Looks fun enough, although I feel like this show was written by videogame designers – the floating islands, the view from the ship’s bow dodging islands… methinks a Jake and the Never Land Pirates Game is surely right around the corner.

Aside from watching (and apparently on some level participating in) Jake’s adventures, young fans of this show will also be jamming to the music of the Never Land Pirate Band:

What will probably be lost on them is an appreciation for the long, twisted path this band has taken to finally hit mainstream Disney. Kevin Hendrickson (the clean shaven one with the missing tooth) has been a trailblazer in modern pirate music for decades, and Loren Hoskens (bearded) has been entertaining kids and adults alike as “Captain Bogg” since long before Disney ever conceived of this show. And so, in celebration of their newfound Disney glory, here’s a video from 1999 of one of Hendrickson’s previous bands, the utterly brilliant Pirate Jenny:

And for one final musical treat, here’s Hendrickson and Hoskens together with Captain Bogg&Salty singing Pieces of 8ight:

Now if this hasn’t been a great way to start your week, there’s no hope for ya!

Pirates of the Caribbean Mickey Mouse Ear Hat

Actually, while I’m as fearful as I am hopeful about the new movie, I have nothing but warm-fuzzies that Disney will merchandise the hell out of it. I don’t care a squat about movie action figures and such, but hats, hoodies, and other miscellaneous goodies? Disney has had a pretty good track record in that regard, as this hat clearly demonstrates.

Disney cancels Pirates of the Caribbean: Armada of the Damned; Propaganda suffers layoffs

On the bright side, perhaps it’s a good sign. Curse of the Black Pearl was by far the best of the trilogy, and it was accompanied by a Disney that was afraid to market, merchandise, or monopolize on it in any way. Maybe if the suits at Disney are again feeling standoffish about pirates, it means the creative forces behind Stranger Tides will be free to do things right. Or maybe it just means we’re all being deprived a killer pirate video game.

A few years back, pirate musical legend Skip Henderson’s own music was featured in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. And now score two for the pirate community as Loren Hoskins and Kevin Hendrickson of Captain Bogg&Salty will be creating the music underscore for a new Disney TV animation, Jake and the Never Land Pirates. Hendrickson is of course a (if not THE) true pirate-core pioneer, and Hoskins is the incredible talent behind Captain Bogg himself. To see the two working on a pirate cartoon – JOY!!!

Oh, and Disney, since you’re hiring pirate folk of late you’ll be pleased to know that I’m available. I have no musical or artistic talent to speak of, but folks seem to like me anyways. Some folks.

Aye, so if you don’t have the nerve or wherewithall to become a pirate on your own, Disney is soon to be offering the wee ones pirate makeovers.

The First Mate Package at $49.95 plus tax includes:

• Bandana (reversible)
• Choice of Facial Effect look: Cursed Pirate, Captain Hook or Captain Jack
• Fake Teeth
• One (1) 5×7 picture

Empress Package at $49.95 plus tax includes:

• Bandana (reversible)
• Shimmering Makeup Makeover
• Face Gem
• Nail Polish
• One (1) 5×7 picture

Additional pirate costumes for this package are available for purchase at The Pirates League.

The Captains Package at $124.95 plus tax includes:

• Choice of pirate costume
• Choice of Facial Effect look: Cursed Pirate, Captain Hook or Captain Jack
• Fake Teeth
• Three (3) 5″ x 7″ pictures

Of course, all this is for wusses and posers – if you want your kids to be REAL pirates, then send’m my way. For a mere $999.99, they can attend Bilgemunky’s Intensive Pirate Crash Course Weekend. I’ll leave them out in the sun until they’re nice and burnt, deprive them of vitamin C so they lose a few teeth, teach them some colorful new words, and fill them with such a murderous hatred of Spaniards that they’ll go on a bloody rampage at the mere sight of a Taco Bell.

“Honestly, at this time it’s just a rumor.”

That sounds forboding to me. “At this time…” means that it’s not entirely a rumor. It hints that Disney and Zac Efron of High School Musical have been talking about bringing him aboard the PotC francise, and says to me that Disney is circulating these rumors to determine whether they lead to good buzz or bad buzz.

Efron is already part of the Disney family, as is Pirates of the Caribbean. Young kids probably love him, so naturally Disney would think they could use this to their marketing advantage. To me, this is exactly the sort of misguided demographic pandering that Disney is all too capable of. Never mind a script, never mind the creative process – just determine whether they can guss Efron up in pirate garb, slap the image on a pillowcase, and sell it to pre-teen girls.

