it to an extra crisp white wine, with a sharp kick playing backup. It even has a bit of fruitiness hidden in there, making for a rum experience that is truly unique. When I first tried it I was in the company of my wife and sister-in-law – neither a rum drinker. But they both found Cane very agreeable (my sister-in-law even snagged a bottle for herself.) It’s not widely distributed, but if you have the opportunity to snag a bottle or two, I highly recommend doing so.

Review: New Orleans Cane Amber

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Rating: ★★★☆☆
Cane Amber
www.neworleansrum.com

Earlier this summer I had the great pleasure of visiting a rum distillary in New Orleans – and it was during this visit that I first experienced their premium rum (indeed, the first time I’ve experienced any of their rums) while overlooking a warehouse full of hundreds of rum barrels. Truly, this alone makes the experience worthwhile, and if you’re ever in a position to see the rum process firsthand I highly recommend it.

Cane Amber is unlike any rum I’ve ever tasted – indeed, it’s rather unlike rum entirely. Were I to try it in a blind taste-test, I’m certain I’d have it pegged for scotch. Fortunately, I rather like a scotch now and then. Unfortunately, I’m not nearly well-versed enough in the world of scotches to review it on these grounds. Continue reading →

Review: Mount Gay Extra Old

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Rating: ★★★★½
Mount Gay Extra Old Rum
www.mountgay.com

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

An opulent panorama of exquisite aromas and ambidextrous luminosity. Or something like that. I’ve not mastered the english language enough to write one of those fancy sounding reviews. But if I had, this rum would deserve a lion’s share of 50 cent words and phrases. Continue reading →

Review: Tankard and “Warning Shot”

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Rating: ★★★★☆
Quicksilver’s Pirate Pots
www.piratepots.com

It may come as a surprise, but I throw a fairly sizeable Talk Like a Pirate Day party each year. This past September I’d planned out my outfit very carefully, having much of it custom made. Large hat, wool frock coat, bucket boots… I hope it’s not overly bragging to say that I looked quite dashing, and I have pictures to prove it. But that’s where the problem strikes; in each of these pictures – me looking all piratey with my new duds and swashbuckling grin – in each of these pictures I’m holding my piratey beverage in a plastic cup. PLASTIC! Hell, I won’t wear socks unless they’re piratey, and yet here I have a photo album full of me in pirate garb drinking from a plastic cup. I feel such shame. Continue reading →

Review: Swashbuckler and Shipwrecked Scented Soaps

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Rating: ★★★★★
Arcana Soaps
www.arcanasoaps.com

This item is available through multiple retailers. Bilgemunky.com recommends www.dresslikeapirate.com and www.stumpyandscurvy.com.

It’s good to smell like a pirate.

Think you’re dedicated to your love of piracy? Do you have four pirate hats, three frock coats, and more cutlasses than you can swing a parrot at? Think you’re dedicated? Let me as you this: Do you wash daily with pirate soap?

Dress Like a Pirate now offers a line of handmade pirate soaps. I sampled two of them – the Swashbuckler and Shipwrecked. Continue reading →

Review: Gus Openshaw’s Whale Killing Journal

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Rating: ★★★½☆
Gus Openshaw’s Whale Killing Journal
by Keith Thomson

If you read only one happy-go-lucky account of whale slaughter this year…

Gus Openshaw is just your average joe, seeking to make a life with his wife and new son. When his plans are thwarted by an angry whale (who swallows his family whole, along with Gus’s right arm), Gus must find a way to make that all-too-common transition from humble catfood cannery worker into whale hunting avenger. This is easier said than done, especially considering that in these kinder, gentler days whale killing is generally frowned upon. One is certain to become entangled in all sorts of legal fiascos. But that’s only the beginning – mutinous crews, renegade princesses, foreign navies, discount arms dealers, and (of course) pirates all serve to make Gus’ adventures a sight more interesting than he’d like. Continue reading →