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Check it all out at southernpiratefestival.com. They haven’t posted a full entertainment schedule yet, but trust me, last year’s was well worth the effort of attending!

I’m super-psyched for this upcoming event – truly one like no other. Fans of Rustmoster already know that this band is one of extremely diverse creativity and coolness, so you can only imagine what sort of magic happens when they dress up in furry suits and perform Journey cover songs (you don’t have to imagine – check out the video.) And when they invited me out to help them perform Young Sea Officer’s Sheet Anchor on stage? Really, how could I say no? Actually I said no. Twice. But then they learned some dark secrets from my past and threatened to go to the tabloids. And so now I’m going to Salt Lake City – who’s with me?

Saturday morning concluded with a parade and pirate battle. This is a shot of Team Edward facing off against Team Jacob. It was messy.

While the St. Augustine Pirate Gathering is itself a two day festival held in a park just off-side from the historic district, things began semi-officially on Friday evening with a pub crawl through the taverns of the Spanish Quarter. I arrived just in time, but neglected to grab my camera and therefore don’t have pictures of the hordes of pirate-garbed crawlers. It’s a shame, too, because the sheer mass of pirates defies words, and indeed seemed to go on forever – a couple of hundred scoundrels, I would venture. I tagged along to the first bar, which was woefully unprepared for such an influx of pirates, although they did their level best. So too did the bar’s distinctly non-pirate singer, who made every effort to start throwing some “yarrrs” into his songs, much to the delight of his new, heavily armed audience. It was shaping up to be a fine start to the weekend, but being as I’d only just arrived I opted to cut my own participation short and call it a night.

Saturday morning saw the festival grounds fully decorated, and vendors making their last minute preparations. As the Festival DJ, I was stationed near the entrance so as to keep the pirate tunes flowing throughout the day. I did, however, manage to sneak away now and then (otherwise, how could I talk about the festival, eh?) The grounds were primarily taken up by vendors. A few were friends I’ve known from other festivals – No Quarter Given was there, promoting their new book The Book of Pirates. Tiger Lee of Hot Pirate Babes and Pirate Fashions N Fotos was selling garb and calendars, along with his lovely associate Caribbean Pearl. And then we had Robin St. Graves of “Acts of Piracy” selling his own swords, belt buckles, and other piratey bronzework. There were also many other vendors, with goods ranging from tropical signage to pirate and colonial miscellany (telescopes, keys, dining ware, etc.) The shopping was actually quite decent, and whether you were looking to get a start on a properly historical pirate ensemble, or to acquire a new leather cat-o-nine tails, there was plenty to choose from.

Before you criticize these nuns for smoking cigarettes, bear in mind it's only because they'd run out of cigars.

The far end of the festival held the beer tent, with entertainment throughout the day by The Brigands, Rusty Cutlass, and Nun for the Road (that’s right, a comedy group of singing nuns.) Nuns don’t often come to mind when I think of likely pirate entertainment, but in a town with such strong Spanish-Catholic roots as St. Augustine they seemed remarkably appropriate. The beer tent was also the location of the festival’s costume contests, raffles, and other goings on. However, entertainment could also be found elsewhere on the grounds, with Faire Wynds wowing the crowd with everything from magic to “singing” wine glasses, and For Love or Money bringing their sea music to any and every corner of the festival now and again. There were also performers from Pirates Dinner Adventure, who not only brought their skills at entertaining crowds, but also their own mobile pirate ship (actually, several folks brought their own ships to this festival. Why don’t *I* have a pirate ship on wheels to take with me? Oh yeah, I’m in Wisconsin ) And I’d be remiss if I didn’t also mention the festival’s “surprise” entertainer, Skip Henderson, who popped in unexpectedly, ready to share his classic sea shanties everywhere from the No Quarter Given booth to my own DJ booth – definitely an unexpected treat.

The crew from Pirates Dinner Adventure strut their stuff from the deck of their mobile pirate ship. Yeah, most ships are mobile, but this one travels on land. Like a land boat. Yar.

