I’m the PIRATE KING (of my own butt)

I’m all for incorporating pirates into modern fashion, but cripes, could someone finally do it right? (actually a few have, but most?…)

So yeah, here’s a picture of some new One Piece jeans. In case you didn’t notice, they say “Im gonna be the Pirate King!!” across the buttocks. And yes, that’s an exact quote, missing apostrophe and all. Bad grammar and bad fashion all rolled into one.

Slick, eh? No don’t let me catch any of you wearing these about town – that might be grounds for kicking you in the Pirate King.

Oh, and for a more detailed breakdown of these jeans and all their One Piece splendor, check out comicsalliance.com, which is where I stole the above picture from anyways.

Comments (10)

  1. DangerBoy

    Umm…there are no words. Perhaps they’ll be a big hit in Somalia?

  2. Capt. Thomas Foolery

    Claims of royalty-level pirateness expressly stated on one’s buttocks tends to give the impression that the wearer is a different type of pirate. Still interested in booty, but of a vastly different sort.

  3. Captain McCool

    Hahaha… agreed wholeheartedly, Cap’n Tom.

    Besides, these are ONE PIECE pirate pants. And what is One Piece? A “pirate” themed ANIME. And where does Anime come from? JAPAN. And what also comes from Japan? NINJAS. It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya!

    Clearly those wiley ninjas are trying to poison would-be pirates with their silly, poorly-animated, goofy-eyed, clothes-changing-for-no-reason-and-growing-fangs-when-you’re-angry nonsense! The goal here is clearly to trick pirate neophytes into thinking these are cool, so they’ll wear the stupid “pirate king” logo on their butt (an extremely improper use of booty), and thereby bring shame on the entire pirate community!

    Damn you ninjas!!!!

  4. Yellowbeard

    Bugga that … Pants don’t make a King , lol … We know there is only one true Pirate King…we saw him at NorCal last yarrr …P^)>

  5. Blackstrap Ben

    I happen to like the show One Piece, but these pants… Wow. I mean, when did guys even start wearing pants with words their ass, let alone entire sentences that lack grammar?

    I propose a different pair of pirate pants: they’ll say something cheesy like “The Captain’s Booty” and will be for the ladies. That way everyone will know who your wench is and you’ll have an excuse to look at her ass in more polite company.

  6. Pirate Chaplain

    I’m on board with Captain McCool. Clearly those ninjas have designs on our culture and freedom with their silly butt signs. I only hope those lubbers get broadsided where it hurts!

  7. Red Beard

    Having a pirate reference on the butt might not work out well for some poor guy thrown in jail.

  8. Doglock Hawk

    Douchebag: (doosh-bag)
    An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.

  9. gunpowder gertie

    Now I know the true meaning o’ the word “bumbags”.

  10. dreadsteel

    Their are only 3 ways in which these pants could be worse:

    A: They could come pre-made as Daisy Duke’s for Men
    B: They could come with the Pirate King’s bedazzled codpiece from “The Pirate Movie”
    C: For the perfect storm, A & B

    That being said, these are def not the jeans for me, I’ll stick with my Black Barts.

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