Rum

Pirate Rum Reviews

Review: Caliche Rum

Rating: ★★★★☆
Caliche Official Site

calicheA sippable white rum – rare, but not unheard of. But even on the shelf, Caliche stands apart from its pale brethren with its mottled glass bottle, neck wrapped in hemp. It gives a rustic, tropical appearance usually reserved for aged rums, and makes this the only white rum I can think of that indeed looks piratey (a necessity for those of truly distinguished taste.)

While white rums generally equate to un-aged, Caliche is in fact a blend of aged rums using the Solera system. This results in a rather layered flavor profile. To the nose you’re met with fruit, while on tasting a creamy vanilla sensation dominates. The finish lingers and warms with alcohol burn that’s surprisingly gentle yet persistent.

Caliche is a class act, no doubt. It’s quite excellent straight up, and when sipped in moderation is damn near refreshing (not a quality I generally equate with rum.)

Review: Cane&Abe Rum

Rating: ★★★½☆
madisondistillery.com/Rum.html

Cane&Abe is a rum that just dares to be different. Its bottle, what with the loop on its neck, looks more appropriate to moonshine than rum. The native-american style eagle on the label, again, doesn’t exactly screech of high seas adventure. And being made in Madison, Wisconsin; arguably the LEAST piratey city in the entire US of A? Now my mind is blown.

But let’s not rush to judgement – it is, after all, the rum that matters. At a glance it’s a deep amber, although in the glass it’s significantly lighter. The nose is prominently butterscotch and sugarcane – one of which is a common element in rum, the other less so (I’ll leave it to you to figure which is which.)

On the tongue, Cane&Abe is again like hot butterscotch – liquid candy for adults. Light and sweet, this isn’t exactly fit for putting a kraken into a half-nelson while making out with a mermaid and kicking a spanish corpse. But while it’s not the stuff of pirate legend, it IS pretty decent in its own right, and might be worth checking out if you’d like a break from charred gunpowder and molasses.

Review: Fortuna 8 Year

Rating: ★★★★☆

rum reviews, ron fortunawww.ronfortuna.com

Wine bottles should stand tall and proud, but I’m happiest when my rum bottles sit short and squat. It just seems right that a rum stay true to its maritime heritage by maintaining a low center of gravity and wide footprint so to better brave the rolling seas. Or if ashore, to better survive the accidental bumpings that so often occur in the immediate viscinity of delicious high proof spirits.

Fortuna, Ron Reserva Exclusiva is an eight year aged rum in a classy, lovely squat bottle. The green glass disguises the hue of the rum within, but this is soon remedied by breaking the foil and removing the cork. Upon doing so, the nose is immediately met with a combined sweetness and muskiness – caramel intermingled with subtle vegetation. In the glass, this rum is a light amber much akin to honey in color.

And then, we drink… (more…)

Review: Blackbeard Spiced Rum

Rating: ★★★½☆
www.blackbeardrum.com
Speaking strictly from the perspectives of myth and legend, Blackbeard just might be history’s perfect pirate. He was big, mean, dramatic… he fought like a demon and died like a folk (anti)hero. And what’s more, the man mixed gunpowder in his rum. I mean, seriously – this is the sort of thing that Hollywood makes up and then historians nerdily remind us that, “you know, pirates didn’t actually do this, or do that…” But Blackbeard did. He was the real deal, and this is why now and forever, there should always be a rum or two bearing his name.

Blackbeard Spiced Rum has risen to the challenge of bearing Teach’s title, but does it live up? In the bottle, its classy and striking, with a black lable and stylized artwork of the man himself. The rum inside is a basic brownish amber, and upon opening you’re instantly greeted with a surprisingly robust vanilla aroma. (more…)

Review: Don Q Gran Anejo Rum

Rating: ★★★½☆

Don Q Rum, named for the windmill-slaying Don Quixote, boasts a commendable line of standard and flavored rums, with Gran Anejo being their flagship, top-of-the-shelf label. The packaging alone is a spectacle – a lovely, squarish glass bottle housed in a golden, satin-lined box that remarkably slides open from the center. But the fun doesn’t end there, as the bottle’s glass stopper is hollowed out in such a way as to measure out a shot for you –  a bit gimmicky, sure, but so spiffy that I just can’t find it in my heart to criticize. (more…)

