Much like the Department of Naval Intelligence, I’ve been aware of the Brotherhood of Oceanic Mercenaries (B.O.O.M.) for some time – mainly in that yes, a crew called the B.O.O.M. Pirates exists, that they do most of said existing out in the Pacific Northwest, and that they boast some pretty classy pirate garb. But having not yet done any piratin’ myself in that region it was a great treat to finally get a copy of their CD to experience first hand what they’ve been up to from a musical perspective.

Prepare to be Boarded is the B.O.O.M.’s first album and features 15 tracks, ten of which are traditional, four covers, and one original to the Brotherhood. Most all the songs are performed in a traditionalish, festival manner, complete in many cases with brief opening scenarios. Haule Away Joe, for example, starts with the clear sounds of grumpy pirates hauling lines before the song itself kicks off. When it does, the lyrics of this traditional song come in crisp and strong, accompanied by a slow drumbeat and increasing backup vocals. It’s a fine, steady rendition of this classic – not quite as rough or salty as some renditions, but easily a joy to listen to.

The next several tracks: All for Me Grog, Drunken Sailor, Nelson’t Blood, and Down Among the Dead Men are also traditional, and largely continue in the precedent set by the opening song, with brief scenarios (often the sounds of a pirate pub) followed by clear vocals and a small variety of instruments ranging from guitars to fiddles, and with clear, powerful vocals. Drunken Sailor does stand out in that it features female lead vocals, which lends a bit more credibility to the song than usual (in that it’s easier to believe that women are actually being critical of the drunken sailor, as opposed to when men sing it and are probably at least as drunk as the drunken sailor in question.) Away Santianno also features female lead vocals, with the lyrics modified to suit – again a nice touch, as it always bothers me when I hear a woman’s voice singing – for example “When I was a little boy my mother often told me” – as happens from time to time.

Next up is Boom Shiver Me Timbers – a very fun, slightly haunting song very reminiscent of Mary Poppin’s Chim Chim Cherree. I originally thought this was a piratey version of that very song, although The B.O.O.M. educated me when they explained that it was indeed original, and that the, “inspiration came from many French waltzes and Gypsy tunes that inspired us (which Chim Chim Cherree is also based on.)”

Maid on the Shore is another decent traditional piece, while Scallywagg is a fine cover of the Captain Bogg & Salty classic. Deux Voyages takes a new approach as it’s largely sung in French. It comes in smoothly with guitars and a gypsy swagger beat, and the French vocals make for a nice change of pace (although I keep expecting to see pirate contortionists hovering on the ceiling, as the musical style and French vocals conjure memories of Cirque Du Soleil.)

Smooth is a stark departure from the traditional pace of this album, and a definite delight. The acoustic guitars and drums make incredible use of the stereo medium (especially with high quality speakers), and the fast paced vocals tell a piratey tale with a 90′s Alternative flair that may well be a pirate first. Mingulay Boat Song then returns us to the familiar waters of the traditional, while It’s Another Day has a nice inspirational tone about it. The album concludes with Shanty of the Bells, being a piratey version of Carol of the Bells. Generally I prefer original pirate Christmas songs rather than parodies, but you can’t deny the catchiness of “Yar yar yar yar, yar yar yar yar” (sorry – it doesn’t translate well into text. Buy the album and you can hear it proper.)

Prepare to be Boarded stands solid as a competent pirate shanty album. The opening scenarios get a little tedious after the first listen (I prefer to just get to the music), but the songs themselves are certainly first rate. If you’re looking for a first pirate-shanty album, this is certainly a fine place to start. Collectors might find B.O.O.M.’s versions of the “usual” songs (All For Me Grog, Drunken Sailor, so on…) to be a bit too standard-issue to stand apart from the hordes of other bands covering the same, but this is counter-balanced by many new (or at least lesser known) songs such as Boom Shiver Me Timbers, Scallywagg, Deux Voyages, Smooth, etc. The end product is an album that should be a fine addition for the new or seasoned pirate music enthusiast alike.

