Blackbeard Spiced Rum has risen to the challenge of bearing Teach’s title, but does it live up? In the bottle, its classy and striking, with a black lable and stylized artwork of the man himself. The rum inside is a basic brownish amber, and upon opening you’re instantly greeted with a surprisingly robust vanilla aroma.

Blackbeard was never a pirate to pull punches, and this rum is no different. It meets the tongue boldly with a strong tingly sensation, flavors of vanilla and caramel, and just a hint of wood. When warmed in the mouth it thickens and softens with a comforting warmth and hints of maple, but upon swallowing and allowing air to once again hit your tongue a second wave of tingling strikes with an envigorating vengence. This is not a rum of subtlety, it’s a rum to be recognized.

While not a premium spiced rum that I’d typically choose to enjoy on its own, Blackbeard Spiced Rum has a bold strength that should add character for any number of mixed rum drinks, from the basic Rum&Coke (or in this case, a Black&Coke) to any number of more exotic concoctions. Blackbeard Spiced may not contain any actual gunpowder, but it holds its own just the same.

Don Q Rum, named for the windmill-slaying Don Quixote, boasts a commendable line of standard and flavored rums, with Gran Anejo being their flagship, top-of-the-shelf label. The packaging alone is a spectacle – a lovely, squarish glass bottle housed in a golden, satin-lined box that remarkably slides open from the center. But the fun doesn’t end there, as the bottle’s glass stopper is hollowed out in such a way as to measure out a shot for you –  a bit gimmicky, sure, but so spiffy that I just can’t find it in my heart to criticize.

The rum inside is a straightforward amber, and to the nose smells of cane and bananas. On the tongue you’re quickly met with a profound tingle. As the rum settle in your mouth this is replaced with a sweet creaminess. And on swallowing the finish lingers a remarkably long time, beginning gently and then building strength over the next several moments – a rum that keeps on giving.

Don Q Gran Anejo isn’t exactly the sort of rum that scalawags would slug from their cracked mugs, but does nicely showcase the higher end, gentler flavor profiles so popular these days amongst the more “genteel” rum enthusiasts.

But when DonQ kindly granted me the opportunity to taste their entire line of standard and mixing rums, seriously, how could I decline? And thus we venture forth in what I believe is a Bilgemunky first – flavored rums!

I began with the DonQ Cristal, being the white, unaged, unflavored rum of the bunch. It smelled of a typical rum, but actually tasted slightly richer than I’d expected, with a decent hint of sugarcane flavor. Naturally Cristal lacks the complexities that would be expected in an aged rum, but it was surprisingly palatable in its own right.

Next up was DonQ Gold. A pale amber rum, Gold has been gently aged and carbon filtered to make for another surprisingly smooth mixing rum. Whereas many Gold rums are little better than pure rotgut, Gold is actually quite drinkable, and carries just a hint of overripe fruit. While I wouldn’t consider it an outright sipper, I can definitely see this rum lending some quality to a mixed drink.

DonQ Anejo is a midrange aged rum, and while it doesn’t reach the level of top shelf (stay tuned for Don Q GRAND Anejo, to be reviewed soon), it definitely serves as a quality sipper. A darker, richer amber, Anejo tastes of musky, overripe fruit and leather. It has a long, tingly finish that persists along the lips and roof of the mouth a surprisingly long time. Sugary sweet, Anejo is very much reminiscent of Solera rums, and might be enjoyed by those who appreciate finer, gentler rums.

Moving on to the flavored rums, DonQ Mojito tastes much as you would expect. Minty is its predominant flavor, and while the bottle didn’t list lime as an additional flavor I detected a distinctly fruity undertone nonetheless. Surprisingly full bodied on the tongue, Mojito has a warmth and robustness about it that contrasts with the light, refreshing mintiness I’d expected. Very good, and very surprising.

DonQ Limon is of course a lemony citrus rum. Very much like a noncarbonated citrus soda with a little something extra (rum!) In fact, of the three flavored rums listed here, Limon most strongly features the rum flavorings, whereas Mojito and Coconut all but disguise their alcohol natures.

Last up is DonQ Coconut. Upon opening the bottle, I admit I could have nearly melted into it – this rum doesn’t smell at all like coconut flavored rum, but rather it smells all out like coconut, plain and simple. It instantly conjures a longing for beach vacations I can’t afford. Smooth and tropical, this is definitely a tasty flavored rum.

