Seriously, I found this highly educational. I thought I knew all I knew about pirates and ninjas, but know I know there was more to know, and the Old Spice Guy has the mad skillz.

So there’s some debate whether it’s pronounced “pay-stee” or “pah-stee.” Whichever the case, it’s a reference to what we good-hearted ‘mericans would call “pastries” (leave it to the dastardly Brits to try and confuse us by naming their snack-foods after stripper gear.) Anyways, check out their website, cuz it’s pirate to the core. It’s also a damn site more fun to explore than some pirate computer games. You know, those ones that you find for $5 at OfficeMax in a giant bin [cough-BlackBuccaneer-cough].

westcornwallpasty.co.uk

We all know that the current “steampunk-pirate” infatuation is really just a transitional phase to full fledged robot pirates. So I figured this Friday was a good time to give things a boost with this rockin’ robot pirate music vid. It’s a glimpse at your future, maties. Enjoy, and stock up on RUM RAM.

It’s our good mate OderlessEye, interviewed at Comic-Con. Fun bit, although I’m not certain that was Blackbeard he was salutin’.

You may not know this about me, but I like rum. In fact, one could even say I like it a lot. Which is why I was delighted to visit Smuggler’s Cove in San Fransisco this past June while being hosted by some good friends from The Seadogs. The place is definitely set up to be one of those “best kept secret” sort of places, as you could drive past it a hundred times and never know it was there. But once you do enter the door you’ll be greeted with glorious… [read more »]

That’s right mates – if’n ya be the literate sort, then here’s your chance to be the first on your block to read The Pirate Devlin, being the new pirate novel from Mark Keating:

In THE PIRATE DEVLIN, Mark Keating delivers a gripping adventure novel in which a servant captured by pirates becomes their captain and finds himself searching for a king’s fortune–on a course set to pit him against his former master, a man now sworn to kill him. Fans of Patrick O’Brien and C.S. Forrester will be swept up in the high seas battles, chases, and trickery. Keating’s debut brings all the excitement and fury of the 18th-century’s golden age of piracy.

So how do you win, you ask? Two things you have to do – first, respond to this post in the comments by telling us all the first thing you’d buy if YOU had a king’s fortune at hand. And no, responding on Facebook or Twitter doesn’t count – you have to respond right here at Bilgemunky.com. Do so by Monday August 9th, 2010, because that evening I’ll draw two winners from the entries and read them out on Bilgemunky Radio. I will NOT announce the winners here – you gotta listen to Bilgemunky Radio episode 138, either live on Monday, or via podcast if you want to know if you’re the winner. I’ll give you a week to get your act together, at which point if you haven’t claimed your prize I’ll just give it to Doglock Hawk, who’s been practicin’ his letters something fierce this year and hopes to learn to read real good.

Last week I addressed Old Spice Swagger deodorant and how it really doesn’t smell very piratey. Well, that’s nothing compared to Jean Paul Gaulter’s “Le Male” fragrance collection – the perfect way to tell the man in your life that you think he’s a gay sailor. I mean, seriously, what straight dude wants to see a bulging masculine torso sitting by his sink each morning? That’s a rhetorical question, so please don’t clutter the comments with jabs at your buddies.

The best part of it all is that the back of this flyer recommended the Le Male gift pack as a Father’s Day gift. Adoption and drunken indiscretions aside, I still think that, statistically speaking, the gentlemen who’d best appreciate “Le Male” aren’t fathers. Leather Daddies, maybe, but not fathers.

Seriously, what can I say about NorCal 2010 that doesn’t sound like a repeat of my 2009 After Action Report? I mean, if ever a festival was damn near perfect, NorCal be its name, and this year was every bit as stellar as the years prior – great food, great shopping, great entertainment… [read more »]

Captain Marty Scapegoat – performer/composer of the grand “The Bilgemunky” song, has just revamped his video. The monkey puppet is as creepy as ever, but now it’s all in sweet grainy, with bizarre transitional elements – ya know ye’ll love it!

And as an added bonus, what the hell is this??? [read more »]

So I was pretty stoked when I saw Old Spice’s “Swagger” at my local supermarket. I mean, just look at it! The red and black label, the very name “swagger”, and of course Old Spice’s long tradition of making you smell, well, old. And spicy. Anyways, I figured if ever there was an underarm deodorant that would make you smell piratey, this must be it.

Well, let’s not get too excited. First and foremost Swagger smells like nothing more than underarm deodorant. You know that smell that all other deodorants have? Yeah, that smell. Maybe it’s the smell of the aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex, but it has that same, non-distinctive perfuminess that they all seem to have. Coupled with that smell that they add to all “manly” deodorants so as to distinguish them from girly ones. Let’s call it “Drakkar.”

So beneath these initial, primary aromas, is there an underlying foundation of pirate smells? Beats me, I’ve already grown bored with it. Which probably means no.