Saturday’s crowds started slowly, but quickly picked up numbers as noon rolled around, and the festival spent the better part of the day truly bustling. Saturday evening, however, saw the public depart and make way for the Buccaneer’s Bash, thus allowing us pirates to be amongst our own. Dinner was catered, and although some last-minute difficulties saw it be a little later than expected, the meal of pork, corn, and potatoes seemed quite appropriate for a bunch of hungry pirates. Entertainment was again provided by The Brigands, who were finally able to let loose some of their ‘A’ material (meaning not family appropriate), along with Nun For the Road. Also in attendance was the St. Augustine Royal Family who, as I understand it, can indeed trace their roots to Spanish nobility. They were scheduled to give out Letters of Marque that night, but I somehow missed this part of the festivities – maybe I was too deep in my cups at that point, or maybe it happened before I arrived. Either way, I missed it, and therefore can assure my dear readers that I have NOT been granted a letter of Marque, and am indeed still a free and independent pirate

The Bash concluded with more music from the Brigands, and some increasingly raucous dancing amongst the brethren. At the Bash’s conclusion, several of us swung by Tiger Lee’s Pirate Fashons Shop/Studio for a quick tour (a definite MUST SEE if you’re in the area), and then on to the pirate encampment a short walk away where the debauchery continued ’til the wee hours.

There was plenty to drink aboard the Black Raven, but not much to eat. Caribbean Pearl remembered her zombie training though and feasted on Spike's BRAINS.

Sunday the festival began much like Saturday had, albeit with most pirates boasting a little less spring in their step. The sunny weather and fresh-faced patrons soon wiped away any option of napping the day away, though, and before long things were again in full swing. Sunday afternoon things wound down, with several of the vendors packing up a bit earlier than would seem proper, getting ready to bug out at the festival’s conclusion. However, thanks to Captain Mayhem of The Black Raven, hardcore pirate enthusiasts had the chance to make one last go of things with an evening pirate cruise. Mayhem, Blackbeard and company played host to the mostly pirate audience (with a few civilians who seemed unsure of being so wildly outnumbered), entertaining us with magic, jokes, songs, and frequent encouragement to visit the bar. It was an excellent way to conclude the weekend, and if they make the cruise an annual event I’d highly encourage any and all pirates to join in.

The St. Augustine Pirate Gathering definitely has a good thing going. They have incredibly support from local pirates, a great location, and some fine entertainment. I had a great time DJing the entrance, which was the first time I’d been used in such an ongoing, “background” sort of capacity, but thanks to frequent visitors from listeners the days really flew by. And the evenings – well, those are the parts of any festival that make it truly worthwhile for the diehard pirates, and the Gathering provided three very memorable evenings all in a row!

See you there!

The Brigands, surprisingly, CAN do a family friendly show (when properly bribed).

The beautiful thing about hosting a pirate festival at a museum is that it’s already largely predecorated. Actually, that only works if it’s the right sort of museum – Burlingame Museum of Pez Memorabilia, for example, might be a poor fit. But the National Civil War Naval Museum provided a splendid backdrop for 2010 Southern Pirate Festival, which their website accurately described as “One Day of Family Fun & History” followed by “One Night of Debauchery.” Truly, something for everyone!

This festival had monkeys! Seriously, monkeys!!!

While performers, reenactors, and other participants in the festival began to filter in (and hit the rum) throughout Friday night, The Southern Pirate Festival this year was constrained to a single day. Beginning gently on Saturday morning, patrons were quickly drawn to the vast assortment of goings on in the field behind the museum (indeed, those of us inside saw nary a soul for this first while.) The outside of the museum consisted of a pirate encampment complete with weapons demonstrations, historical education, and of course vendors selling everything from swords to mugs to Hot Pirate Babe Calendars (available for purchase directly from calendar photographer Tiger Lee and the lovely Caribbean Pearl.) Cannon’s were also fired sporadically, which surely woke up any sleeping populace for miles around (Civil war cannons being a good deal larger than the smaller, Golden Age many of us are accustomed to.) There were also a couple of pirate invasions, which I sadly missed as I was distracted elsewhere, largely with my DJ duties inside the museum.

For those unaware, the Civil War Museum isn’t so much a collection of displayed goodies as a recreation of the era’s dockside experience. Indeed, one entire room is meant to recreate exactly that – a civil war dock complete with water, sky, and a docked battleship. And while the ship in question is an 1800′s ironside rather than a 1700′s trimasted spanish galleon, it would be the poor sport that saw fit to complain. Other parts of the museum mimic the belowdecks of a ship – crew quarters, captain cabin and the like. And then, of course, is the main stage which bears a striking resemblance to the deck of the USS Monitor – my home for much of the day (family fun) and evening (debauchery).

Billy Bones instructing a younker on how to strike a piratey pose.

Festival entertainment could be found throughout the day on the main stage, as well as an outdoor stage on the festival grounds and other select locations within the museum. The Brigands cranked out several shows, sharing a quasi-period, irreverent take on pirate and shanty tunes. Willoughby Caught took what on the surface seemed a gentler approach, although careful listeners would be aware that her music isn’t always as tame as it might appear on the surface. Billy Bone’s Pirate School was a new one by me – but his witty banter and easy way on the stage made him an instant hit with the children and their parents alike.

