Brace yerselves, mates, for it’s the end of an era. For decades the spiced rum market has been dominated by one name – Captain Morgan (The REAL Morgan, by the way, was a poser pirate and a traitor to the cause. Plus he couldn’t sail for damn, so it’s fitting that sooner or later his namesake rum would be sunk.) Well, no longer – Kraken Rum is on the scene, and they stand ready to do some serious damage to their competitor’s market share. Why? Simple – Kraken Rum is the BEST RUM EVER.

Of course, I haven’t actually tried it yet. But check out the promotional package they sent me:

One bottle of Kraken Spiced Rum, one CD full of the Kraken’s tales, a hardbound book of stories, history, and recipes, genuine (likely fake) kraken ink and tooth, a wall chart showing the kraken’s enormous scale – even a personal letter addressed to their “Esteemed Colleague.” That’s right – *I’m* an esteemed colleague of Kraken Rum! I bet next Christmas they’ll even invite me over for dinner. And did I mention it was all in a custom Kraken box, sealed in wax? I mean, seriously, when’s the last time Captain Morgan, or any of those other wannabe spiced rums (I’m looking at you Sailor Jerry and Kilo Kai) ever sent me something this nice? The answer: NEVER.

Soon I’ll actually taste the rum. And then write a review. Until then, I remain confident in my statement that Kraken Rum is the best rum I ain’t never tasted. Oh, and don’t forget to check out their website.