I’d happily recommend any of these DonQ rums when making mixed drinks, and the DonQ Anejo is perfectly suited to enjoying straight up on its own. A fine batch of rums, and definitely worth checking out.

www.rondejeremy.com

I’ve reviewed many a rum over the years – and sampled far more than even that. But Ron de Jeremy is most certainly my first experience with a rum made in honor of an adult film star. Ron Jeremy is a legend far beyond his work within the adult film industry – indeed, he’s one of those people who are famous simply for *being*. You don’t need to be a fan of his work to recognize him in the street, nor, I’d wager, to enjoy his rum.

Reviewing Ron de Jeremy invites all sorts of temptation at juevenille humor. But I’m going to try a different tack – let’s talk about the rum itself. In the bottle, Ron de Jeremy is a class act. A short rotund package (god help me, the jokes aren’t so easy to avoid after all… strength…) features an aged label displaying the rum’s name and vital stats, along with a line drawing of the man himself. The rum inside is amber, and upon uncorking one is met with the fruitier, sweeter side of rum. Sugar and bananas meet the nose, as does a faint vegetal quality much akin to standing on the beach right next to a tropical forest.

On tasting, this is a rum from the gentler side of things, warm and with just a little bite. It has a comfortable, fruity finish with a hint of caramel and vanilla. Not exactly the sort of bold, fierce rum I generally prefer in my piratey fury, but definitely a worthy contendor for the more genteel sophisticates out there.

Jokes will abound, and I’ve already seen people express a fear of drinking anything with Ron Jeremy’s name on it. Yes, the man has sex for a living. Yes, he’s very hairy. And yes, this rum humorously juxtoposes its classy packaging against Ron’s seedy reputation. But those afeared to try this rum are truly missing out. And besides, would you rather be drinking a rum that honors virginal monks? They call that “cognac.”

note: At the time of this writing, Ron de Jeremy is in limited production, and can only be ordered online. Visit www.rondejeremy.com to grab yourself a numbered bottle.

Blackheart Premium Spiced Rum is the sort of rum that pirate enthusiasts will home in on like gangbusters. From its name to its logo featuring a tattered heart&crossed swords, and then of course to the fetching pirate cutey in her hat, stripey shirt and bucket boots, coily giving either a, “come hither” or “I’m about to stab you” look (it’s tough to tell sometimes), this is packaging that’s bound to turn a head or two. And the price isn’t bad either.

The rum itself is a nice basic amber – not too light so as to look wussy, and not so dark as to scare off the wusses. To the nose Blackheart carries the usual suspect amongst spiced rums – vanilla. But from there it continues on in a sweet direction, not so much spicey as full of toffee perhaps a hint of chocolate. There’s only a slight note of an alcohol burn – only truly apparent if you inhale too sharply (at which point it does indeed burn.)

For a rum that smells sweet and smooth, Blackheart is surprisingly bold on the tongue. The flavor is syrupy and sharp – vanilla, with nutmeg, cedar, and a hint of cherry. “Rummy” flavors, such as molasses and oak are less prominent, and the whole affair is trailed by a lingering warmth of the sort that builds until you feel the hair on your chest stand on end (assuming you have hair on your chest.) This last is no doubt thanks to Blackheart’s robust 93 proof – thus providing a bit more pep than many spiced rums (and many non-spiced rums, for that matter.)

Bleackheart is a very decent spiced rum, and seems a worthy contendor for its price point. Plus it has a hot pirate chick on the label, which is something (on the Bilgemunky.com star rating scale, hot pirate chicks always mean a 1/2 star bonus, in fact!)

Having run the gauntlet with all three rums, I’d say that any would make a decent mixer or even a surprisingly gentle shot, but none is something I’d recommend in a snifter or mug by itself – but that’s no different than the majority of their flavored Malibu, Bacardi, or Cruzan competitors. I began with Jolly Roger Coconut & Key Lime Rum, which comes packaged in Three-D’s distinctive coffin-shaped bottle. I’ve seen plenty of coconut rums before, as well as lime rums, but I don’t know that I’ve often found both in a single rum, so that’s definitely a fun twist. In the glass, Jolly Roger is clear, and smells of coconut and lime, along with a definite dose of alcohol. To the taste Jolly Roger is much the same, although the alcohol is far more subdued than I’d have expected – it actually reminds me of one of those gently flavored mineral waters that were so big in the 80′s.

