Attack of the Show ‘attacks’ Rum

While I’m certain that most Bilgemunky.com readers are experienced enough rum drinkers to not need an intro course, this is nonetheless entertaining 🙂

Not the worst three intro rums, but hardly the best. Especially when it’s a cute blonde who’s clearly psyched for pirates. Where’s the Goslings Old, where’s the Sea Wynde??? C’mon, mate – give Alison some rum that will set her mouth on fire so she can “arrrrr” properly!

The Awesomeness of Talderoy

It’s comforting to know that while I’m slaving away at my website and DJing, my fans are spending their time contemplating how much they love Talderoy. That’s ok, I know the score – Talderoy was born into awesome the way some folks are born into wealth, and that’s just how it is. Thanks to The Reformed C4rdNinj4 and Jack McCool for compiling the following list – and it was quite kind of them to include the final two entries by which to stoke my delicate ego. Transparent pandering, to be sure, but I take what I can get!

  • Some say if Chuck Norris and Talderoy fought, the universe would implode.
  • Others say it would be the Second Coming of Jesus.
  • Behind Talderoy’s beard is Chuck Norris. Continue reading

Drunken Fan Video – Hopefully the First of Many

Is it an episode of Drunken History? Is it a Kraken Rum commercial? Or is it another politically motivated Pro-Bilgemunky puff piece? And it even has The Ben Gunn Society playing in the background, which makes this video more kinds of win than even your granddaddy could handle!

WAIT!!! Did he cut his lady off in mid-sentence in such a way that implied that Bilgemunky trumps boobs??? Holy cow, I bet even TALDEROY can’t brag on that one!

Pirate Documentary to be filmed on Lady Washington

So documentaries are fun and all, but if Blink Films wants the real story of Caribbean pirates they should have just asked me. In a nutshell, the actual pirates were AWESOME. They drank rum and sang songs all day, and never hurt anyone (except for Spaniards.) Also, most pirates had a keen sense of hearing and were allergic to Velcro, but I doubt this documentary will focus on these important facts. Instead it’s far more likely to spread more unsubstantiated myths about pirates being criminals with short life expectancies and bad teeth. And the saddest part of all? Half of you will believe it 🙁

Caribbean Pirate Documentary to be Filmed on Lady Washington

Bacardi wins yet another award. Which further demonstrates that awards aren’t worth squat.

I just don’t get the popularity of Bacardi. Sure, it’s a huuuuuge business success and is used as a mixer all over the world. I don’t have a problem with this. But just because McDonalds has sold a billion burgers doesn’t make them a steakhouse. And neither is Bacardi a top shelf rum. I’ve tried all sorts of their rums – the aged and the unaged, but none of it seemed fit to consume by its lonesome. And yet, here they are, winning yet another honor:

BACARDI Rum Wins Top Honor from World Renowned Spirits Institute Monde Selection® | Business Wire

Really, the problem here isn’t Bacardi, but the image of rum itself. Where the world of whiskey has Bourbon, Scotch, Irish, Tennessee… to say nothing of single malts, blended, pot stilled, and all sorts of other means by which the general public comfortably distinguishes “families” of the spirit – Rum is still just rum in most eyes, and this enables Bacardi to dominate the industry from top to bottom, regardless of genuine sippability. That’s my theory-of-the-moment, anyways.

Another PotC Casting Rumor

So Variety.com just announced that Stephen Graham will be playing a sidekick sort of character in Pirates of the Caribbean 4. And the Internet Movie Database seems to confirm it. I don’t know if IMDB is a reliable source regarding rumors, but I was pleased to see that Megan Fox was NOT listed, so I stand by my belief that her “upcoming mermaid role” is nothing more than hot air (although surprisingly persistent hot air, I’ll admit.)

Graham sails with ‘Pirates 4’ crew – Variety