Pirates vs Ninjas vs Zombies vs… Pandas. Yeah, Pandas.

Pirates, Ninjas, and Zombies are three of the archetypes of modern society, with the other two being Robots and Chuck Norris. So why on earth we now have a game of Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies (so far so good) vs. Pandas is beyond me. But there it is, and here’s a demo of the gameplay:

I don’t have a smart phone, so I guess I’m out of luck. I buy my phones for their milspec rating – mine is clear for vibration, dust, and impact. No dice on the moisture, though, which rather sucks for a pirate. But I couldn’t afford the phone you submerge. Plus, it was about the size of a submarine and looked ridiculous in my pocket on my belt. Click “read more” to see an additional video illustrating how this four-way war got started. Apparently, it was all the pirates’ fault. Figures. (more…)

After Action Report: St. Augustine Pirate Gathering 2010

The U.S. is full of great pirate festivals, large and small. But there are a very few locations that can nearly claim to have been doing piracy since the Golden Age itself – Key West and Gasparilla come time mind, and St. Augustine does as well. Being the oldest city in the country, and certainly well located to have seen its fair share of piracy, I’d always been under the impression that the St. Augustine Pirate Gathering was one of the “old guard” – but in this I was quite mistaken. The Gathering is in fact only in its fourth year, although thanks to a fine, piratey location, plenty of local flair, and the strong support of nearby crews and piratey businesses, it’s nonetheless a festival in full stride. (more…)

After Action Report: Southern Pirate Festival 2010

The Brigands, surprisingly, CAN do a family friendly show (when properly bribed).

The beautiful thing about hosting a pirate festival at a museum is that it’s already largely predecorated. Actually, that only works if it’s the right sort of museum – Burlingame Museum of Pez Memorabilia, for example, might be a poor fit. But the National Civil War Naval Museum provided a splendid backdrop for 2010 Southern Pirate Festival, which their website accurately described as “One Day of Family Fun & History” followed by “One Night of Debauchery.” Truly, something for everyone! (more…)

After Action Report: BrethrenCon 2010

Let’s be honest – when you think of prime locations for a pirate convention, Denver Colorado doesn’t exactly spring to mind. You can’t get much more removed from any sort of maritime community, and the high altitude might leave you a little giddy before you even crack open the rum. But then, you don’t exactly need water to engage in many of the very best pirate activities – carousing is best done on dry land, and dancing to some pirate tunes is just as easily achieved in a hotel ballroom as on the deck of a ship. And that was the beauty of BrethrenCon 2010 – a single hotel for a day was made ground zero for pirate enthusiasts from miles around (Colorado does indeed have a surprisingly large and diverse pirate population.) (more…)

4,000 Pirates – Yikes!

So first, Brixam England had the world record for “Most Pirates Gathered” with 1,469 pirates – actually, someone else surely had it before them, but this is when the chatter started. Portland Oregon then swooped in and took the prize with 1,651 pirates. England then reclaimed the title with 1,722 pirates gathered in Devon, followed by USA once again with something in the neighborhood of 2,600 pirates at the NorCal Pirate Festival. Well, the official tally of NorCal isn’t even in yet, and already England has trumped everyone with a reported excess of 4,000 pirates gathered in Liverpool:

Liverpool Daily Post – News – Liverpool News – Mersey Pirate Muster brings 4000 pirates to Liverpool waterfront

I only have two questions, though. 1) What was San Fransisco based pirate-band There Be Pirates doing helping England trounce their own hometown’s recent record? One could almost accuse them of acting like, well, like pirates. OK, so no real news there. But 2) and FAR more important, with so many thousands of pirates in the US and UK alike, why aren’t more of them tuning into Bilgemunky Radio each week? Seriously, forget eyepatches and peglegs – if they’re not Bilgemunky fans, then they’re just posers.

After Action Report: Fell’s Point Privateer Day 2010

So the second weekend of March, 2010 saw me at the Fell’s Point Privateer Day in Baltimore, MD. This was my first year attending this event, although I’d certainly heard good things. I was, however, a little concerned that a Privateer “Day” might not quite be robust enough to justify a long distance journey. Thanks in large part to Pirates Magazine and the Devil’s Dozen Induction, I needn’t have worried. (more…)

I just puked in my mouth a little.

On the surface an article about Disney’s PotC ride being given a holiday makeover. OK fine. But keep reading and you’ll learn of plans for characters from OTHER films being intermingled amongst the pirates, Miley Cyrus replacing “the Redhead”, and the ability to “shop” while you ride the ride by pointing a telescope at merchandise tucked amongst the scenery and clicking a “charge me now” button.

And you thought George Lucas had a knack for violating your inner child. It seems he’s a saint next to the mouse. There’s a chance this is all a joke, but Disney has hardly earned my benefit of the doubt in such matters.

You better not pout –

Curses to Scarlett Harlott, who made me aware of this article and thus depriving me of sleep for the next week or two.