An Interview with Sir Francis Drake’s Descendent

I thought I’d try something a little different this time, so rather than blathering on by myself, I present you with the following interview of a REAL LIFE PIRATE DESCENDENT 🙂

Bilgemunky.com: Tonight we’re speaking with Adam Drake who’s agreed to be interviewed by telephone (even though he only lives three blocks from me.) Adam resides in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and is a direct descendent of Sir Francis Drake, legendary privateer to Queen Elizabeth of England during the mid-to-late 1500’s. Adam, thanks for joining us.

Adam Drake: Thanks for having me.

BM: Now, you’re a direct descendent of Sir Francis…

AD: Actually, no.

Adam Drake - Pirate

BM: No?

AD: Sir Francis Drake never had any children. I’m a direct descendent of his brother.

BM: Oh. Uhh…

AD: Sorry.

BM: No, it’s fine. I, uh, I just don’t have anywhere to go with this now. My whole interview was sort of premised on you being a direct descendent, is all.

AD: Well, I’m almost a direct descendent. More than most people.

BM: I guess you still share his blood – maybe some of these questions still apply.

AD: Shoot.

BM: Ok. Let’s see. Ah! Do you have any fond memories of your great, great, etc, uncle?

AD: Well, no. He died a long time ago. Long before I was born.

BM: Oh, how tragic. Sorry.

AD: It’s ok.

BM: Do your parents have any fond memories they might have shared with you?

AD: Not really.

BM: Moving on then. Being as you share Drake’s blood, have you ever found yourself to have any special hereditary pirate powers?

AD: No.

BM: The ability to control parrots with your mind?

AD: No.

BM: A superhuman tolerance to rum?

AD: No.

BM: How about an unnatural, kryptonite-like susceptibility to dysentery?

[long pause]

AD: No.

BM: Ever been to Nombre de Dios?

[another pause]

AD: Do you have any other questions?

BM: Sure. The Russian computer game developer Akella is currently producing “Swashbucklers: The Legacy of Drake,” but as yet they have no plans to make you, the actual legacy of Drake, an option as a player character. How do you feel about that?

AD: What are you talking about?

BM: I’m just saying that as Drake’s heir, don’t you think I should be able to select you as my character when playing this game?

AD: I’d prefer you didn’t.

Artist's impression of Adam Drake as a player character in "Swashbucklers: The Legacy of Drake"

Artist's impression of Adam Drake as a player character in "Swashbucklers: The Legacy of Drake"

BM: I see. Let’s talk about the 1940 movie “The Sea Hawk”, in which Errol Flynn played a character that was blatantly ripped off your great uncle. How did he feel about that?

AD: Look, I really think I should be going.

BM: Wait, I have a whole series of questions about your family’s current relationship with Spain. Tell me, have there been any recent heated exchanges between yourself and King Juan Carlos?

[at this point our connection was unfortunately cut off. I tried to call back, but I guess he didn’t hear the phone ringing]

Comments (10)

  1. Jamaica Rose

    Bilgemunky — you asked me to check out your interview with a Drake descendant. Told me it was some of your “finest work”, you did.

    So I read the interview. Now what I want to know is, … “finest work” in what capacity?

  2. Bilge (Post author)

    Are you kidding? This is investigative journalism at its very finest!

  3. Jeremy Elford

    Hi. I can’t believe you found someone almost as distantly related to Drake as I am! Well done you all. It turns out that my great great…(many times) grandmother remarried to Drakes brother, after her husband (an Elford) died, young.
    Brilliant journalism anyway, I can only agree with ‘Bilge’ above. We oftentimes enjoy driving around the Drake memorial here in Tavistock, Devon as the children tip their hats to ‘Uncle’ Drake. I’m not quite sure how to break the news to them of how tenuous our link to their past is. Yours, JE

  4. Devin

    I am also a related to the Drakes. My mother’s father’s mother (Great Grandmother) was a Drake and was related to one of his brothers.
    But don’t bother contacting me with any of your stupid asinine questions!!

  5. Bilge (Post author)

    Very well, Devin, I’ll take you off my contact list. It’s a shame, too, because I had some really great questions about those idiotic inflated pantaloons they wore in Drake’s time. I mean, were they flotation devices or something?

  6. Marcia Simpson

    I also have the salty god Sir Francis Drake in my genealogy, my grandmother researched and copy righted our Drake lineage back to the 4th century! Quite a feat indeed.

  7. Marcia Simpson

    OMG am I dyslexic or what? HAHA “god”= dog!

  8. Amelia Sayers

    I too can trace back to the Drakes, my grandmother’s mother (or grandmother) was a Drake, and my Maternal Grandfather named hs boat “The New Golden Hind”.
    Bless

  9. J

    hahahaha
    radical
    totally radical

  10. Donna Lewis

    I am as well a descendant of Sir Francis, though not directly of course. My 9th great grand mother was Elizabeth Drake (1623-1658) her father was Francis Adam Drake and her mother was Joane Gawton. I am prettty sure that Francis Adam Drake is the nephew of Sir Francis Drake.

Comments are closed.