That’s right – Michael Crighton, famous for sci-fi novels about cloned dinosaurs and pschotic diamond-hording apes, is now publishing a pirate novel – “Pirate Latitudes.” Or rather, being as Crighton passed away last month, I suppose his estate is publishing it. Regardless – new pirate novel on the horizon, and thanks to Red Beard for bringing it to my attention!

The majority of the story takes place in England, in the years just prior to the full breakout of World War 2. Nick and his younger sister, Kate, reside with their parents on Greybeard Island – a quaint, sleepy sort of community that’s also full of history, reefs, and shipwrecks – and also happens to be strategically useful to the growing Nazi threat. It’s troubling times, made all the more so by the political bickering in Parliament regarding what to do about the impending danger, or if such danger even exists at all.

The suspense and stress of this pre-war environment as seen through the eyes of young Nick makes for a gripping narrative, and could very well have become a tale in and of itself. But Bell then throws a curve ball when Nick discovers an antique chest washed up on the beach – antique in construct, anyways, but in all other senses appearing brand new. That the chest is enscribed with Nick’s own name only adds to the mystery, as do the dangerous-seeming strangers Nick later meets who seem strangely determined to acquire said chest for themselves.

Nick of Time is a layer of mysteries with each clue leading to the next in an increasingly thickened plot. Boyhood daydreaming leads to genuine wartime espionage, which in turn leads an even greater adventure as Nick discovers that he himself possesses a rare piece of antiquity – Leonardo Da Vinci’s solution to time travel.

This story is a fantasy, surely, but one that is so grounded in real-world events that the reader begins to wonder how time-travel could possibly play a role without seeming entirely out of sorts. And yet, again, Bell pulls it off with surprising believability. And in this way, Nick of Time becomes two interwoven adventures in one – the first being of Nazi’s, top secret maritime vessels, and pre-war politics, and the second of naval battles in the age of sail. A tale of Admiral Nelson’s own navy. And, of course, a tale of pirates. Pirates who themselves posses a key to time travel, and who’ve used it in some of the most cowardly means possible to profit accordingly.

Nick of Time is a brilliant read. Where many children’s stories actually take place in a children’s sort of simplistic world, Nick resides in the real world, more or less, chock full of all the dangers, dissappointments, unfairness, and other unfortunate realities that are a part of everyday live life. In this way, despite some of its unlikely occurances, Nick of Time remains a story that feels true, as if it could have happened to any of us, had fate seen fit to make it so.

Highly recommended.

In the Time of Worms
by Kenelm Winslow Harris
www.inthetimeofworms.com

This will be a difficult book to review. This is because most book reviews have roughly two primary elements – the first where you talk about what the book is about, and the second where you say whether it’s any good or not. It’s the first element – effectively summarizing what the book is about – that proves problematic.

If I summarize In the Time of Worms, it will sound like a simplistic fairy tale. You’ll probably roll your eyes as I talk about this story of a psychiatrist who learns there’s a band of pirates living in his closet. See? It sounds silly. But that’s only because within this review I lack the space or the talent to recreate this tale with the same compelling artistry of Ken Harris, the book’s author. But I’ll give it a shot, just the same.

Max Blessing has recently moved to a sleepy New England town (not too far from where I grew up, in fact – how’s that for a Bilgemunky fun-fact?). And yes, he discovers pirates living in his closet. Well, sort of – the actual truth of the matter is that his closet is connected to something of a time portal, which leads to a series of caves, which are inhabited by pirates. Clear now?

Actually, you shouldn’t be clear, as this book is something of a mystery – and I don’t wish to divulge more than I should. But in unraveling this mystery for yourself, you’ll find that this seemingly rediculous situation is handled with great care by the author and the characters within the tale, making the implausible seem just this side of possible. As an added bonus, several of the pirates are treated to fascinating yet diverse background stories, fleshing out these characters with just enough seasoning to make you wish they each had a novel in themselves. Were this a truly thorough review, I would tell you more. But this book is about the journey and the discovery, and I’d rather not spoil the fun.

Having finished reading In the Time of Worms, I can’t say I’m sure where it was meant to lead, as it all feels like the beginning of a larger tale, rather than a complete story on its own. But whether Harris has more in store, or if he simply intended to plant a seed in the readers’ imaginations and let us each draw our own conclusions, it’s nonetheless a fascinating read, and well worth checking out.

In the Time of Worms has a supplimental website. Like your typical episode of Lost, it has only a snippet or two of hard data, padded with loads of oddities with no real answers. Time will tell whether it’s just a teaser, or if there’s a larger master plan in the works (I’m banking on the latter.)

Note: In the Time of Worms is due for national release in April 2007. Until then, autographed copies can be ordered through www.inthetimeofworms.com.

The Adventures of Short Stubbly Brownbeard begins brilliantly odd and piratey, and ends the same. And in the middle – it’s still wonderfully odd, although the piratey elements tend to waver a bit. The reason is simple – while the tale begins in the Caribbean, and smack in the middle of the golden age of piracy, the adventure soon carries us to the far reaches of the galaxy, where cats talk and baseball players (or the galactic equivelant) are worshipped as demigods and duly appointed to public office.

