Pyrate Daze’s Celebrity List FAILS

Being overly blunt has never won me friends, but I just can’t put this delicately – Pyrate Daze┬áhas the most idiotic celebrity guest list imaginable for a pirate festival of any sort. Sure, it has some of the usual suspects (Jamaica Rose, Cascabel, a large helping of Pirates of the Caribbean B-listers, and others), but the lion’s share of the guest list is comprised of folks that have nothing… remotely… to do… with… PIRATES. Consider:

  • Eddie Applegate – The Patty Duke Show, Gunsmoke, & Exorcism
  • Stacy Burke – Playboy Playmate & The Girls Next Door
  • Terrell Clayton – Spider-Man 3, Six Feet Under, Lakeview Terrace, & Dragonfly
  • Ed Gale – Howard The Duck, Child’s Play, Spaceballs, Phantasm 2, Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey, Demon Island, Weird Science & Land Of The Lost
  • Kathy Garver – Family Affair, Spider-Man And His Amazing Friends, & The Princess Diaries
  • Donald Glut – Author of Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, Masters Of The Universe, He-Man (TV Series), The Frankenstein Files, Carnosaur, also starred in King Kong.
  • Ron Lester – Not Another Teen Movie, Varsity Blues, Good Burger, & Popular
  • Patrick Muldoon – Starship Troopers, Stigmata, Wicked, & Melrose Place
  • Lorielle New – Grindhouse, Postal, Dead Doll, & The Pitt And The Pendulum
  • Robert Rasner – Saved By The Bell, The Cable Guy, & Thr3e (He also performs magic tricks for fans at his table)
  • Jennifer Rhodes – Charmed, Heathers, Night Of The Demons 2, Ghost Fever, & Nightingales
  • Charlie Robinson – Night Court, Beowulf, & Home Improvement
  • Tim Russ – Star Trek Voyager, Samantha Who, Live Free Or Die Hard, iCarly, & Spaceballs
  • Greg Travis – Starship Troopers, Watchmen, Halloween 2 (2009), Night of The Living Dead, Mortuary, Showgirls & Toolbox Murders
  • Taylor Wayne – Supermodel, Also starred in Entourage & Little Nicky
  • Jim Winburn – Halloween (The Original Michael Myers)
  • Audra Lynn – Playboy Playmate 2003 (Will be wearing a Pirate Outfit from a Photo shoot she did)
  • Bill Blair – Babylon 5
  • Lisa Wilcox – A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 & 4 and Star Trek Generation
  • Cassandra Hepburn – Hell Ride, 2001 Maniacs, & Medium
  • Don Marshall – Star Trek & Land Of The Giants
  • Larry Flash Jenkins – Fletch & Ferris Buellers Day Off
  • Chanel Ryan – Supermodel that has appeared in BASEketball & George Wallace
  • Deon Richmond – Not Another Teen Movie, The Cosby Show, Hatchet, Van Wilder, Scream 3, & Sister Sister

Seriously? SERIOUSLY??? In some ways, Pyrate Daze sounds like a fine time – especially for those pirates with some steampunk in their blood. But celebrity guests from Night Court? Star Trek? King Kong??? Is this still a pirate convention, or a mixer for washed up C-List celebrities? Somebody is seriously on drugs.

Comments (16)

  1. kil

    who are these people????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. redtomread

    Audra Lynn in a pirate costume sounds okay………………..I guess? Not only are they c-list celebrities, but not even c-list celebrities from pirate movies, most not even good movies! Wow, well at least Robert Rasner does magic tricks at his table. Wait a minute who the f#$% is Robert Rasner, and why has his career come to doing magic tricks at a table at a pirate festival?

  3. Jared

    I have to say that some pirate festivals aren’t always what they claim to be… but, it sounds like Comic-con and like conventions intermingling with what is a very straight-forward festival/convention. Is it perhaps the lack of participation by those of us that sail under the jolly roger… or is it something else? Either way its still very disappointing.

  4. Benerson Little

    Being “overly blunt” is referred to as “plain speaking,” a hallmark of the mariner (and of anyone else living on the edge). Life wouldn’t be interesting is everyone were your friend. No need to apologize for the truth. :-)

  5. Red Bess

    Hmm, makes me wonder about the definition of a “celebrity guest list”… Are these people really appearing at Pyrate Daze as part of the entertainment? Or are these just out-of-work actors who got comp tickets from someone they know on the committee?

    C’mon, Pyrate Daze, you are in California; on the ocean, for crying out loud! You can find better “pirates” than that!

  6. Dave Nichols

    Wait, I think I see the common link. ALL of these people would do ANYTHING for a small part in a B or C movie. The fact that they’d sell their souls or their dear mum’s bones for a few doubloons sort of makes them pirates, no?

    Ah… maybe not.

