Bilgemunky.com » rootjack

Gentleman Pirate Strikes Again

Bilge — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 20:52:41 +0000

Kennedy Curse, Scurvy, RootJack Rootbeer – it all makes sense now.

“Ask the Gentleman Pirate…”

Bilge — Thu, 27 May 2010 13:27:45 +0000

Win stuff! Free stuff! Stuff that prevents scurvy!!!

Rootjack and Pirates, Vikings & Knights (oh my!)

Bilge — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:46:30 +0000

I’ve never played Half Life 2, and such is the depth of my shame. Actually, I don’t even know what Half Life is – I assume it’s a game about radioactive mutants. BUT, it’s also a game that can be modded, meaning other themes can be layered atop the game engine to make for something quite different – in this cast Pirates vs. Knights vs. Vikings. It’s just become an official Steam Mod, so now at last you can logon to a game as a pirate and kick some knight butt, or kick some butt of vikings (who are, afterall, an unholy crossbreed between the two.)

1st person view of a pirate about to wipe the walls with a viking. Or maybe it's a werewolf.

But that’s not the most exciting part – heck no. What’s really innovative about this game is their official partnership with real-world pirate beverage RootJack (read the review)- the only rootbeer that’s proven to prevent scurvy (I’ve been drinking it for months and haven’t gotten scurvy yet, so what further proof do you need.) Indeed, inside the game you’ll spy RootJack bottles and logos throughout, but don’t let them distract you from dishing the pain to the knights and vikings, because then they’d get the better of us, and we can’t have that.

Bottles of RootJack are everywhere, taunting you as you die of thirst and scurvy. So you better order some actual bottles to help you through these trying times lest you go berserk - and that's best left to those snotty vikings.

Free Shipping on RootJack (Today Only!)

Bilge — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:56:19 +0000

I wouldn’t normally post about a Cyber-Monday deal, but Rootjack (the exceptionally piratey rootbeer) is dreadfully hard to come by in local stores, so shipping is really the only way. And since shipping these days is so dreadfully expensive, FREE SHIPPING on the piratey-est rootbeer around would seem news worth sharing. You can order RootJack from ThinkGeek.com. Enter the code CYBERMONDAY for orders over $25 to qualify for free shipping!

Oh, and if you don’t already know about RootJack, check out our review.

Review: RootJack

Bilge — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 13:47:04 +0000

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
www.rootjack.com

It’s a well-accepted fact that root beer is the most piratey of all non-alcoholic beverages. If this is news to you, then you really need to play The Secret of Monkey Island to further your piratey education. If you’ve already played Monkey Island but still dispute root beer’s soft-drink dominance over all piratedom, then you’re not as smart as I’d hoped (and likely not as good looking, either.)

RootJack is a new pirate energy drink from Voodoo Elixirs. Essentially orange flavored root beer with extra caffeine and guarana, RootJack makes no claims at fighting ghosts (again, see Monkey Island) – it does, however, fight scurvy thanks to a full day’s supply of vitamin C. So long, puffy gums, so long bleeding sores – RootJack makes it all better, and tastes pretty good alongside.

Actually, I’m surprised that it took someone this long to release a pirate energy drink, but I’m glad that RootJack is the brand that rose to the occasion. Served in bottles – as all proper root beer should, the label bears a pirate lass sitting astride a cannon in a common Freudian pose. As to the root beer itself, it’s indeed very good – tasty and smooth, although the addition of orange does require a little getting used to – myself having rarely mixed rootbeer with anything except vanilla ice cream. Speaking of which, the RootJack website offers a whole variety of mixing suggestions to help add even more spice (and in most cases, alcohol) to your RootJack experience. Based on the ingredients available in an old box in my basement, I gave a try at the Banana Hammock Rootjack Hammock, which was RootJack mixed with banana liqueur and coconut rum. The result was a fine summer drink, although entirely deceptive (so be careful drinking if you’ve got a ship to steer home afterwards.)

RootJack’s only shortcoming for me is a very slight undertone that seemed slightly chemically, but not quite. At first I thought it might be one of those lab-based sweeteners, but from the ingredients I don’t think that the case. As someone who doesn’t drink many energy drinks (and those I do being so tart as to conceal any and all undertones), my best guess is that the guarana seed extract is the culprit in this unfamiliar mystery taste.

This little extra aside, RootJack is definitely a fine beverage, and I look forward to trying many of their other recommended recipes – which leads us to the larger dilemma of where to purchase the stuff. This far, RootJack is available at select locations in Indiana and Illinois (how do ya like that – for once the Midwest gets something first!) Hopefully distribution will spread quickly, as many a pirate will be wanting to get their grubby paws on this stuff.