Brownbeard is the cousin of the famous pirate Blackbeard. He sets off from his accounting job to be a pirate of his own, and soon finds himself meeting with gremlins and aliens, and eating all sorts of weird things. Author Alan J. Levine has a strange sense of humor, reveling in the dryly ridiculous, while also enjoying a good pun or two. Sometimes it’s hilarious, sometimes it’s just weird. But it’s always unexpected, and generally quite entertaining. The book is at its best when Blackbeard makes his appearances, while it wavers a bit when Levine indulges his apparent love of unusual word combinations (the “arrival of effluent-of-sweet-rose-and-Chinese-lemon-chicken-and-matzah-ball-soup”, for example.) But mostly, it’s just entertainingly strange. Piracy is mostly a side-issue, frequently tucked behind the more prominent interstellar travels. But this creates a platform form some wonderful wit – Levine’s humor is at its very best when making dry observations about otherwise absurd situations – a character’s sudden concern when attempting to rescue enslaved dogs by feeding them enchanted chocolate chip cookies (after all, Brownbeard points out – doggies are allergic to chocolate) is so wonderfully odd that one can’t help but smile.

The Adventures of Short Stubbly Brownbeard is delighfully deranged, if not always piratey. It would be a fine read for those who find humor in the ludicrous. And while I’m not certain if it was intended specifically for younger audiences, it would likely be particuarly suited for adolescent readers.

I have a rule – I review pirate books, and ONLY pirate books. There are loads of nautical, naval, and otherwise maritime books out there. Many of them are very, very good. But this is a pirate site, and I review pirate books.

And so now I’m breaking this rule by reviewing The Two-Space War. Why? A couple of reasons. First off, it’s a wonderful book that you might well never hear about otherwise, so I consider it my duty to help spread the word. And secondly, it has monkeys in it. Lots and lots of space monkeys.

The Two-Space War is a combination of things that should generally never be combined – Napoleonic naval warfare, space exploration, and Tolkein-inspired races (elves, dwarves, etc.) But in the hands of authors Dave Grossman and Leo Frankowski, these varied elements begin to feel surprisingly natural. The basic premise is that mankind has begun to travel the galaxy by accessing the second demension, or Two-Space. Far from being Star Trek gobbledeegook, the concept of removing the Z-axis from our ordinarily XYZ, three demensional, existence would necessarily have the effect of bringing things closer together – a planet might be a thousand lightyears “above you” while being only a few miles to your right – crushing the galaxy flat would certainly bring you much closer to such a destination.

In this book, traveling through Two-Space does have its quirks. Chief amongst them is that the environment is corrosive to technology. Computers, engines, and even automatic weapons become useless in a matter of hours. And so the races have learned to travel through the flat seas of Two-Space using methods long since considered obsolete – with wooden ships, powered by sails and protected by muskets and cannons. This throwback technology has also spurred a throwback culture, or retro-culture, whereby people shun innovation and instead look to tradition and ancient literature for guidance. It could all sound very gimmicky, except that the authors have stayed so consistent within their premise that the concept of sailors traveling through this techno-destructive world seems as natural as gravity and television do in the real life.

The story begins with Leuitenant Melville, a fairly fresh and unproven officer in the Westerness Navy, finding himself crash-landed on a new planet and suddenly in charge of a crew of humans, with a dwarf and elf serving alongside. And then the alien monkeys attack – and that’s when this book quickly shows its utter brilliance. Sailors armed with 19th century technology, allied with dwarves and elves, and defending their crashed space-ship against ravenous alien monkeys is a completely bizarre – and easily ludicrous – concept. But the authors, one of whom has experience training elite military troops, approach this unique situation with calm, measured analysis, sharing a wealth of battle-tested insight on combat strategy, psychology, and even physiology. This matter-of-fact approach to military matters suitably counter-balances the more fantastic aspects such as elves and space monkeys, and makes for an entertaining – and surprisingly educational – read.

It’s shortly into this first battle that a second group of smaller space monkeys join the fray, fighting alongside our heroes in a shared contempt of the larger brutes. Following victory, these new monkeys find their way amongst the crew, playing pivitol roles in much that is to come.

This book is not about pirates. Pirates aren’t even mentioned until page 181, and then only in passing. But this book does have proper masted ships, and – as stated – space monkeys. However, in the final chapters the story itself seems that it’s only just getting started, as though this were the beginning of a series. Many questions remain unanswered. Perhaps the authors are intending to write sequels*, or perhaps wrapping up the storyline into a neat, complete package was never their intention to begin with. Indeed, rather than forcing the plot forward throughout the novel, the authors instead opted to provide great details into the world they created, and even moreso into the inhabitants of said world. Details of the Westerness “retro-culture” is shared in abundance, with much insight into the scholar-warrior mentality that shows an incredible respect for intellect and might alike. And that says nothing of the abundance of strategic exposition, ranging from hilltops to barroms. I never thought I could read a book about dwarves and space monkeys, and then afterwards feel like I’ve learned a bit of what it’s like to serve in the special forces. But that’s exactly the impression it left. I only hope I can remember the lessons in The Two-Space War the next time I’m barricaded in a bar while Elves try to take me hostage. If so, my mates and I just might survive the enounter.

*The sequel for this book, Guns of Two-Space, is available as an electronic copy starting October 2007. Purchase a DRM free download.
https://www.webscription.net/p-648-the-guns-of-two-space.aspx