Ummm…

Should Disney Hire Rob Zombie for Pirates of the Caribbean 4? | WorstPreviews.com.

I admit that I’ve never seen a single film directed by Rob Zombie. I know a little of his music, and I’ve seen some of the previews of his films, and nothing about him seems to say “Disney” to me, which is exactly what makes this idea rather intriguing. Not necessarily good, mind you, but certainly something to chew over.

Not that I think it has an ounce of merit, mind you. If Zombie directs a Disney pirate film I’ll eat me hat. Or at least take a bite of it.

Comments (13)

  1. Capt. Anne Paisley

    I think Disney announced they are signing Rob Marshall (Chicago, Memoirs of a Geisha) to direct.

  2. Doglock_Hawk

    Rob Zombie has always been a huge fan of B rate slasher flicks. That being said, he can still pump out some really good major films as well like the new Halloweens. There’s no way he would pump out a terrible movie unless Disney jammed some crap down his throat (which would probably cause him to give them the finger and leave).

    If he does direct… it’s a good thing.

  3. Long John Smith

    Rob Zmbie direct POTC4? That would be very interesting if it did happen. I am sure he would put his personal touch on it in some way. It is a wait and see situation.

    Up The Irons!

  4. Mad Jack Skinner

    Sorry dog, but IMO the new Halloweens suck. I won’t even watch them. Seriously, no one should EVER mess with a John Carpenter movie… ESPECIALLY Halloween.

    I love Love LOVE Zombie’s first two flicks, especially House, one of my favorite movies of all time, but I can never never EVER see him being able to do a disney flick. Wait for ‘El Superbeasto’, and you’ll see that there’s no way Zombie could ever be aligned with Disney’s image that they want to produce. Notice also how there is no mention what Disney Pictures has to say about it- it was just some BS question that MTV asked Zombie while in an interview.

    Now, Zombie doing a non-Disney, non-historically correct pirate flick would be amazing- plenty of blood, violence, raping and pillaging all on screen. Would be a good contrast to these latest string of ‘family friendly’ pirate movies…

  5. Red Beard

    I agree with Mad Jack Skinner. The Halloween re-makes aren’t that great. I like Rob Zombie, but his style and vision shouldn’t ever cross swords with Walt Disney’s pirate franchise. I agree, it would be interesting to see him tackle a pirate film…but just not one made by the mouse.

    My beef with a lot of Zombie’s films is that he often goes overboard and crosses the line of macabre / horror with unintelligent hillbilly vulgarity. The first Halloween remake would have been a lot more scary if he kept a distance from the “trailer trash” aspect of the characters and simply told a good chilling story. Sure, it worked for Devil’s Rejects…but it doesn’t work for every movie.

    My thought is that if he did do a Pirates of the Caribbean movie (which won’t ever happen), there would be a lot more focus on pirates raping people and sodomizing cabin boys while Jack Sparrow drops the “f-bomb” every 3 seconds.

  6. Doglock_Hawk

    Oh yeah, well maybe the two of you should get a room. That way you can spend all night just agreeing with each other.

  7. Captain ReRow Greentoker

    I Also Herd it would be Rob Marshall Directing. And that it’s gonna Be a steam punk movie!?? WTF why can’t we shake the steam punk did we learn nothing from the bomb at the box office Will Smith wild wild west or what ever it was called if i’m wrong. why must they run everything into the ground?!!!
    Zombie should come out with a pirate movie of his own about Cheng & Cheng I Sao, Kidd or Blackbeard or some other Bad assed ruthless pirateEven Anne Bonney and marry reed and show us for what we arrr. i’m tired of all these cutesy pirate movies and now they are gonna kill them worse with steam punk no offense to steam punk but get yer own genera and yer own festivals or we may have to start taking noses and lips again at least i might

  8. Bilge (Post author)

    Suggesting that no one try anymore steampunk movies because of Wild Wild West is like suggesting no one should have tried a pirate movie after Cutthroat Island (which indeed, no one did for many, many years.)

    Wild West sucked not because it was steampunk, but because it was poorly written and poorly executed. So go ahead, bring on the steampunk movies… EXCEPT, steampunk has no place in the PotC franchise – completely wrong time period, wrong tone, wrong mix of sci-fi and history.

    Of course, since so many people look to these films to set the standards, should PotC 4 actually be steampunk, the battle is lost and you’ll never be able to explain to a newbie pirate reenactor that jetpacks aren’t appropriate :(

  9. Doglock_Hawk

    Friggin’ purists says I. I kinda liked Wild West and I also liked Cutthroat Island. Are they magical movies that will inspire generations? No, but they were both still decent for what the creators were going for. Something outside the norm and outside the “boundaries”.

    Here’s a real pirate movie.

    “We sailed for 40 days and only accumulated seagull droppings. Then we pirated a ship that was carrying ladies under garments from France. After that, we sailed to town, got recognized and was shot on sight. We got buried face down as an insult and then 300 years later a McDonald’s was built over our unmarked graves.”

    It’s all going to be mostly fluff, humor or whatever else makes it interesting enough for someone to sink money into.

    The pirate movie that most of us REALLY want to see will never be made. It’s too small of a demographic so you should really just enjoy every little scrap you can get your hands on. If Disney want’s to make something “piratey”, then fine by me. No one else is doing anything close.

  10. Red Beard

    “Of course, since so many people look to these films to set the standards, should PotC 4 actually be steampunk, the battle is lost and you’ll never be able to explain to a newbie pirate reenactor that jetpacks aren’t appropriate.”

    Hey! Rum is like a jetpack!

  11. Capt. Anne Paisley

    No way, the steampunk thing is just another one of these stupid rumors. Everybody involved with the movie keeps saying they are getting back to basics and focusing on the Sparrow/Barbossa interaction. They all admitted things got waaay out of hand before.

  12. Doglock Hawk

    Red Beard,

    I’ve been meaning to tell you. You should change the lyrics from “to use against.. the dutch” to the Spanish. The dutch really aren’t that bad. Certainly nothing to the douchebaggery of Spain.

    Oh… rum is like a jetpack.. except it’s rum, but rum tastes better… then jetpacks!

  13. Red Beard

    Oh, there you go again hating the Spanish. How cliché.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>