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www.rumchata.com

Never, in all my years of reviewing rum, have I ever described a product as “thicker than milk, but thinner than a shake.” But then, I’ve never reviewed a rum cream before. Truth be told, there’s not that many of them on the market – only two or three to my knowledge. And of those I’d tried, they were good and all, but they were pretty much akin to Bailey’s Irish Cream, but made with rum.

Not so with RumChata – this is as different from Bailey’s as rum is from vodka. Yes it’s white, and yes it’s creamy. But RumChata boasts an assortment of smells and flavors that I’ve never before encountered in a rum (or booze-cream) product. The key here is the “chata,” being derived from Horchata. Horchata, for those that don’t know (I didn’t know) is a Mexican/Central American treat made from rice, and this connection is immediately apparent when you poor yourself a glass of RumChata. The smell of rice – think rice pudding, not that stuff you mix with Chinese takeout – is by far the most prominent flavor, both to the nose and the tongue alike. But there is more – rum, vanilla, and cinnamon are also apparent, as is a hint of coconut (which actually isn’t present at all, but it’s just a trick of the rice.) [read more »]

Brace yerselves, mates, for it’s the end of an era. For decades the spiced rum market has been dominated by one name – Captain Morgan (The REAL Morgan, by the way, was a poser pirate and a traitor to the cause. Plus he couldn’t sail for damn, so it’s fitting that sooner or later his namesake rum would be sunk.) Well, no longer – Kraken Rum is on the scene, and they stand ready to do some serious damage to their competitor’s market share. Why? Simple – Kraken Rum is the BEST RUM EVER.

Of course, I haven’t actually tried it yet. But check out the promotional package they sent me:

One bottle of Kraken Spiced Rum, one CD full of the Kraken’s tales, a hardbound book of stories, history, and recipes, genuine (likely fake) kraken ink and tooth, a wall chart showing the kraken’s enormous scale – even a personal letter addressed to their “Esteemed Colleague.” That’s right – *I’m* an esteemed colleague of Kraken Rum! I bet next Christmas they’ll even invite me over for dinner. And did I mention it was all in a custom Kraken box, sealed in wax? I mean, seriously, when’s the last time Captain Morgan, or any of those other wannabe spiced rums (I’m looking at you Sailor Jerry and Kilo Kai) ever sent me something this nice? The answer: NEVER.

Soon I’ll actually taste the rum. And then write a review. Until then, I remain confident in my statement that Kraken Rum is the best rum I ain’t never tasted. Oh, and don’t forget to check out their website.

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www.sideshowtoy.com

By all accounts, Blackbeard was a beast among men – towering over his contemporaries, and piratey to the core. Well, this new collectable figure from Sideshow Collectibles is no different. Standing at a whopping 19 inches, and with a scowl that could melt granite, this rendering of Blackbeard is truly the meanest, pirateyest thing to come across my desk in some time. Striking a “Captain Morgan” pose atop a demolished cannon (which he probably head-butted), Blackbeard stands poised for a moment to catch his breath between slaughterins. His blade is drenched in naval blood, while his enormous flintlock (actually, a doglock I believe) stands ready to bring a quick end to the next bloke that looks at him funny. All together, this statuette captures a moment of Blackbeard’s life that not only sums up his own legend, but pretty much defines the legend of Caribbean piracy in its entirity. [read more »]

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That one Treasure Island sequel should follow so quickly on the heels of another would seem strangely coincidental. Indeed, it seems almost yesterday that I was reviewing “Silver” by Edward Chupack, and yet here I am now reviewing “Flint and Silver” by John Drake. But in truth, the similarities between these two works are few and far between. Where Silver was a re-envisioning of the characters of Treasure Island, full of sinister murder, mind-bending cyphers, and dry villainy that intentionally lacked a devout “faithfulness” to its inspiration, Flint and Silver instead attempts to perfectly mesh with the expectations set by the original work and takes a more swashbuckling, lighthearted approach to material. It follows in the “boys adventure” spirit of Treasure Island, albeit from a slightly more grown-up perspective. [read more »]

Less than one week until the Northern California Pirate Festival! This is its third year, and if the previous two are any indication I can practically guarantee that this will be one of the best events of the year – The Pirates Charles, Skip Henderson, Roving Tars, The Seadogs… loads of great, piratey vendors (no aluminum siding sales, or renfair crap), and even one of the best fair-food selections I’ve ever seen (last year I think they had organic fish tacos or something like that.) And best of all? At Saturday night’s party yours truly will be DJing live! Hope to see loads and loads of you there!