Genre: Faire music, nautical and otherwise
Rating: PG-13
Target Audience: Grown ups, mostly

Marooned is an album (and a band) that has a morbidly bizarre sense of humor. It’s (mostly) G-Rated, yet remains a CD largely about death, bastards, and booze. The oddness begins right away with Companion, an a cappella song (as is the entire album) that sounds gentle and friendly. The lead vocals are personable and very human, and the backup vocals are soft yet solid. As to the lyrics? Well, that’s when you start to realize that this seemingly harmless song is actually a bundle of peer-pressure, strongly indicating that the singers will only be your friend if you drink lots (and lots, and lots.)

And therein lies the unlikely beauty of it all – much of Marooned seems tame… until you look closer. Henry My Son makes similar strides as it too sounds like a fairly standard folk song. But again, the edge is found in the lyrics – this time about a real bastard on his deathbed (apparently due to no more than a headache) as he sings of his last will and testament. Whether it’s the debt he leaves his children or the noose he leaves his sweetheart, it’s clear that this is one bloke you’re happier having never met. Bloody Well Dead then continues with words of how grand it is to finally be dead, while When I Was Single is a maiden’s tale of why she sticks with her deadbeat husband.

Mixed in amongst all the morbidity are a few traditional shanties, such as Haul Away Joe, Rolling Down to Old Maui, and the Black Belvet Band. Competently performed, each of them, although I do feel the recording comes off a little on the flat side.

Concluding the album is a song that’s certainly not traditional, although it does have firm roots in scripture – Constipated Men illustrates how many firgures from Biblical lore had difficulties making number two (Noah, for example, passed only water for forty days and nights.) Not terribly piratey, and just a tad heretical. But disturbingly catchy, and I have caught myself singing it to myself in the shower.

Marooned isn’t exactly a must-have album for pirate-enthusiasts, as swashbuckling references are fairly few and far-between. But folks who adore faire music, and especially those who take grim delight in dark humor (you know who you are) would do well to give this album a spin.

Genre: Pirate-themed faire music
Rating: PG-13
Target Audience: Grown ups, mostly

By and large, the vast majority of festival pirate music centers around traditional songs. This gives rise to two common problems:

1) Much of it starts to sound the same

and 2) Being as few traditional songs were actually about pirates, there’s often little to differentiate “pirate” music from other festival-driven sea shanties, Irish fighting songs, or bawdy ballads.

In Cannon, Cutlass, and Curves, pirate festival veterans The Jolly Rogers handily trounce these issues with an album that’s almost entirely original compositions. Their songs are fun, irreverent, and yes indeed – piratey. Final tally, in fact, shows no less than an impressive seven songs truly, entirely about pirates. Five more are dedicated to the Jolly Rogers less-than-innocent appreciation of the fairer sex, two more about drinking, and four additional tunes not of pirate, wench, or booze persuasion (although two remain distinctly nautical.)

The album begins with Black Jack Slim’s Cutthroat Inn, a catchy, energized song inviting several notable pirates from history to come have a drink. It’s shamelessly piratey, and a fine start to this album with its strong presence and prominent use of vocals and guitar. Next up is the traditional Haul Away to Botony Bay, a song of Australian servitude as sung by criminals (not exactly piratey, but close enough, I’ll wager.)

Curvy Girls is one of the Jolly Rogers’ signature lady-centric songs – in this case a tribute to “real” women, complete with all the curves and shapes the Jolly Rogers so clearly appreciate. The Fight, however, is a stark return to true pirate music – full of piss and vinegar, this is a song of buccaneering braggadocio, and not one to be missed. Seven Days to Paradise is again a song of feminine-appreciation, in this case the kind you pay for (read that as dockside Barbadian prostitutes.)