Next I tried Redrum, which purports to be a blend of “Premium Caribbean Rum & Natural Tropical Flavors.” This time the rum smelled fruity and candy-like, although distinguishing individual fruits is a bit difficult – it’s more like that all-encompassing fruity smell of tropical punch. To the taste Redrum is again surprisingly gentle, although a bit cough mediciny for my taste.

Last up was Voodoo Spiced Rum. It’s actually my belief that my receiving of this rum package was in direct response to my favorable opinions of Kilo Kai, and more recently Kraken spiced rums, both of which have handily raised the bar for spiced rum everywhere, and truly achieved the level of premium, sippable spiced rums. Voodoo, however, just doesn’t measure up in this regard. It smells of vanilla and faintly of spices, but they only barely mask the alcohol. On tasting, Voodoo is light and tingly, but tastes very much of bargain mixer rum with a spicy finish.

Of the three, I think Jolly Roger and Redrum could certainly have a place amongst any basic mixologists cabinet – both offer some unique flavor combinations, are surprisingly easy on the gullet, and could give that perfect kick to your fruity concoctions. Voodoo could also nicely serve for a basic mixer spiced, although unlike its two peers it offers little to set it apart from the vast array of basic spiced mixers that are also available these days.

Made from four year aged rum, steeped with genuine spices, and named for the famous quote regarding “Rum, sodomy, and The Lash.” If you’re a typical Bilgemunky.com reader, then you’re already intrigued. Now how about I tell you that The Lash literally discourages mixing their spiced rum with anything save ice or nada – got your attention yet?

The Lash is a class act from the bottle onward. Short and squat with a synthec cork, this rum takes a far more old-world asthetic to its packaging. The cat-o-nine tails logo is present enough to lend the sense of high seas drama, but not so blatant as to make you feel like you should be wearing bondage gear to purchase the stuff. And the rich, deep amber color of the rum inside is not only warmly inviting, but gently swirls with a small amount of sediment left over from the spices.

To the nose, The Lash is spicy indeed. Nutmeg quickly rises to the top, followed shortly by allspice and cinnamon. As the rum sits in the glass and plays with the air, this initial spicy barrage is subdued a bit, and largely replaced with oranges and old pipe tobacco (the warm, friendly sensation walking into an old sea-captain’s study, not the less pleasant sensation of licking an ashtray.)

On tasting, the aforementioned spices quickly regroup, and they’re not exactly gentle. Much akin to drinking mulling spices, they definitely wake up your mouth before leaving a warm, spicy, slightly dry finish. I found that adding a splash of water nicely softened the blow on future sips, and resulted in a much more enjoyable experience.

In all this review, you might note that I’ve yet to mention much about the inherit flavors and smells of the rum itself, and this is no accident. Apart from the spices added, I really couldn’t get a fix on it. It’s clearly present, but in the case of The Lash, the rum is almost more of a spice delivery system than a flavor factor in its own right. This makes for a very unique drinking experience, and not one I’ve previously encountered. When splashed with water, it can be a very enjoyable beverage – especially for those who’ve yet to develop a full appreciation for aged sipping rum. However, I would disagree with The Lash’s creators on one point – this rum absolutely should be mixed. Not with coke, and not as a way of making the rum more palatable, as is the usual for “mixer” rums. But rather, The Lash carries so much flavor in its own right that it would make an incredible ingredient in an artfully crafted cocktail (one local mixologist suggested shaking it up with an egg to create a first rate “Flip”.) In the hands of a truly heroic bartender, The Lash could surely be the key to some legendary concoctions.

But meantime, a splash of water and you’ll do just fine

www.roaringdanrum.com

It’s just a fact – Wisconsin is known for cheese. You want to know two things Wisconsin isn’t known for? Rum and pirates. But surprising as it might be, Wisconsin now has both.

“Roaring” Dan Seavey was indeed the only person ever charged with piracy on the Great Lakes, and it’s for this reason that the Great Lakes Distillery opted to name their very first rum in his honor. A scalliwagg of the early 20th century, Roaring Dan was hardly your typical golden age swashbuckler – but he was mean and cantankerous enough to put even Blackbeard to shame. Indeed, Blackbeard never used his own ship as a floating whorehouse, nor did he dispatch an opponent in a bar brawl by dropping a piano on his head.

