Review: Folding Camp Stool

Rating: ★★★★★
Pirate Furniture Company

It was a warm spring eve when the first speck of daylight peaked out from behind the stormclouds what bombarded us throughfore the day. The landlocked crew was emerging from a long afternoon bunkered beneath the shelters, and most figured it was time to enjoy some grog beneath this small sliver of sunlight we was granted before nightfall. I myself was of like mind, and led the way to the makeshift bar that had been erected. But once the rum was poured, we realized the tragedy of our situation – we’d nowhere to rest ourselves. The ground was all but saturated, puddled and muddy, yet nary a chair was in view. And while pirates don’t think much of a little dirt, sitting in a pool of slimy muck is best left ta pigs and spaniards. One by one, the swabs around me resigned themselves ta standin while they drank, except for the remote few that just gave up and settled their flanks inta the muck beneath their toes. But as for me own self? I charted a different course. Continue reading

Review: Blackbeard’s Ghost

Rating: ★★★★½
Everyone knows Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow, and everyone knows (whether they know it or not) Robert Newton’s Long John Silver. But somewhere between these two signature pirates Disney gave us a third, lesser known, scalliwagg who nontheless deserves a place amongst the notable breathren, that being Peter Ustinov’s Captain Blackbeard.

In the 1968 film Blackbeard’s Ghost, we’re introduced to a somewhat softer, more rotund variant of the dread captain than we’re given to expect, but one that’s still as rumswilling and swaggerly as any before or since. The plot, in essence, is the ghost of Blackbeard discovers that he can be seen by only one person, that being the new track coach of the local college. Together, they get on each others’ nerves while trying to find a way to save Blackbeard’s descendents (a troupe of little old ladies who’ve turned his ship into a touristy bed&breakfast) from a bank forclosure. All told, it’s really pretty typical 60’s Disney fair Continue reading

Review: The Adventures of Long John Silver

Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Robert Newton has his fans, and it’s no wonder. His portrayal of Long John Silver in Disney’s Treasure Island did more to define the role of a “pirate” than any character before or since. True, Jack Sparrow has made a tremendous impact, and may be seen to surpass Long John as the true pirate stereotype in the years to come. But for now, Robert Newton is still the king.

With this in mind, one might expect the television series “The Adventures of Long John Silver” – all six episodes starring Robert Newton in his signature role – to be a true classic gem. And for Newton’s fans, it may well be. Each episode prominently features Newton retackling his interpretation of Silver with every bit of gusto he can muster – and this makes these shows worth watching. But each episode also features dreadfully predictable writing, cliche plot points (Long John saves the orphan’s Christmas??? Crikey!), and many scenes that are downright painful (The not-so-attractive Miss Purity flirting heavily with an even less attractive one-eared pirate is difficult to bear, to say the least.) Continue reading

Review: 10 Cane Rum

Rating: ★★★½☆

Though certainly the most enjoyable, rum reviews are also one of the toughest subjects I tackle. This isn’t always the case, but now and then I’m confronted with a factor that is unique to rum alone amongst all my reviews – it changes.

Actually, that’s not wholly accurate. True, being an agricultural product, one bottle of rum (despite sharing the same label) is not always identical to the next. This poses a challenge. But what’s more, *I* change as well. Whether it’s my ever-developing appreciation for the product, or simply alterations in the weather, the fact is I don’t always remain consistent in my opinions. What’s fantastic one day might fall a little flat the next. And so on.

Continue reading