Mutiny, while it doesn’t specifically state such, appears a slow and soulful song recounting the tale of the mutiny on the HMS Bounty. The reduced pace of the song doesn’t perfectly mesh with the occasional exclamations of “mutiny!”, but this song otherwise carries a somber, foreboding tone that’s a joy to hear. Cap’n's Keg, on the other hand, is the sailor’s version of a drunken barn dance with it’s twangy flavor and jiggy pace. The lyrics are light and fun, making for a decent if not exactly benchmark song. Wicked, conversely, strikes all the right chords – slow and sad, it’s a song of Henry Every’s exploits recounting his rise to captaincy through his legendary capture of the wealthy Moghul ship, Ganj-I-Sawai.

Goin’ Back to the Sea is an amusing song regarding how hard it is to keep gainful employment ashore, especially for a lad with an affinity for the lady customers. It’s full of innuendo, and a fine example of the Jolly Rogers’ love of not-quite-dirty (or conversely, not-exactly-clean) sea songs.

The Song of a Ship might be considered the most respectable song of the lot, being as it’s the only one here that doesn’t involve women, booze, or violence. Too bad, because it’s actually a very good song – but without the women, booze, or violence, what’s a pirate to do? Up Boys Up presents no such quandary, as it’s clearly a song of young pirate boys serving as ship lookouts. Strong and adventuresome, it’s another excellent addition to the album’s healthy offering of original pirate songs.

The Ladies all Loved Me is the CDs second song of braggadocio, but in this case it’s regarding each pirates physical, er, assets. Or prowess, depending on the nature of each’s gift. It’s a fun, witty, “clean” song featuring innuendo as dirty as it gets. Tap That Cask, however, features no innuendo (despite what you might expect from the title.) Simply an energized song of anticipation of drinking time, this would be one of the few sideline songs of the album – decent, but not really special enough to warrant any particular mention.

Isle of Brest is a marked change in musical style for the Jolly Rogers with its uniquely tropical sound. It’s also another song of innuendo (say Isle of Brest aloud a few times and you’ll guess it’s nature soon enough.) Pirate Boys also boasts a different sound from the rest of the album, as it lacks the guitar featured so effectively throughout the rest of the songs. It’s a decent piece, but the a’capella, combined with a slightly silly temperament, makes it sound a bit more “faireish” than the rest of the album. We Want, however, is a bold, powerful return to the true musical piratey that’s so prominently featured throughout Cannon, Cutlass, and Curves. Utilizing strong acoustic guitar and excellent lyrics about the expectations pirates demand life to deliver, it’s an excellent conclusion to the swashbuckler aspects of this CD. However, two more songs do remain – Wild Gypsy Girl and HMH2 (Horror Movie Hero 2). Both of these final songs are exceptional in their own rights, although they don’t feel like a natural part of this particular album – Wild Gypsy Girl being rather lovey-dovey and twirly for a band that doesn’t exactly seem at home with subjects such as “devotion” or “committment” regarding their love of the female species, and HMH2 a 50′s drive-in style song about kicking monsters butts and killing vampires – great, great fun, but an odd fit.

The final two songs aside, Cannon, Cutlass and Curves is a brilliant pirate album. At worst the songs are decent, and at best they’re outright glorious – and in a one-for-one count, the glorious handily trump the merely decent. A certain must-have for pirate music fans.

Genre: Traditional and traditional inspired sea shanteys.
Rating: PG
Target Audience: Grown ups, mostly

Let’s be honest – when I reviewed Skip Henderson’s first pirate album, Billy Bones & Other Ditties, I wasn’t exactly charitable. Featuring about 3 decent pirate songs, 1 drop-dead brilliant one, and 13 or so ho-hum ditties, I actually expressed a level of frustration that the sheer genius of the title track, Billy Bones, wasn’t reflected throughout more of the album.

Well, I can assure you that it’s quite the load off my mind that I can this time write a much more enthusiastic review – and no charity needed. Poet & Pirate Overtures begins good and strong, ends somber and haunting, and makes for an enjoyable and varied journey between the two.

Poet & Pirate Overtures features many noteworthy tracks – some piratey, some not. But it begins entirely in a piratey manner… well, sort of. Port of Holy Peter doesn’t directly address pirates, but it does feature a dark tone and dark subject matter regarding slit throats, sea slime, criminals, and all sorts of other unpleasant business. Pirates will surely feel right at home. And what’s more, despite being based on a poem from 1918, it’s somehow eluded other pirate bands, and therefore isn’t a song that seasoned pirate music fans will have already heard a dozen times – old yet new, and a joy to hear.

