Proving that piracy is indeed the Worcestershire Sauce of the world (it makes everything better), Hedonism II has announced their upcoming Pirate Fantasy Fest. And seriously, the link is NSFW, so don’t click it if that might get you in trouble or offend your sensibilities.

For those that don’t know, Hedonism II is supposed to be a sexually-charged Jamaican resort. I’ve never been, but my understanding it always makes for a memorable, exciting vacation. And that it will be pirate-themed the week of October 23-30 can only add to the equation – Booze Cruises, harlot contests, pirate garb fashion show, pirate-erotic stage show… the only thing they seem to be missing is the world’s greatest pirate DJ. Hmmm…

So yeah, the long and short of it – sexy pirate vacation, and apparently some real efforts to make it awesomely pirate themed!

It’s September! Which means it’s time to start practicing your “ayes” and “arrrs” – but you already know that, don’t you? That’s the challenge of running Bilgemunky.com, because my readership is far more intune with the comings and goings of Talk Like a Pirate Day than most folk, so I can’t simply write a lame “Did You Know Talk Like a Pirate Day is Actually a Holiday?” article like most every other online periodical out there. So, I guess I’ll need to try a little harder to mark the beginning of Talk Like a Pirate Day Month:

September 10th – National Read Naked Like a Pirate Girl Day

That’s right, September 19th isn’t the ONLY pirate holiday month, at least not if you live in Chicago where you can watch girls read like naked pirates. Actually, I’m not sure what that means exactly, but bully to them for getting creative. And naked. Arrr…

Talk Like a Pirate Day, as we all know, is the glorious brainchild of Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket. Talk Like a Pirate Day Month however, is Bilgemunky’s own humble extension. And note that it’s not Talk Like a Pirate Month I’m suggesting, which would indicate a whole month of talking like a pirate, but rather Talk Like a Pirate Day Month, meaning one day of celebrating pirates by talking like a pirate, and a full month celebrating the existence of Talk Like a Pirate Day, probably also by talking like pirates. Or drinking rum. Or finding Slappy and/or Chumbucket and buying them drinks. Or groceries.

Assuming the Mayans don’t kill us first, there will be a Captain Harlock movie in 2012. CGI, and from the poster, AMAZING to look at. So cool, in fact, that I hesitate to post the picture here lest Wired sue me for stealing it from their site. Guess you better just click the link:

First Look: Space Pirate Captain Harlock Poster | Underwire | Wired.com

During last night’s broadcast I announced an upcoming format change to Bilgemunky Radio. Starting Monday, September 13th, Bilgemunky Radio will begin one hour later (9 pm CST.) The show will remain two hours of pirate music awesomeness, but there will be no more Bilgemunky After Dark.

The reasons for this are many, but the short of it is that I need to consolidate the show to two hours for homestead reasons. And AD, for me, is the *extra* – it doesn’t have nearly as much music, it draws only a fraction of the listeners of the regular show, and for me it’s not as creatively inspiring as the rest of Bilgemunky Radio. So it makes sense for it to be cut. Unfortunate perhaps, but at the end of the day multiple factors all point to the same thing – remove AD and instead focus on what matters most – Bilgemunky Radio proper.

I hope this news doesn’t strike too many listeners as tragic – rest assured Bilgemunky Radio will continue to muscle on, and very little music will actually be lost – probably not even 100 songs (with Bilgemunky Radio boasting nearly 2,000). The regular show is, afterall, intended for pirates – and lacks not for debauchery, rum abuse, and all sorts of other misbehavior

Bilgemunky After Dark’s final episode will broadcast on Monday, September 6th.

Pirate-Core legends Alestorm are now being discussed in college newspapers, which means they’re officially culture-ish. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten around to reviewing their second full length album Black Sails at Midnight. If not, go buy the damned thing already.

Oh, and enjoy this Alestorm article from the West Georgian:

The West Georgian – Alestorm: Bring in the pirates!

I don’t know if this place is new or not, but I’ve just recently learned of The Rum Bar in Philadelphia. Not quite the selection of some of the powerplayers found in California and Vegas, but a decent showing just the same. Plus, the website is slick enough, and the “not-quite-PotC” amuses me for some reason. Any Philly area readers have any insight to share?

www.rum-bar.com

At least, so says Event Magazine. Apparently there’s some huge rum celebration in limey-land this October:

World’s biggest celebration of rum moves to Olympia

Pretty sweet looking, actually – The Goonies 25th year anniversary edition will not only include the Blu-Ray disc, but also a boardgame, and a whole bunch of other crap. I wish I could be more specific, but the Amazon.com description offers nothing except a summary of the movie and a picture of the extras. Looks like some magazines of some kind, some collector cards maybe, and a femur from One-Eyed Willy (ok, I made that one up.

Still, should be slick. There’s nothing like combining your love of piracy with the nostalgia of being a child of the 80′s, and no one does that better than The Goonies.

Amazon.com: The Goonies (25th Anniversary Edition) [Blu-ray]

It’s rare that I get to DJ a pirate event so close to home, which means all you midwestern pirates don’t want to miss your chance to groove and stumble to the greatest variety of pirate tunes known to man or barnacle. That’s right Bilgemunky (that’s me) will be DJing at the ‘Seize the Bay’ Pirate Festival in Green Bay on August 14th! Consider it a large party or a small festival – either way there will be pirate music, a Caribbean buffet, pirate drinks at the bar, pirate vendors, plus live entertainment from Bounding Main, Starz Dance Academy, and Rakhshanda Tribal Belly Dance. And if that’s not enough for you, The Green Bay Tall Ships Festival will be taking place alongside, so go outside to tour the ships, and come inside to party like a pirate! Prizes for best costume, and it’s only $2 to get in

Festivities begin at noon, and go until 10 pm. I’ll be DJing one hour sets throughout the day, with the last one ending at 6.

George Garcia, more commonly known as Hurley from Lost (you know, the show that went on forever making more and more mysteries it never intended to solve) has been commissioned to star in “When We Were Pirates”, an upcoming Disney film about a bunch of guys who want to be pirates. Details are sketchy, but can be found here:

LOST’s Jorge Garcia In “When We Were Pirates” | Disney Dreaming

It’s still too early in the process to know much, but my sources tell me the film will end with Garcia drinking some magic water and becoming the guardian of a pirate island in a poorly executed commentary on the nature of good, evil, and free will. Plus, there might be a polar bear for no good reason.