Rum thief is jailed for 30 days | Bermuda Court

True, neither of these stories are as dopey as, say, the guy that strapped his Bacardi into a car seat for a high speed police chase (while neglecting to wear a seatbelt himself. But still, it’s a disturbing trend that threatens my beloved passtime of Bacardi-hatin’.

Law.com – Burn Victim’s Suit Goes Forward Against Bacardi Over Bartender’s Pyrotechnics

BACARDI Rum Wins Top Honor from World Renowned Spirits Institute Monde Selection® | Business Wire

Really, the problem here isn’t Bacardi, but the image of rum itself. Where the world of whiskey has Bourbon, Scotch, Irish, Tennessee… to say nothing of single malts, blended, pot stilled, and all sorts of other means by which the general public comfortably distinguishes “families” of the spirit – Rum is still just rum in most eyes, and this enables Bacardi to dominate the industry from top to bottom, regardless of genuine sippability. That’s my theory-of-the-moment, anyways.

Seriously, from the title I was initially worried the police would soon be knocking on my door. But then I read the story and realized I was safe, as forensic evidence would NEVER link me to a Bacardi-related crime.

Yup, it seems that according to “The Spirits Business” magazine, the honor of “Rum Master of the Year” should go to a rum that’s “an exceptional spirit with great mixability and a flavour that creates the best drinks and cocktails.” This, as opposed to a rum that’s, well, worth a damned as a rum.

If the award was “Rum Sales of the Year,” I could maybe understand, there’s no question that Bacardi is wildly huge and successful. But so’s McDonalds, and I don’t see anyone calling them the true masters of the hamburger – unless, of course, they’ve never tasted an actual hamburger and therefore believe a Big Mac is what a true hamburger tastes like. Maybe the folks at Spirits Business are in a similar boat and have never tasted real rum. Poor sots.

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Oh joy, there are more articles out there, including BACARDI — World’s Most Awarded Rum — Tops 300 Awards, which mentions that, “Milestone achievement comes as The New York Times proclaims BACARDI® 8 as ‘the ring of true rum authority’.” Bleh. Although I can’t say it’s a surprise that the New York Times is crewed by lubbers.

So you’ll have to be the judge for yourselves – either the Ministry is a little too generous with its gold medals, or we truly are living in a golden age. Being as 3 of those golds were actually taken by Bacardi – one by Bacardi Select which I myself rated at only half a star - I’m inclined to believe the former to be more likely.

Actually, never mind. The answer is in the question – MORONS and Bacardi. Why do we never read about people arrested after stealing a rum actually worth stealing? Because those scalliwags have enough sense to not get caught. Unlike this dolt, who put a seatbelt on his ill-gotten rum prior to a police chase even as he failed to wear one himself. Anyone who values the safety of a Bacardi bottle more than their own is truly too dumb to live. Perhaps Bacardi should impliment an extra ingredient that promotes sterility – the world would be a better place.

I don’t support underage drinking in any way, shape or form. Young pirates would do best to stick to root beer, which is not only tasty, but is a great weapon against ghosts (as per Monkey Island canon.)

BUT… if you’re going to smuggle rum in your backpack – underage or not – don’t risk a court date over BACARDI. It’s just not worth it!!!

Bacardi has long been at the forfront of rum, at least so far as nightclubs and bars are concerned. A staple of mixed drinks, I’ve long avoided drinking the stuff straight. But having explored rums far and wide, it seems high time I finally take a swig or two of what’s been readily available from day one.

I’m unclear which is meant to be Bacardi’s premiere sipping rum – either Bacardi Select or Bacardi Solera. For this review, I tried the Select. I bought a bottle, poured a glass, and gave a long overdue fair shake to this rum I’ve so long avoided. And the result?

C’mon, Bacardi. Is this really the best you can do? The largest existing distillery with the greatest resources at your disposal, loads of heritage beneath your wings, and you call this retch “Select”? Gosling’s Black Seal probably dumps better rum than this down the drain – and sells a better product for half the price. So do others, for that matter.

To the nose, Bacardi Select is sickeningly sweet – more like cough medicine than anything one would willingly ingest. Beneath the sweetness is a hint of bananas, along with other varied over-ripe fruits and berries. The taste is similar, being what a milkshake would be like, were it made from molasses, and whatever fruits had turned brown on your shelves. It’s an experience that screams “imenant hangover” with the first sip.

For those that have difficulty reading between the lines, I did not care for Bacardi Select Rum. Each sip caused my nose to twitch to one side, and not in a good way. I have never held Bacardi Rum in high regard, and their “Select” rum has only reenforced this opinion.