Also a joy to hear are the album’s many other piratey tracks. Drake’s Drum begins with a march-like guitar strum while Skip’s distinctive salty voice supplies lyrics that provide a snapshot glimpse into Sir Francis Drake’s psychy. As was Holy Peter, this is based on an old poem, but one that’s been somehow overlooked by the scores of other piratically-inclined musicians out there, thus leaving it ripe for Skip Henderson to claim as his own. Drake’s Drum is slow and measured, with lyrics that require some deciphering to properly follow. But understandable or not, it conveys an enjoyably piratey demeanor throughout.

Henry Martin is again a song that’s been around for many a year, although unlike Holy Peter and Drake’s Drum, this one has been well covered by many a pirate band. But for all the times I’ve heard it, it’s never really grabbed my attention. Skip Henderson’s crew, however, has managed to add a unique quality. Through rustic, creepified, and slightly – but effectively – “off” sounding instrumentals, this rendition is something I could only describe as Burtonesqe – it’s easy to envision claymation skeletons playing this song (and yes, that is a compliment in this case.)

A Ballad of John Silver carries forward in this same instrumental quality as it tells the tale of shameless debauchery – splattered brains share center stage with hornpipes and dancing. It’s an odd song of sadistic humor in true pirate fashion.

Return of Billy Bones is the final pirate song of the album and – as one may expect – is something of a sequel to Billy Bones from the previous album. But where the orignal song was wry and sinister, this one is somewhat more worn and nostalgic. It’s the story of a pirate that’s outlived his time, with his mates and enemies long gone. Sad and somber, it’s also beautiful and likely to bring a tear to the eye of even the most jaded of brutes.

While the Poet & Pirate Overtures’ above mentioned pirate offerings are – to me – the album highlights, it also features many non-pirate – albeit certainly nautical – songs as well. Some even feature pirate-friendly subject matter, as in Will Watch the Bold Smuggler and Fineen O’Driscoll, the Rover. While the personalites of each seem a bit up-beat and friendly for pirate music, Will Watch does nicely feature booming cannons in accompaniment, while the distinctly non-piratey Cruise of the Calabar in contrast sings of disaster at sea. It’s enjoyably performed, and piratey or no, it has a nicely calloused sense of humor that makes it good company amongst the more overtly swashbuckling ilk.

However, there are some songs on the album that just don’t make for pirate tunes, no matter how you cut them. Capitol Ship is spunky and folky, while The Water is Wide is just too poetic and heart-felt. A beautiful, lovely listen, certainly – but I doubt Blackbeard would take notice. Paddy Doyle’s Boots, however, sounds as though the entire band was smashed when they sang the thing – and nothing meshes better with pirates than drunken singing.

The Poet & Pirate Overtures is a fine album – much of it is decent shanties and folk songs, but it also features a fine offering of several truly unique pirate songs. That so many of them are derived from seldom visited pirate poems from the past hundred or so years only makes them all the more intriguing.

Genre: Traditional styled “tavern” music
Rating: G
Target Audience: Fans of folk-oriented pirate music

In a world full of festival pirate music, pirate-core music, and pirate parody music (and we love you all), it does seem it’s sometimes hard to find “real” pirate music. These would be tunes performed in the traditional style of dockside taverns, complete with old-fashioned instruments and vocals supplied by voices that were likely yelling “heave the jib to” or “I’ll gut ya like a Spaniard” earlier that same afternoon. But with their new album, affectionately titled “Pirate Scum”, this is exactly what The Brigands brings to the table.

