Bacardi’s Gonna Lose its Monopoly…

This really pisses me off, because I *like* picking on Bacardi. Seriously, it’s one of the great joys in my life. Over the years I’ve dug up all kinds of news reports where somebody does something idiotic involving rum, and time and again the rum in question was Bacardi. But lately the idiots seem to be diversifying their tastes. I recently posted a story where one yahoo broke into a bar and ran off with Captain Morgan, and now this other joker gets caught shoplifting Cockspur:

Rum thief is jailed for 30 days | Bermuda Court

True, neither of these stories are as dopey as, say, the guy that strapped his Bacardi into a car seat for a high speed police chase (while neglecting to wear a seatbelt himself. But still, it’s a disturbing trend that threatens my beloved passtime of Bacardi-hatin’.

Bacardi wins yet another award. Which further demonstrates that awards aren’t worth squat.

I just don’t get the popularity of Bacardi. Sure, it’s a huuuuuge business success and is used as a mixer all over the world. I don’t have a problem with this. But just because McDonalds has sold a billion burgers doesn’t make them a steakhouse. And neither is Bacardi a top shelf rum. I’ve tried all sorts of their rums – the aged and the unaged, but none of it seemed fit to consume by its lonesome. And yet, here they are, winning yet another honor:

BACARDI Rum Wins Top Honor from World Renowned Spirits Institute Monde Selection® | Business Wire

Really, the problem here isn’t Bacardi, but the image of rum itself. Where the world of whiskey has Bourbon, Scotch, Irish, Tennessee… to say nothing of single malts, blended, pot stilled, and all sorts of other means by which the general public comfortably distinguishes “families” of the spirit – Rum is still just rum in most eyes, and this enables Bacardi to dominate the industry from top to bottom, regardless of genuine sippability. That’s my theory-of-the-moment, anyways.

Bacardi named ‘Rum Master of the Year’ (gag me)

Bacardi named ‘Rum Master of the Year’ – The Shout, Hotel News, Liquor News, Bar + Club News.

Yup, it seems that according to “The Spirits Business” magazine, the honor of “Rum Master of the Year” should go to a rum that’s “an exceptional spirit with great mixability and a flavour that creates the best drinks and cocktails.” This, as opposed to a rum that’s, well, worth a damned as a rum. Continue reading

2009 Ministry of Rum Tasting Competition – Everybody Wins!!!

The Ministry of Rum just completed its 2009 Rum Tasting Competition, and the results are in – 41 gold medals, 17 silver, and and 5 bronze. Stiff competition indeed. Now, I wasn’t there, nor am I privy to the rules of the competion, but this sounds eerily close to the modern-day feelgoodery that outlaws dodgeball and awards every child a blue ribbon because we’re all special winners in our own special ways. Also, there is no mention of a single “loser” rum, so by all appearances bronze is as low as it goes.

So you’ll have to be the judge for yourselves – either the Ministry is a little too generous with its gold medals, or we truly are living in a golden age. Being as 3 of those golds were actually taken by Bacardi – one by Bacardi Select which I myself rated at only half a star – I’m inclined to believe the former to be more likely.

What is it with morons and Bacardi?

Parolee arrested after chase; bottle of rum unscathed : News : Redding Record Searchlight.

Actually, never mind. The answer is in the question – MORONS and Bacardi. Why do we never read about people arrested after stealing a rum actually worth stealing? Because those scalliwags have enough sense to not get caught. Unlike this dolt, who put a seatbelt on his ill-gotten rum prior to a police chase even as he failed to wear one himself. Anyone who values the safety of a Bacardi bottle more than their own is truly too dumb to live. Perhaps Bacardi should impliment an extra ingredient that promotes sterility – the world would be a better place.

Bottle of rum falls out of book bag in school

News: Bottle of rum falls out of book bag in school | bottle, student, rum : NWFDailynews.com.

I don’t support underage drinking in any way, shape or form. Young pirates would do best to stick to root beer, which is not only tasty, but is a great weapon against ghosts (as per Monkey Island canon.)

BUT… if you’re going to smuggle rum in your backpack – underage or not – don’t risk a court date over BACARDI. It’s just not worth it!!!

Review: Bacardi Select

Rating: ½☆☆☆☆
Bacardi Select
www.bacardi.com

Bacardi has long been at the forfront of rum, at least so far as nightclubs and bars are concerned. A staple of mixed drinks, I’ve long avoided drinking the stuff straight. But having explored rums far and wide, it seems high time I finally take a swig or two of what’s been readily available from day one.

I’m unclear which is meant to be Bacardi’s premiere sipping rum – either Bacardi Select or Bacardi Solera. For this review, I tried the Select. I bought a bottle, poured a glass, and gave a long overdue fair shake to this rum I’ve so long avoided. And the result?

C’mon, Bacardi. Is this really the best you can do? The largest existing distillery with the greatest resources at your disposal, loads of heritage beneath your wings, and you call this retch “Select”? Gosling’s Black Seal probably dumps better rum than this down the drain – and sells a better product for half the price. So do others, for that matter. Continue reading