Mad Props, Yo (and get your liver examined)

The email simply reads:

WE ARE THE WORLDS GREATEST JACKTAR RUM SUPPORTERS (DEON LOUW AND MARKUS ROSSOUW).SEE FOTOS.OUR JACKTAR CONSUMPTION FOR ONE YEAR.

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For those who aren’t clear, those are bottle caps. Counting those on the sign as well, I’m estimating approximately 477 bottles – and that’s consumed by two guys in one year. Simple math:

477 bottles a year divided by two guys, 365 days in a year, 750 mL per bottle, 3,785.4 mL in a gallon, 16 cups in a gallon, and viola! – 2 cups of rum per guy per day.

Don’t think that sounds like much? Consider that the average American doesn’t drink that much WATER on a daily basis and we begin to realize that Deon and Markus probably aren’t actually human, but more likely are superior alien beings that survive on rum. Rather than carbon-based, their species is made up of gunpowder and rust. And instead of walking on two legs they sort of stumble and roll, or perhaps just lie there in a puddle of their own drool while the ceiling spins, wishing to god they could make it to the bathroom very, very soon.

Comments (7)

  1. Doglock Hawk

    Hey Bilge… photochop an eyepatch and hook hand will ya. We got an image to uphold. !vv! (^o^) ?

  2. Ember

    Soo… if they drank that much, surely they know where to acquire the stuff? I can’t find any online stores to ship, nor even info, except glowing reviews!

    Heeeeelp!

    –Ember–

  3. Bilge (Post author)

    Well, I tried emailing them, but sadly it bounced. I tried!

  4. Markus

    Sorry guys,we went for surgery.Big operations.Had to remove one of our longs to make space for our livers.Harr Harr.
    Ready for the new year with our friend jack tarrrr

  5. Paul Kiler

    And where can one buy this Jack Tar Rum? I am having a terrible time finding it online, or in California.

    Thanks

  6. Bilge (Post author)

    I’d tell you if I knew, Paul, but I’ve never seen it on the shelves or online either. Clearly it’s available in some regions, but not all.

  7. Sioux

    These 2 guys are rum drinkers after my own heart!!! I dont bother with the 750ml bottles, they get finished far too quickly!! Jack Tar is readily available in South Africa 🙂

Comments are closed.