Pirate Scum features a mix of instrumental and vocalized tracks – 8 of the first, and 6 of the second. This alone makes The Brigands stand out, as true piratey intstrumentals are sometimes hard to come by outside of movie soundtracks. On this album, the majority of the instrumentals would qualify as “peppy jigs” – energetic and suitable to bar room dancing or fighting alike. The Little Gale, however, stands out as a more dramatic achievement. It begins like a battle march, with slow drums and a repeating single, deep guitar strum. But then the fiddles join in to add an element of energy – but in this case the energy has a clear danger about it. All the instrumental pieces on Pirate Scum are good, but The Little Gale is on a level of its own – its deeper tones create a sense of forboding even as the fiddles make it clear the pot is already boiling over.

The album’s first vocal track is The Mariner’s Compass is Grog – a title which I must wholeheartedly embrace. The song itself if quite good – slow and affectionate, the singer clarifies just how important grog is to the average swab. Grand Pubs of Yorkshire is also a tributary song, but in this case about the – well, the title sort of makes that clear. Essentially an extended toast in in song form, it strongly embodies the destinctive “real tavern” sound of The Brigands – not polished, but rather crusty and authentic.

On most of this album, the earthiness of The Brigands is an asset to the music. But on Shiver My Timbers, it just doesn’t hold up. Disjointed and awkward, this track is rather hard on the ears. The rushed pace of the performance doesn’t help either. Hanging Johnny, on the other hand, takes its time and makes the most of its rustic appeal. Multiple instruments join a strong yet scratchy voice to make a song that carries an authenticity about it while also remaining an enjoyable listen.

Topman and the Afterguard is easily the most unusual track of the album. The vocals are intentionally distant, and accompanied only by one, single note held steadily throughout. These elements combine for an almost otherworldly effect, and make this both an enjoyable and strangely intriguing song.

The Juice of the Barley closes out the album. More of a silly performance than others on the track, it contains several ad-lib jokes and tangential comments between the lead singer and other performers. It’s likely very amusing live, but on a CD I find this sort of thing distracting.

Summed up, Pirate Scum is a well composed album for anyone seeking “real” tavern music – instrumental or otherwise. Most of it is quite good, and while there are a couple of duds in the mix, there are also a couple stars to help keep the balance.

Genre: Traditional and traditional-style sea shanteys
Rating: PG
Target Audience: Grownups, older kids, and especially fans of Bounding Main’s live shows

As an entertainment group, Bounding main is essentially a coin with two sides. On the one, we have Bounding Main the live performers – exceptionally talented singers with a clear rapport with their audience, and more than a little tendency towards joking and goofing around. Bounding Main’s shows are generally defined by fun over perfection, where errors and surprises (for audience and performers alike) make each show wonderfully unique. And on the other side we have Bounding Main the recording artists, where the beauty of the vocals and a mastery of the stereo medium have seen the traditional sea shanty evolve into true music, rather than mere lumbering work songs.

In their live performances, Bounding Main often shines best when their songs are fun. On their CDs, however, they shine when the songs are drop dead gorgeous. With their latest album, Going Overboard, Bounding Main attempts to bridge this gap with fun, frequently light-hearted songs that work well live and also work well on CD. It does, however, convey a slightly different flavor that their previous two albums.

Songs such as South Australia, Johnny Come Down the Hilo, and Fire Maringo are peppy and well performed, but not as awe-inspiring as similar songs from their earlier works. Haul Away Joe, for example, has never been a favorite of mine, but on the Bounding Main album Lost at Sea they made this song absolutely glow. Fire Maringo has a similar feel, but comes across as a bit lackluster in comparison. It’s good – just not great. Other songs take a slower approach, which Bounding Main often translates into higher emotional kick. But as with the previously mentioned songs, Fareweel Tae Tarwathie, Ocean Liner, and Leaving of Liverpool don’t quite rise to the level of earlier recordings. Easy on the ears and very pretty, but not quite beautiful and awe-inspiring.

This aside, Going Overboard does have a couple of shining tracks. Blow Liza Blow is amazingly strong – and I can personally vouch that seeing it performed live it’s even more so. Jaw-dropping, is the phrase. Golden Vanity is also a small triumph, although surprisingly so. A very upbeat version of this song, background vocals are used musically to create sounds that are almost goofy, but so skillfully performed that they can’t help but impress.

