Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Review: Henry & the Crazed Chicken Pirates

Posted at 6:21 pm in Books

Rating: ★★★½☆
henrycrazedchickenDo I really need to review this? I mean, c’mon – it’s a children’s book, and it’s titled “Henry and the Crazed Chicken Pirates”. Seriously, that’s all the info you need to determine whether this book is for you. Oh, and perhaps I should point out that the Crazed Chicken Pirates also seem to be Airship Pirates – so bonus for all you steam-heads out there.

The story begins by explaining the daily life of the Buccaneer Bunnies – proper scalliwaggs that spend their time the way I’d spend *my* time given the opportunity – not raiding and pillaging, but rather lounging about on a tropical island and shooting each other out of cannons. The fun comes to an end, however, when Henry – the youngest of these pirate rodents – discovers a note in a bottle that threatens impending danger. Most of the pirate scoff, but Henry takes the warning seriously and begins preparations. I won’t tell you how it ends, but here’s a hint: It involves Crazed Chicken Pirates (in an airship). [read more »]

3 comments


Written by Bilge on September 24th, 2009

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Review: My Inner Pirate CD

Posted at 8:40 am in Music

Rating: ★★★☆☆
willoughby_innerpirateGenre: Contemporary Pirate Folk.
Rating: PG
Target Audience: Pirate fans who want something a bit less gravelly, and a bit more fun

Some folks have an inner child, some have an inner pirate. And despite her album’s title of “My Inner Pirate,” I strongly suspect Willoughby Caught actually has both – the only question is which one drinks the rum and which one gets to hold the musket.

My Inner Pirate features a variety of traditional, original, and quasi-original pirate tunes, mostly sung in a fun, light-hearted manner. Some, such as Calico Jack and Salmagundi, come across as pirate-acceptable kid’s song, while Drink Like a Pirate takes on a more adult theme in both content and tone. Most of the songs, however, manage to walk the fence between these two extremes in a manner that’s both kid-friendly as well as piratey. [read more »]

1 comment


Written by Bilge on September 1st, 2009

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Review: Baltazar and the Flying Pirates

Posted at 8:18 am in Books

Rating: ★★★☆☆
www.immedium.com/products/pirates.html

baltazarflyingpiratesLet’s see… a jolly band of misfit pirates take their flying ship to an amusement park in search of treasure – while there they’re bombarded with parents wanting to take pictures, kids thinking it’s ok to climb on the pirates, and security guards who just don’t understand that it’s all in good fun…

Sounds like a typical weekend to me. Well, except for the flying ship. Someday, maybe.

Baltazar and the Flying Pirates is more or less the tale I just described, brought to life in colorful, friendly artwork. The pirates are a misfit crew indeed, with some members you may recognize (Anne Bonney, Long John Silver) and still more that are new to this story (Flynn, Captain Redlocks, Big Queeq, etc.) Each is a character is unique and memorable as their names, to say nothing of the story’s “every boy” protagonist, with the truly unusual name of Baltazar. [read more »]

2 comments


Written by Bilge on August 27th, 2009

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Review: Flint and Silver

Posted at 8:23 am in Books

Rating: ★★★★★
flintandsilverThat one Treasure Island sequel should follow so quickly on the heels of another would seem strangely coincidental. Indeed, it seems almost yesterday that I was reviewing “Silver” by Edward Chupack, and yet here I am now reviewing “Flint and Silver” by John Drake. But in truth, the similarities between these two works are few and far between. Where Silver was a re-envisioning of the characters of Treasure Island, full of sinister murder, mind-bending cyphers, and dry villainy that intentionally lacked a devout “faithfulness” to its inspiration, Flint and Silver instead attempts to perfectly mesh with the expectations set by the original work and takes a more swashbuckling, lighthearted approach to material. It follows in the “boys adventure” spirit of Treasure Island, albeit from a slightly more grown-up perspective. [read more »]

4 comments


Written by Bilge on August 25th, 2009

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Review: Hot Pirate Babes 2010 Calendar

Posted at 8:29 am in Other

Rating: ★★★★☆
HPB_2010calwww.hotpiratebabes.com

I’m still putting 2008 on my checks, and here comes the 2010 Hot Pirate Babes Calendar. How the time flies.

I’ve reviewed the previous three incarnations of this calendar, so feel free to read those reviews if you *really* need an explanation of just what a “hot pirate babes” calendar contains. The rest of us, however, shall jump into the nuts and bolts of the matter and consider just what 2010 appears to have in store.