Review: The DonQ Collection

In my years of writing rum reviews at Bilgemunky.com, I’ve tasted all sorts – top shelf, bottom shelf, aged, white, spiced… but one common sort of rum that I’ve mostly avoided commenting on has been flavored rum. Not that such rum is unworthy of note, but because so much of its magic is dependent on the skills of the bartender. Flavored rums, by and large, are meant to be paired with fruit juice and such, and rarely would a pirate sit back with a large mug of Malibu.

But when DonQ kindly granted me the opportunity to taste their entire line of standard and mixing rums, seriously, how could I decline? And thus we venture forth in what I believe is a Bilgemunky first – flavored rums! (more…)

Review: Ron de Jeremy

Rating: ★★★½☆

www.rondejeremy.com

I’ve reviewed many a rum over the years – and sampled far more than even that. But Ron de Jeremy is most certainly my first experience with a rum made in honor of an adult film star. Ron Jeremy is a legend far beyond his work within the adult film industry – indeed, he’s one of those people who are famous simply for *being*. You don’t need to be a fan of his work to recognize him in the street, nor, I’d wager, to enjoy his rum.

Reviewing Ron de Jeremy invites all sorts of temptation at juevenille humor. But I’m going to try a different tack – let’s talk about the rum itself. In the bottle, Ron de Jeremy is a class act. A short rotund package (god help me, the jokes aren’t so easy to avoid after all… strength…) (more…)

Review: Blackheart Rum

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Blackheart Premium Spiced Rum is the sort of rum that pirate enthusiasts will home in on like gangbusters. From its name to its logo featuring a tattered heart&crossed swords, and then of course to the fetching pirate cutey in her hat, stripey shirt and bucket boots, coily giving either a, “come hither” or “I’m about to stab you” look (it’s tough to tell sometimes), this is packaging that’s bound to turn a head or two. And the price isn’t bad either.

The rum itself is a nice basic amber – not too light so as to look wussy, and not so dark as to scare off the wusses. To the nose Blackheart carries the usual suspect amongst spiced rums – vanilla. But from there it continues on in a sweet direction, not so much spicey as full of toffee perhaps a hint of chocolate. There’s only a slight note of an alcohol burn – only truly apparent if you inhale too sharply (at which point it does indeed burn.) (more…)

Review: Jolly Roger, Redrum, and VooDoo Spiced

Rating: ★★½☆☆
I’ve long been at odds with myself as to which rums I should review, and which ones I shouldn’t. It used to be that I only reviewed rums that I considered to be “sippers,” being as flavored mixing rums are too difficult to seperate from the quality of the mixed drink itself (seriously, even a simple rum&coke is far more forgiving of a rot rum than would be that rot rum by itself.) But here and there I’d find a rum that wasn’t really a sipper, but still warranted comment of some kind. And then a lovely package from Three-D Spirits arrives at my doorstep containing not one but three mixer rums. I mean, they made the effort to send it, the least I can do is offer comment, aye? (more…)

Review: The Lash Spiced Rum

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Made from four year aged rum, steeped with genuine spices, and named for the famous quote regarding “Rum, sodomy, and The Lash.” If you’re a typical Bilgemunky.com reader, then you’re already intrigued. Now how about I tell you that The Lash literally discourages mixing their spiced rum with anything save ice or nada – got your attention yet?

The Lash is a class act from the bottle onward. Short and squat with a synthec cork, this rum takes a far more old-world asthetic to its packaging. The cat-o-nine tails logo is present enough to lend the sense of high seas drama, but not so blatant as to make you feel like you should be wearing bondage gear to purchase the stuff. And the rich, deep amber color of the rum inside is not only warmly inviting, but gently swirls with a small amount of sediment left over from the spices. (more…)