In many ways, this would seem an album best suited for Bounding Main fans. Not only because fans are certain to enjoy this album’s many fine – if not quite brilliant – songs, but also because Going Overboard features a couple live tracks with prominent audience participation. The Old Dun Cow is a definite favorite at Bounding Main shows, and the bonus track of Drunken Sailor even boasts audience members offering their own lines. Great fun, and a sure treat for anyone who enjoys Bounding Main live.

The last two songs that bear mention aren’t live, but conjure the live show just the same in that they heavily reference the Bounding Main members themselves. Toss & Roll and Pass the Mug are fine examples of the band’s self-deprecating humor as they poke fun at everything from their own lack of navigational skills to weak stomachs. Both songs also involve some fun vocal work and are amongst the catchier songs on the album.

Bounding Main’s previous albums set and exceptionally high bar, and this latest doesn’t quite measure up the same standards. However, if judged purely on its own merit, Going Overboard remains a very fun, well performed CD of mostly traditional songs performed with a bit more musical flare than is normally associated with the genre.

Genre: Traditional and traditional-styled origninal pirate tunes.
Rating: PG
Target Audience: Late teens to early retirement

Down Among the Dead Men – the first album by Pirates of New Providence – hits the ground running with its initial track, Fire Maringo. Being a traditional song, I’ve heard it performed before, and have never really given it much thought. But the Pirates of New Providence make it a tough song to dismiss. Strong, clear vocals are complimented by solid drums to immediately command attention. Soon the backup vocals and what I believe to be a tamborine also join in to play with the softer and higher notes. All told, it’s a commanding opener, and one that illustrates the truth that sometimes an old song can be made new again through sheer strength of the performance.

The “newness” of old songs has weighed on my mind of late. As the availabilty to competently performed traditional sea songs expands at a seeming exponential rate, I find that it’s becoming increasingly rare to hear a rendition of any traditional tune that truly stands out from the herd. This is why, upon first finding a CD such as “Down Among the Dead Men”, where every song is traditional, I’m at once curious and fearful. A strong first track, such as is Fire Maringo, is a comforting start, but can the entire album hold up?

Dead Man’s Chest – the album’s second track – lays the groundwork for the rest of the album. The various elements remain clear, with vocals (this time female) and drums ringing loud and true. On their own, its a formula that would lead to an album of decent pirate tunes, but not exactly memorable or groundbreaking. But the Pirates of New Providence are trickier than I’d have expected, and throw in a factor that to my knowledge is entirely unheard of in the world of pirate music: a harp.

When first I heard the plucking of harp strings to the tune of Dead Man’s Chest, my eyes nearly popped from my skull – and I don’t exaggerate. Harps would seem well placed in a king’s court, but when I think of the grungy world of pirates, a harp seems as out of place as would Frasier and Niles Crane on Barbossa’s Crew. So how does it fit in musically? At this point, I wasn’t sure.

Hills of Connemara lacks the new harp element, but has no shortage of instruments. Guitar, harmonica, and I can’t even say what else all join in to make for an energized song with an excellent sound about it. Down Among the Dead Men – the album’s title track – brings that harp right back, though. Again, strong female vocals, drums, and yes – a harp – all combine to do a traditional song in a traditional manner that feels anything but traditional. At this point, I was starting to suspect that the inclusion of the harp just might be an unlikely stroke of genius.

The next several tracks, Haul Away Joe, Rosen the Beau, and Sam’s Gone Away, don’t prominently feature harp work, and therefore feel more akin to the traditional songs one would expect. Strength and clarity remain defining features throughout, though, and the consistently high quality of the recording make each song a delight to hear. Captain Kidd, sees the harp’s return, and this time even includes the strumming scales that would seem more at home in a fairy tale movie than a pirate song. And yet, as a package it works surprisingly well, and makes for one of the most unique Captain Kidd versions I’ve experienced.