As with other years, the 2010 calendar features a range of pirate babes, some of whom hit the “hot” mark with more grace than others. Five months, in fact, offer babes of reasonably passable hotness. February brings us a gypsy gal for those who prefer their girls to exercise a little modesty (in the face, if not exactly elsewhere), [read more »]

7 comments


Written by Bilge on August 19th, 2009

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Review: Pirate Goodies from BudgetGadgets.com

Posted at 8:11 am in Other

Rating: ★★★★☆
budgetgadgets_iphonewatchwww.budgetgadgets.com

In the golden age of piracy, sailors would tell the time by the sun (or by divining the entrails of a spaniard.) These days we’re lucky – we have wristwatches and iPhones. But neither of these options seem very piratey, do they?

WRONG!!! See how I set that up? Now you can tell time or make phonecalls in the most piratey fashion possible thanks to BudgetGadgets.com, who now offer two solutions to let you sport technology without betraying the pirate code (I believe that somewhere in the code it does indeed forbid the public usage of all non-piratey technology.) We’ll begin with the iPhone case, which is made up of two pieces of plastic that readily snap together to cover your phone from top to bottom in skulls and crossbones. [read more »]

no comments


Written by Bilge on August 17th, 2009

Review: Launch of the Screaming Narwhal

Posted at 8:44 am in Games

Rating: ★★★½☆
www.talesofmonkeyisland.com

talesofmi_guybrush_screenshotWe had given up hope, mostly. True, it remained close to our hearts, but rarely at the forefront of our minds. Some fansites remained, although others had shut down for lack of material or purpose. And those in the know? They told us time and again to give up – there would be no more Monkey Islands.

Monkey Island represents a strange yet significant event in pirate history. Those of us who love pirates more than average; most of us would point to the Pirates of the Caribbean rides as the most influential element in our piratey formative years. This is a common experience we share across a wide age range – from the old to the young. But there exists a sliver of us – the piratey Gen Xers – that also largely fell in love with another piece of piratey pop-culture long before the floodgates were opened by the Disney films, and that was the 1991 videogame The Secret of Monkey Island. In many ways cutting edge at the time, today’s audience would likely view it as only a little better than Donkey Kong. [read more »]

1 comment


Written by Bilge on July 23rd, 2009

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Review: Pirate Tarot Cards

Posted at 2:50 pm in Other

Rating: ★★★★☆
www.schifferbooks.com (cardstock version)
www.dragonfiresigns.com (wooden version)

pirate-tarot-0In my years of reviewing pirate products, I’ve seen a lot of repetition in product – multiple manufacturers of pirate hats, multiple varieties of pirate games, all sorts of varied pirate music, etc. This isn’t remotely a bad thing, as variety and options are indeed the spice of piratey life. But it is a rare thing to come across something truly new, as is the case with The Pirate Tarot.

For those unfamiliar, tarot cards are intended as a way of divining the future. Cards are shuffled, a question is asked, and the cards are layed out in patterns to represent past, present, future, and any number of other factors. Tarot deck designs are most usually mystical in nature – elves, wizards, etc, but can be made in any number of themes, including – at last – pirates. [read more »]

3 comments


Written by Bilge on July 20th, 2009

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Review: RootJack

Posted at 8:47 am in Other

rootjackorangeRating: ★★★★☆
www.rootjack.com

It’s a well-accepted fact that root beer is the most piratey of all non-alcoholic beverages. If this is news to you, then you really need to play The Secret of Monkey Island to further your piratey education. If you’ve already played Monkey Island but still dispute root beer’s soft-drink dominance over all piratedom, then you’re not as smart as I’d hoped (and likely not as good looking, either.)

RootJack is a new pirate energy drink from Voodoo Elixirs. Essentially orange flavored root beer with extra caffeine and guarana, RootJack makes no claims at fighting ghosts (again, see Monkey Island) – it does, however, fight scurvy thanks to a full day’s supply of vitamin C. So long, puffy gums, so long bleeding sores – RootJack makes it all better, and tastes pretty good alongside. [read more »]

7 comments


Written by Bilge on July 1st, 2009

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Review: Vizcaya VXOP

Posted at 8:28 am in Rum

Rating: ★★½☆☆
Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits
www.vizcayarum.com

vizcaya_vxopOne of these days, I think I need to write an article on which I judge various rums based on nothing more than their packaging. It might sound laughable, but in truth packaging can tell you quite a lot about a rum (or at least, what the manufacturers think of their product – or rather, what they want you to *think* they think of their product.) And also, reviewing rums based on packaging alone would protect me from those embarrassing times when I nearly finish the rum before I’ve bothered to review it. Such is the case with Vizcaya VXOP – it’s been on my shelf for a terribly long time, and I’ve stolen a glass now and then to the point as to be nearly empty. And yet, I never reviewed the damned thing. [read more »]

4 comments


Written by Bilge on June 18th, 2009

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