The Undead Buccaneer's Ball had many a spooky pirate. And booze.

The daytime activities were plenty fun, but as is often the case, it was in the evening that the public bowed out, and the pirates could properly party amongst themselves. The Undead Buccaneers Ball featured dinner, drinks, and dancing. The main stage was shared again by The Brigands, Willoughby Caught, and myself. The schedule was a bit overbooked and a tad chaotic, but everyone managed to have a great time, complete with costume contests, announcements and honors, and even some impromptu poetry from Billy Bones. I myself was able to play some extremely varied DJ sets, including a segment of pirate house paired against some more “traditional” pirate-core.

Willoughby Caught sings along to her own music while DJ Bilgemunky gets his groove on.

The Southern Pirate Festival was a fantastic day. Local public and pirates alike shouldn’t hesitate to attend next year. Long distance pirates would also do well to keep this one in their sites – the small vending area and one-day format might prove a bit small to justify a longer journey, but the right elements are all in place, and there’s already talk of expanding for 2011!

The con was held at the Mariott in Denver. A swanky enough hotel, with a surprisingly friendly and accomodating staff considering the nature of their unwashed tennants and convention goers. For the purpose of the con a wing of the hotel was reserved – vendors were lined up in the hallway making for a slightly cramped (but not overly so) shopping experience. Wares included many piratey odds and ends – jewelry, replica weapons, jolly-roger novelties, and so forth. Larger scale clothing items weren’t much represented, although one vendor did have some pretty swanky straw pirate hats (I forgot to get a card, but I’m mighty suspicious it was these folks.) The festivities opened at 12 p.m. (ish), with myelf and Captain Jack McCool providing some opening statements to put everyone in a piratey frame of mind (not that most needed any help with that.) Once the convention was started off proper, the afternoon became a blur of pirate activity. No fewer than 12 pirate forums/seminars were in the offering, with subjects ranging from pirate myths to lady pirate attire and voodoo. My own two forums, A Crew Full of Jacks: The Pros and Cons of Disney’s Influence on Pirate Culture and A Clean Pirate is a Sissy Pirate: Words of Wisdom Before Beating the Crap Out of Your Pirate Wardrobe went very well, although Crew Full of Jacks proved surprsingly shifty to stay on course (I should have brought a compass.)

For those in a less scholarly frame of mind, the Tortuga Tavern and adjoining activity room offered the chance to drink and hang out with fellow pirates, as well as participate in a trournament of Liar’s Dice and a shanty sing. Or for those wishing to truly veg, the ConSuite no only made available a host of munchies, but also various pirate films screening throughout the day.

A busy afternoon having come and gone, the evening was highlighted with the Undead Buccaneer Bash. Dinner was served in the hotel ballroom, featuring a selection of jerk chicken or mahi tuna, along with coconut rice and fried plantains (a very suitable meal for any pirate. ‘Cept the veggie pirates, I suppose. Lucky for them rum is vegan.) Entertainment was first provided by Mondragon, who’s celtic/folk music encompassed a healthy dose of maritime and drinking songs. Next up was Pandora Celtica, who took a somewhat more humorous, offbeat approach to their a cappella performance. These first two acts were very fun – a bit on the well polished, Ren-faire side of pirateyness, but still quite good. Third up was my own self at the DJ booth, bringing my best dose of whole-hearted “pirate” to the equation, entertaining requests for Alestorm, Pirates Charles, and a sizeable selection of pirate electonica dance. Widow’s Bane concluded the musical entertainment with their unique undead-hobo-folk songs – very few of which were overtly piratey, but certainly in keeping with the pirate (and of course, undead) spirit of the Bash. Aside from food and music, the Buccaneer Bash also featured a costume contest (with awards for general and undead pirates), as well as the conclusion of an all-day competion for the Convention’s King/Queen (the competion being comprised of soliciting donations for charity.)

BrethrenCon 2010 definitely made for a very compact day – my greatest complaint is that I couldn’t be in two (or three or four) places at once, as there was just so much going on (which is always a good sign.) While its single day format and mostly local musical talent might not yet make this convention the “must attend” event for pirates nationwide, I think it’s definitely one to watch. Colorado pirates should certainly rejoice at having such a fantastic convention at their own doorstep, while long distance pirates should pay close attention lest miss out on Denver’s transition into a new pirate haven.