So here it is mates – the review you’ve come to look forward to this time each year. The temperatures may drop, the leaves may fall, and the breeze up your slops may have a bit more bite to it than you generally prefer. But at least we have one thing to look forward to – meeting the 12 pirate babes with whom we’ll be sharing the coming year.

If you’re like me (and I know you are) then you view this time with anticipation and trepidation alike. After all, it’s not every day we learn what sort of lasses will be staring at us from our wall for the next twelve months, and I already know I’ll like some more than others (which is always awkward.) Take 2008, for example. Calendar-wise I’d say it was a pretty good year, although I never could come to terms with Ms. July’s over-eager grin – I just *knew* she’d slipped something in that mug she was holding up. And Ms. September left me feeling mighty uncomfortable and fearful for 30 long days. May and June, however, could have gone on forever, for all I cared. But this is the crux of the Hot Pirate Babes – artist and photographer Tiger Lee has generously invested his year scouring the ends of the Earth to select for our enjoyment 12 pirate beauties – some being women of action, others of mystery, and still others of, well, you know. It’s like having your very own harem selected on your behalf by a guy you’ve never met. And being as tastes can so widely vary from one bloke to another, we can only hope he knows what he’s doing. So let’s take a look and find out…

To start with, if you’re already familiar with Hot Pirate Babes 2007 and 2008, then it should come as no surprise that 2009 again features a hot pirate babe each month posing against artistically enhanced backgrounds (some cynics might point out that the backgrounds aren’t the only things “enhanced”, but they’re just haters.) It’s a tried and true method, and one that we shouldn’t expect to see change any time soon, although Tiger Lee has thrown us a curveball in November with a pair of babes sharing a single month. But this small deviation aside, this new calendar remains true to its roots as a monthly tome of pirate hotness.

Moving on to the very important HPBFET, in which we explore the aggression levels of 2009′s Hot Pirate Babes compared to the Babes of years past, we do find some surprising shifts in course: 

For those of you who enjoy a fiesty lass who’d as soon split your gizzard as wink at you, you’re in luck. After a significant drop from ’07 to ’08 in the “Let’s Fight” category, 2009 sees a slight increase to 4 women who’ll likely seek to spill your guts during their month-long reign. “Let’s Party” has more or less maintained its ground, while ”Let’s Flirt” continues its slow but steady climb upward. And yet, the truly frisky lasses of “Let’s…” seem to have gone missing entirely. All this said, I should point out that the snarls of 2007 are still happily behind us. Rather, most of the “Let’s Fight” gals sport a more quietly sinister expression, which I find vastly preferable to the teeth-baring we’ve seen in the past. Indeed, many times the difference between “Let’s Fight” and “Let’s Flirt” is only noticeable by careful reading of the eyes. But don’t worry, I’m an expert in looking past the weapons in a woman’s hands to determine what’s actually on her mind – and I would never lead you astray.

Tooth-baring aside, there are still a few uneasy expressions in the bunch. June and September are both a bit awkward, and May seems to be in the midst of catching flies. But Ms. May makes up for this by sporting no more than a moderately sized belt covering her nethers, a fashion trend shared by her shipmates in January and August, who use mere sashes and baldrics to similar commendable effect.

The Hot Pirate Babes 2007 Calendar was a fine idea and an adequate final product. 2008 saw definite improvement in several respect regarding attire, poses, facial expressions, and overall artistry. 2009 looks to be quite on par with ’08. And while the aforementioned June, September, and May might lack a certain polish, these months are vastly counterbalanced by the likes January, February, August, October, November, and December, which are each fine examples of what – with the proper artistic direction - a Hot Pirate Babe can truly be.

As if the year wasn’t going by fast enough, it seems that 2008 calendars are now on the market. It’s a notion I find frightening, but at least the 2008 Hot Pirate Babes Calendar is here to give us a more inviting taste of what’s in store for the coming year.

I’ve previously reviewed the 2007 Hot Pirate Babes Calendar, and I’m pleased to note that 2008 will carry forth in the fine precedent set – that being one of hot babes (appropriately enough) gussied up in pirate gear and holding pirate accessories in pirate settings and striking pirate poses. It’s a simple enough formula (at least on paper), and one that works rather well.

By and large, my 2007 review could almost verbatum apply to 2008. Tiger Lee’s creative artistry with merging women and artificial backgrounds into a single glorious image remains true to form. The costumes vary from the fancy to the battle-hardened, and from cortesans to captains (albeit babe captains.) As to the calendar itself, it too follows in 2007′s style of parchement-like visuals, complimented by modern holidays, pirate fun-facts and “today in history” type segments.