  7. Oderlesseye

    Aye maybe they are holding out that they might be pressed into service under the Jolly Rodger.. Eye see it as an Opportunity to give them all Pirate names as they pass me bye to my left and right…He you..yeah you..Ye sea squirming vermin. Me thinks to uhmm call ye Crusty Scuppers! And you..auhh lemme think.. ye two bit sand dollar…I calls ye Bleedin Offal.
    And they would smile and get others to call them that all day long..Hee heee!
    (Offal means piece of crap or scumbag..pg 229 of The pirate Primer)

  8. Red Beard

    Sweet! Ron Lester will be there! I am totally going…

  9. Bilge (Post author)

    Stop the presses, they’ve added three more celebrities:

    Dian Bachar – Baseketball, Galaxy Quest, South Park, & Orgazmoo

    William Romeo – American Gladiators

    TJ Austin – GI Joe & 2012

    Now that they have an American Gladiator, I retract all my snippy remarks – that just makes up for everything :P

    Actually, haveing Choda Boy (Dian Bachar) is pretty cool, although still…. NOTHING TO DO WITH PIRATES. But that said, am I the only one that’s starting to think that Steampunk Sunday sounds like the most interesting part of the festival? While I don’t care for the reckless merger of these two genres, at least Sunday brings something new to the equation rather than the same PotC psuedo-celebrities answering the same questions they’ve been asked a thousand times before.

  10. Virginia Hey

    Well.. Im a guest.. I was invited to attend to join in the celebration and merriment.. Im not affiliated with any Pirate Club or Group, nor have I performed as a pirate in any theatre, Film or TV production. I accepted to attend because I thought it would be so much fun to be a part of a happy celebration, regardless of who or who has not performed as a pirate. Goodness gracious guys, chillout and have some fun.. is there a jealousy between clubs? Perhaps thats what the issue is here.. Sour grapes perhaps? Thats a bit childish! Actually I heard from a live performance pirate stunt director who was livid that his club had not been invited or had thought to put on a large convention like this.. Maybe all the pirate clubs need to be in contact with eachother and join forces? Justr an idea..
    Virginia Hey

  11. Bilge (Post author)

    Virginia, your comments are much appreciated. But please show a little more restraint before suggesting that our concerns are childish or born of sour grapes. My only issue here is that a pirate convention should focus on catering to pirate related interests – which this guest list is clearly not.

    Conventions are built around themes – a common element. Computer conventions don’t typically invite rodeo clowns, model railroad conventions wouldn’t invite chess champions, and a pirate convention shouldn’t feature an enormous guest list of actors and actresses that have nothing to do with the subject at hand. This isn’t a criticism of those performers, but rather the management that chose to bring them to an event at which they can make no relevant contribution.

  12. AqueousAurora

    I think the addition of clubs and C-D-E-F list actors dying for a photo opp is because ticket sales are poor. The extra folks are the equivalent of seat fillers. Hope I’m wrong, because I’ve been looking forward to this.

  13. Oderlesseye

    AYe well Eye have to say the verdict is in on this event.. Read on…
    http://blogs.laweekly.com/style_council/events/pirates-versus-steampunks-at-p/index.php?page=1

  14. Jamaica Rose

    While I too was a bit puzzled by the propensity of non-piratey “celebrities” I’d never heard of before, I considered the TRUE celebrities of this great event to be Abney Park (WOO HOO), Rusty Cutlass, There Be Pirates!, Skip Henderson, Cascabel, The Doxie Chicks, Braze, John Blakemore, Cindy Warner, several of the POTC actors, and our PyRat Capt. Bartholomew Roberts! (Probably a few others in there I forgot to mention).

    I was told the other celebrities were there because they would come for free (or nearly free), and they were just extra grease to help get a new event off the ground.

    Frankly, I don’t think they were needed – the event was a blast, and we will certainly return next year. A pirate event ON A SHIP, next to the ocean, with another pirate ship sailing by and firing cannons at it — how cool is that?

    –Jamaica Rose

  15. Bilge (Post author)

    Glad to hear it, Jamaica. So far the reviews of Pyrate Daze have been nothing but stellar. While the “celebrity” guest list was clearly watered down by off-topic actors, this sounds like it had little impact once the festival actually got rolling.

    Of course, the other elephant in the room is that half this pirate event was actually steampunk – which means many pirates sported dual identities between Saturday and Sunday. So I gotta ask – how well are steampunk contraptions recieved by airport security :D ?

    “Seriously, that’s a brass phaser cannon, but don’t worry, it doesn’t work. Nor do the time crystals affixed to my bowler hat alongside the mousetrap looking thing. Perfectly harmless, I mean it.”

  16. EM that ME

    My friend and I loved the event steam and pirates meld well. It was better than a plain pirate only event! We look forward to doing this again. Food was awesome (most hotels are dry yuck this was not the case) A few things bothered me. The ball room was hot as hell. The tables were scrunched too tight in the room. Areas were lit well others dark.The sound from the stage was hard to hear. And the saddest thing i understand people have yet to be paid for their work. (people were told not to cash their checks after the event)
    Who knows about that?
    There were contests i did not know about I could not hear who won?
    The event as a whole was pretty cool. I hope more vendors come next time.
    I hope it can be improved with bigger names… other than that it was great!

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