The album’s final three songs, Nancy Whiskey, One for the Morning Glory, and Parting Glass, all follow in the tradition set by the previous tracks. Very well done, and with a variety of instrumentals from penny whistles and guitars to flutes (another not-quite-piratey instrument) and ukuleles.One for the Morning Glory is a little sing-songy for my taste, but otherwise these three songs work well to conclude a fine album.

Down Among the Dead Men was my first introduction to the work of Pirates of New Providence, and listening to this album was indeed a small adventure in its own right. Generally speaking, the strong clarity of the vocals and instrumental make this the sort of album that can be experienced as well as merely listened to – a good stereo system or set of high-end headphones make this the sort of music into which you can literally immerse yourself. This alone would make for a worthwhile album, but it’s their daring use of such non-piratey, not-exactly-masculine instruments such as the harp (and to a lesser degree the flute) that make for a truly original CD.

Genre: A Capella traditional and faire-style pirate songs.
Rating: PG-13
Target Audience: Late teens to early retirement

How do you define courage? There are many ways – far more than I care to get into at this time. But if I were truly put to task to come up with a single, all-encompassing definition, it might include four gentlemen singling “Bell Bottom Trousers” in the first person. Hearing their manly voices belt out lyrics regarding “he layed me on the bed until my blue eyes turned to brown” is both amusing and off-setting. An odd, odd creative choice, and in this way, quite memorable and worthwhile.

On their album The Recruiter… Free Rum Ain’t Free, the Whiskey Bards venture forth more than once into gender-bending fields, although “Bell Bottom Trousers” is by far their boldest effort. However, lest you think this album is a tome of cross-dressing daintiness, let me set the record straight. Not only will you find many traditional favorites – all sung in an easy-on-the-ears, lyrical manner, and (with exception of “Bell Bottom Trousers”) appropriately gendered. Included are Henry Martin, Fireship, The Derelict, and several more. But as anyone who’s familiar with the Whiskey Bards knows, it’s their original work that truly stands out.

We begin with the album’s titular track, “The Recruiter… Free Rum Ain’t Free”, being a cautionary tale told in a somewhat more lighthearted manner than one might expect, even delving into the upsides of getting shanghai’d to sea. As with many of their songs, the various singers are well varied in character – of particular note is the Scottish accent of one of the singers, which leads a period-appropriate yet humorous quality to many of these bits. “Great to be a Pirate” comes next, also of the light-hearted variety, which is enjoyably in contrast with the lyrics that repeadedly wind up at the gallows. “Devilish Mary” is an energetic yet oh-so-sinister song about a woman scorned (these never end well – at least not for the one who didst the scorning.)

“Drunken Billy” and “Smoother Waters” are two more enjoyable original tracks that also follow in the Whiskey Bards fun-loving vein, but “Pirate Lullaby” sees them depart from their typical upbeat nature to take a more somber approach. It’s a lovely song, and the soft, deep tone it follows plays remarkably well. “Life of a Privateer” marks a return to their usual approach, being a lively song about serving various nations in times of war. I could complain that the final cannon blast of this song sounds more like a toilet flushing, but I won’t because it amuses me. The album’s final song, appropriately titled “Final Journey” is again slower, more poetic piece, and very good indeed.

The majority of The Recruiter… Free Rum Ain’t Free is sung a capella, with some occasional guitar work thrown in for good measure. From beginning to end it provides a highly enjoyable listen. For the most part the vocal quality is on the friendly side, lacking the graveliness that often suits the pirate medium so well, and as a result the album can sound somewhat “harmless” upon first listen. But I found it quickly grew on me, especially as I listened more directly to the lyrics. That said, I would make a point of recommending the Whiskey Bards non-pirate (but pirate-friendly) album Bottoms Up – being a much more risque project in which their “friendly” (and sometimes Scottish) voices are put to hilarious effect.

Genre: Traditional sea songs performed with a jazzy New Orleans flavor.
Rating: R
Target Audience: Grownups that still know how to curse, drink, and party

A few times each year, it seems, an album comes out of left field and absolutely blindsides me. Generally it’s from an outsider band (read that, not established as a pirate band), and usually they do something so novel that it makes for an absolutely unique, must-have album. The Valparaiso Men’s Chorus album Guano & Nitrates only came into my possession through the most unlikely of circumstances – I likely never would have found them on my own. And such would be the tragedy.