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Genre: Celtic Pirate Punk
Rating: PG-13
Target Audience: Anyone looking for a modern Irish-punk spin on traditional and traditional-style shanties

I doubt it comes as a surprise to seasoned Bilgemunky.com readers that I have strong preferences with regards to pirate music. By and large, I want it, well, piratey. Meaning shameless, brazen, and loud. All too often sea shanties are performed in the folk-song manner of your Great Aunt Gertrude (meaning toothless and dry) – or worse yet, a kindergarten teacher just before nap-time. But it’s bands like The Dreadnoughts that show us why traditional sea shanties can still kick ass. [read more »]

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www.captjackspiratehats.com

Reviewing a Captain Jack’s Pirate Hat is always a treat. For one, it’s a safe bet I’ll be able to write a favorable review (certainly more fun than the alternative.) But also, it’s always a treat to bask in the details of the new hat in question. While nearly every hat by Captain Jack starts its life as a near identical round felt blank, and the initial structuring and weatherproofing (optional) remains reassuringly consistent; the variations in color, style, and accessories make for a mind-bogglingly diverse range of end-products. [read more »]

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Genre: Pirate Metal
Rating: PG
Target Audience: Pirate-Core fans, whether they’re metal fans or not

Alestorm’s Captain Morgan’s Revenge every bit appears the standard pirate metal album – the front cover features a skeletal demonic pirate screaming into the eye of a storm, while the back is emblazoned with an original jolly roger over a compass rose and crossed pistols. The packaging is definitely piratey. But as we know, the very nature of metal sometimes make for an album whose cover is the only thing that’s clearly piratey. All too often the typical thrasher growls and yells of “yarrr wahhhh grrrramoad!” could just as easily be “singing” of devil pigs as they might of pirates. This is the crux of pirate metal - but not so with Alestorm. [read more »]

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This may well be the greatest pirate book I’ve ever read.

My discovery of On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers was a strange one. First published 20 years ago, it’s largely flown under the radar amongst the pirate crowds. I’d never heard its name uttered amongst fellow enthusiasts swapping their favorite reads, I’d never heard murmurs of it being made into a movie, never saw it pop up as an Amazon.com recommendation – it’s honestly a miracle I discovered it at all.

It was while reading an old interview with Ron Gilbert – creator of the first two Monkey Island games – that I first learned of this book. The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride has largely been attributed as the inspiration for these brilliant games, but in this interview Gilbert indicated that it was actually the book On Stranger Tides that spurred the creation of Monkey Island. Now, the PotC rides were indeed key to my early love of pirates, and the Monkey Island Games were themselves key during my teenage years. So to learn that there might be a third part of this equation – well, I certainly had to check it out. [read more »]

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Genre: Pirate-themed gansta rap
Rating: R+
Target Audience: Immature adults

Where to begin when describing the wonderful oddity that is Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew? By all common sense, such an apparent novelty act should long ago have gone the way of the dodo. But the crew hit the ground with surprising momentum – their first pirate gangsta rap album, Authentic Pirate Hip Hop was a shameless joy to the ears. It seemed an impossible act to follow, and yet, a mere year later, follow it they did with Rimes of the Hip Hop Mariner. But rather than treating us to “more of the same” The Scurvy Crew expanded and developed their hip-hop pirate concept to make for an even better end product. And now, just one year since Rimes, the Scurvy Crew has struck again with their third album, From the Seas to the Streets. [read more »]