Yes, so the news – only rumors and (misguided) wishful thinking to this point – is now official. According to multiple media sources, Pirates of the Caribbean 4 is now definitely in the works. Rather than linking a slobbering fanboy article I thought this one more appropriate: 10 helpful suggestion to ensure PotC 4 does not suck. Disney, we know, is capable of great things – great successes, and great failures alike. And being as they clearly did some things very badly in the second two films I sincerely hope they’ve learned something from their mis-steps. But sadly, it’s difficult to convince myself that Disney is moving forward with PotC4 because they feel they actually have a new story worth telling, rather than simply trying dredge up a few more bucks from this franchise. Which is fine – I’ve no beef with capitolism. I do, however, have a beef with lame ass pirate movies.

“Walt Disney World has unveiled a rendering and a few details of some retheming and renovations in the works for Disney’s Caribbean Beach Resort — theming it after the hugely-popular Pirates of the Caribbean ride/movies/games franchise.”

I wanna go now! The picutre really says it all. And while the boat-shaped beds might be a little silly, I mean, C’mon!!! They just better have decent rum in the hotel bar (isn’t Disney known for it’s stellar liquor selections?)

Eyup, now you can be a privateer when playing Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean Online. Which I suppose means you can stop pillaging as you please in favor of only pillaging the enemies of the King, and also give him a cut of the profits. In exchange you get a nifty title – sounds great to me.

Let’s face it, most of us don’t live the sort of lives that allow us to indulge our love of piracy – we don’t own sloops with cannons, we can’t walk around our neighborhoods with swords strapped to our hips, and so on. This is where Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMO) are such a wonderful modern creation. For those not familiar with the concept, an MMO is essentially an online world where you create a character and do whatever it is you wish you could be doing in real life. For people like us, this usually means looting and pillaging.

Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean Online is a relatively young MMO – it’s only been live for a few months and is still growing and developing to best suit the desires of its players. In it, you create a pirate character – male or female – and customize their look to suit your tastes. The characters are a little cartoony, with the menfolk being rather burely and the girls leaning towards the cutesy, but this works well enough considering that the game itself is a bit fantastic and cartoony, rather than attempting to mimick reality outright.

Early game play is carefully guided by local non-player townsfolk, including some memorable faces from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Initial missions help you earn and learn the arts of cutlass, sailing, cannons, and pistols. It’s not long before the gameplay frees up, at which point you can continue on the main storyline quests (which get increasingly more difficult), but can also engage in ingame “extracurricular” activities to expand your skills and wealth. Things such as sailing and gambling can be done between yourself and ingame characters, but grow much more rewarding (and more fun) when you work alongside other players – real people you can interract with, learn from, chat with, etc. What you can’t do, noteably, is stab them and steal their money. This is a Disney game, after all, and Disney has made a great effort in keeping this game fun and safe for all, without sacrificing the piratey feel. There’s plenty of fighting, mind you, but you’re not allowed to shoot other humans (real or ingame), and cutlass attacks to foes merely result in the enemy falling down and dissappearing – no bloodshed involved. Of course, if the enemy bests you instead, you fall down and land in prison, being none the worse for wear except being “groggy” for a while, resulting in slowed reaction and health.

Pirates of the Caribbean Online is a very fun game, especially for newcomers to the MMO genre – or for folks who just don’t have the time to invest in a more involved MMO such as Pirates of the Burning Sea. It has surprisingly low hardware requirements compared to other MMOs, but PotC Online’s strength is also its curse – the simplicity of gameplay and missions makes it easy for all ages to enjoy, and doesn’t much penalize those who’s real world time commitments only allow them to play in small doses. But more mature players who want a full emmersion experience may quickly grow bored – the world is small, consisting of only four real cities, and a dozen or so smaller locations. Also, missions can tend to get very repetative, with countless errand-boy style challenges that bear little that’s new from previously completed goals (if defeating 5 skeletons is fun for a 2nd level player, defeating 50 isn’t necessarily anything new for a 20th level.)

PotC Online’s weakness aside, the game remains fun and charming. If missions get old, there is still much to be said for logging on after a hard day at work and meeting your friends to shoot cannons at the Navy for a couple of hours. And the game developers are clearly working to expand the game’s variety and playability – new clothing, haircuts, and tattoos were just added as ingame features (previously you were stuck with the look you chose at the beginning), and interviews have implied that new locations and missions are currently in the works.