If one’s to believe the liner notes (and why wouldn’t you?), Guano & Nitrates spawned from little more than someone having recording equipment and beer lying around on the Monday after Thanksgiving. When the beer was gone and the tape had run out, Guano & Nitrates was the fruit that had sprung forth.

This album is entirely composed of traditional sea shanties. The likes of “Drunken Sailor”, “Blow the Man Down”, “Spanish Ladies” and such. Generally, a strictly traditional selection does not a remarkable album make, but the Valparaiso Men’s Chorus enacts several strokes of genius. The first, and most immediately noteable, is a definitive New Orleans party flair to their music. Acccordians and pennywhistles are utilized alongside trombones and sousaphones to make for a highly energized pace that at once is contageous and makes me crave gumbo. This element alone makes the album loads of fun, but the Chorus goes a step further by injecting yet another aspect that is often lacking from sea shanties – they swear like sailors, and they do so with a casual grace that leads the listener to believe they’ve been cussing their entire lives. The vocals are raw, real, and brilliant. What they lack in polish they make up for in piss and vinegar. Indeed, polish of any kind would only hinder the brilliance, and I’m very grateful they managed to sound as rough as they do.

Much of Guano & Nitrates is fast paced and high energy, but there are exceptions. “So Early in the Morning” sounds like a hangover song (the sort of hangover where you immediately reach for the hair of the dog that bit ya). “Spanish Ladies” and “Rio Grande” are as close to ballads as the album has, yet remain as wonderfully edgy as any other song therein, while achieving some level of gentleness for a change of pace. And “Rosyanna” has a few wonderful nods to modern New Orleans, making reference to modern bars and goth girls alike.

Very few albums capture a proper drunken sailor attitude so effectively as does Guano & Nitrates. It walks that delicate line between musical and rough with near perfection, being both a joy to listen to alone, yet a blast to sing along to while completely sloshed out of your skull. I absolutely adore it.

Genre: Traditional
Rating: XXX
Target Audience: Adults with deviant minds

The album is titled “Salty Dick’s Uncensored Sailor Songs”, and never was a product more truly labeled. This CD is packed with 21 of the most offensive songs you’ll ever hear.

If you read that previous sentence and thought, “oh please, how bad can it be?”, then read no further – it’s that bad and worse. It’s so bad, in fact, that I can’t truly review it, because were I to do so then I would use all sorts of words that I’d rather not, and then Google would see those words and start sending droves of perverts to this site. These words include the F-word, the C-word, the other C-word, the T-word, the J-word, the P-word, and the W-word, all used in great abundance. So let me try to tiptoe around this…

Salty Dick’s Uncensored Sailor Songs is both spirited and raunchy – and it’s also a lot of fun. From songs about Christopher Columbus bung-holing his shipmate to sailor’s having naughty dreams and priests “playing doctor” with nuns – this album lives up to its promise in every sense of the word.

None of these songs were written for this album – they’re each culled from decades of legend and tradition. Fans of sea shanties will likely be familiar with the likes of Friggin’ in the Riggin’, The Crabfish, Bellbottom Trousers, and others. But others are less common, such as A-Hole Rules the Navy, Eff Them All, and the hilariously innappropriate Christopher Columbo. Throughout it all, Salty Dick’s voice is friendly and chipper, which makes the lyrics seem all the naughtier. The liner notes briefly, but clearly, cite the sources of these songs, which hail from the British, Canadian, and US navies, ranging from the 1700s to today.

This album is a treat of the naughtiest kind. Send the kids away, send away the easily offended, send away the not-so-easily offended, and then give it a spin. While listening to this tribute to a – generally ignored – piece of maritime history, you’ll almost certainly find yourself happily tapping your toes to the most explicit folk music imaginable. Which is just fine, until you come to the realization that your seagoing great-grandaddy likely sang these very songs. Then you’ll feel strange and disturbed.