Normally reviewing an item as being “more of the same” would seem lackluster, but in this case it’s the height of praise. But there is one small differences between the years that I feel worth noting, and that would pertain to the “death snarls” I thoroughly addressed in my 2007 review. In the previous calendar, several of the girls sported facial expressions that seemed rather warlike – appropriate to the “pirate” end of things, perhaps, but possibly not in tune with the “hot babes” element, and certainly not the sort of looks a guy might hope to receive from a hot pirate babe staring at him from his wall for the duration of a month. 2008 indeed seems on the friendlier side, but let’s be analitcal about this so as to stay truly unbiased:

While it should be noted that not all the “Let’s Fight” girls were snarling (some actually look quite delighted at the prospect of dishing out violence), it’s plain that 2007 ranks high in the bloodthirst department. Whereas 2007 hosts a full six babes in the “I’m feeling stabby” camp, and a mere four on the flirt end of the spectrum, 2008 has five flirts, and as a special bonus, three more babes who look ready to do a tad more than flirt. So if you enjoy checking out Pirate Babes that appear ready to spill your intestines across the deck, 2008 regretably won’t be your year. But for the rest of us, things are definitely in an upswing.

Speaking of whether 2008 will be your year (at least from a Hot Pirate Babes perspective), there is one other group that has been sacrificed for the greater good – the foot fetishists. Indeed, whereas 2007 was almost entirely composed of whole-body shots, feet and all, 2008′s models are zoomed in a bit more. This results in loss of those glorious boots and toes, but does enable a somewhat closer experience with the Babes’ more northern assets. Just so ya know

Little more need be said. I like pirates. And I like babes, the hotter the better. If you concur, then the 2008 Hot Pirate Babes Calendar may give you one less reason to cry like a little girl when you realize January will be on you before you know it.

* Mathematicians will notice the 2008 tally only adds up to 11 babes. This is because Ms. December (who also happens to be the cover girl pictured with this review) wasn’t counted, as she bears an expression that is beyond my ability to read. Lust? Anger? Sleepiness? Arbee’s? I count myself stumped, and would welcome reader’s thoughts.

How many times have a bunch of blokes been sitting together and come up with the brilliant notion, “hey, we should make a calendar of hot pirate babes!” Without a doubt, the idea has been tossed about many a time. But for some reason it wasn’t until 2007 that someone actually took the project to task. And thus was born Tiger Lee’s “Hot Pirate Babes Calendar”, being the ultimate in aptly titled products this side of the Grand Canyon.

Hot Pirate Babes features 12 months of seagoing beauties – each of them armed. And while most are somewhat under-dressed for combat, many nonetheless sport combative snarles that make it clear they have something other than amore on their minds. I mention this point because it’s a subject that draws wildly different reactions from different viewers. The calendar’s cover, in fact, features a buxom blonde firing her pistol and bearing her pearly whites in a manner that says anything but “come hither.” (Unless, of course, it’s “come hither so I may gut you like a spaniard.”) In my own experience scorned women have proven best avoided, and aren’t something I would normally opt to pin to my wall (we’re talking calendars, remember.) Some of my mates, however, have clearly differed on this subject, and expressed that a warlike countenance can be quite the turn-on.

Each to their own, I suppose. But for those of us who find angry women to be of lesser appeal to the more “amicable” variety, we have three convincing reasons to embrace Hot Pirate Babes just the same:

1) Within the calendar itself, only four girls actually feature a combative visage. Eight others appear much more inviting, leaving the odds clearly in favor of those who prefer friendly hot pirate babes.

2) I’ve had a sneak-peak at the 2008 photos, and not only has the general hotness been amped up, but so has the “come hitherness” (without the spaniard gutting qualifier, in this case.)

and 3) If you don’t like snarles, nobody’s forcing you to look at their faces.

This last point can not be overstated, as these 12 pirate babes are indeed quite hot. Dressed (somewhat) in period attire and posing in an array of stances that convey anything from “have some rum” to “prepare to die.” But the beauty of these photos goes beyond the ladies themselves – any lubber can snap a few shots of a hot babe (we call them stalkers), but it takes a man of extraordinary talent to create the perfect photograph, and then to morph it into a piece of genuine art.

Tiger Lee has developed an extensive process whereby he merges his pirate babes into exotic backdrops. But this is no cut&paste hackjob – lighting and textures are seamlessly melded, transforming each image into a genuine masterpiece. No longer a studio photograph, each month seems to stradle the line between photo and painting to be truly eye-catching.

Regarding the calendar itself, it too is piratey and fun. Printed on a parchement-inspired image, major holidays are marked, as are significant dates in pirate history, ads from various piratey sponsors, and pirate-related fun-facts.

Hot Pirate Babes was an instant hit within the pirate community, and it’s no mystery why. Hot pirate babes – digitally captured and brought to their full potential through Tiger Lee’s artistry, is a sure winning combination. The result is a stunning calendar that’s sure to enhance cabin bulkhead or cubicle wall alike.

Note: Looking to be your own hot pirate babe (or bloke)? Tiger Lee Studios offers custom pirate photography.