Like the seagoing miscreant whose name it bears, Roaring Dan Rum is far from typical. Correction, Roaring Dan Maple Flavored Rum is far from typical. Aye, maple. I’ve seen rum in an assortment of flavors in my time, but never maple. More on that soon.

In the bottle, Roaring Dan is a very light amber, but still maintains a hint of vibrancy. To the nose, it carries some of rum’s gentler qualites, including a smooth, creamy dose of cane juice and vanilla, topped off by the added maple.

Despite its gentle aroma, Roaring Dan does have a bit of bite as it travels across the tongue – not unpleasantly, but enough to wake you up and remind you you’re drinking something a mite stronger than liquid candy. The flavors naturally echo the aromas – cane juice, vanilla, maple, although they’re somewhat dodgy, and seem to linger most on the outskirts of the mouth (back of tongue, back of cheeks…)

Roaring Dan’s flavors might be tricky when left on their own, but as a mixer this rum truly shines. The creamy, maple nature of it allows for all sorts of drink combinations you might not normally associate with rum, and none is a more perfect match (or easier mix) than a simple Roaring Dan and cream soda. Rarely would I ever conceive to mix cream soda with rum, but in this case I tell ya, it’s magic!

Roaring Dan Rum might seem a rather gentle concoction to name after such a dastardly soul as Dan Seavey – until you learn that Dan himself was actually rather soft-spoken, and had a soft spot for children. In this way the rum suddenly seems all too fitting for this man of the Great Lakes. Like a maply version of 10 Cane it maintains that approachable sweetness of sugar cane rather than straying into the more firey turf of most rum. As such, it can make for an excellent addition to many coctails, and remain approachable to rum-drinker and pedestrian alike.

www.rondiplomatico.com

I’ve stated many times that, for me, rum enjoyment begins not in the glass, but on the shelf. While you can’t judge a book by its cover, packaging matters. Rums like Diplomático Reserva Exclusiva clearly understand this truth – from its squat, frosted bottle to the montone, duty-stamp label this is a rum designed to convey a product that’s traveled a great distance, and a great exapanse of time, to find its way into your eager hands.

This initial impression is only slightly hindered by the plastic screw top and one-way diffuser, an understandable precaution to ensure the bottle hasn’t been refilled and resold by some miscreant, but I always feel robbed of the experience of working the cork for the first time. But let’s move on, as there’s rum to be poured…

In the glass, Diplomático is a deep, rich amber, while to the nose it bears the deeply sweet, syrupy quality indicative of fine, South American rums – less about oak and musk, and more about overripe fruit, vanilla, and clove.

Upon tasting, Diplomático is full and candylike. Surprisingly approachable, it brings a heady, desert-like quality reminiscent of candied fruit, and reminding me strongly of the much hailed Ron Zacapa 23.

Fans of sweeter, more liquour-like rums should definitely give Diplomático Reserva Exclusiva a go. It’s hardly the “in your face gunpowder goes boom” experience I personally enjoy in my favorite rums, but it’s an excellent drink in its own respects.

Never, in all my years of reviewing rum, have I ever described a product as “thicker than milk, but thinner than a shake.” But then, I’ve never reviewed a rum cream before. Truth be told, there’s not that many of them on the market – only two or three to my knowledge. And of those I’d tried, they were good and all, but they were pretty much akin to Bailey’s Irish Cream, but made with rum.

Not so with RumChata – this is as different from Bailey’s as rum is from vodka. Yes it’s white, and yes it’s creamy. But RumChata boasts an assortment of smells and flavors that I’ve never before encountered in a rum (or booze-cream) product. The key here is the “chata,” being derived from Horchata. Horchata, for those that don’t know (I didn’t know) is a Mexican/Central American treat made from rice, and this connection is immediately apparent when you poor yourself a glass of RumChata. The smell of rice – think rice pudding, not that stuff you mix with Chinese takeout – is by far the most prominent flavor, both to the nose and the tongue alike. But there is more – rum, vanilla, and cinnamon are also apparent, as is a hint of coconut (which actually isn’t present at all, but it’s just a trick of the rice.)

The limits to RumChata are pretty much boundless. I love it chilled on its own, but it’s also killer in coffee. I hear it can also be used to make a fantastic French Toast, which I heartily believe. And if anyone ever concocted a means of thickening it up to drizzle over rum cake, a single bite just might launch you into orbit. So wear a helmet.

If rum is the devil’s brew, then RumChata is clearly the vice of the angels.