Review: Pirate Code

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Pirate Code
by Helen Hollick

Having previously read and reviewed Sea Witch by Helen Hollick, I was looking forward to checking out its sequel, Pirate Code, which seems to begin mere moments after Sea Witch concluded. We immediately join up with the tale’s protagonists, pirate Jesemiah Acorne and his – well, girlfriend I suppose (being as they’re so devoted to one another, girlfriend seems too weak a term. But since she’s married to another, she really can’t be otherwise), the witch Tiola. Tiola and Jesemiah are well occupied dealing with the difficulties of Tiola’s husband, who refuses to grant a divorce – but this distraction is soon eclipsed by the larger issue of England going to war with Spain, followed by Governor Woodes Rogers’ revocation of pirate amnesties for the purpose of pressing all able seamen into service. Continue reading


So I’ve made it quite clear that I don’t care to bog down a fluffy pirate site with politics. But then the fine folks at Buccaneer: Pursuit of Infamy put together this little number, and it would seem a crime not to share it. I’m pretty sure that votes via their game don’t actually count towards the election, but these days you never know.

Click below to visit the game and help choose which candidate will walk the plank (notably missing is the “both” button, but oh well.)

Move over, pirates; here come the zombies – Portland News | Oregon Local News –

Move over, pirates; here come the zombies – Portland News | Oregon Local News –

OK, it’s just a fact that some loyal pirates are going to be wooed by steampunk and leave our salty fold – and why shouldn’t they? Steampunk is awesome, which is why it’s such a threat.

But zombies??? Come on now. Really. Leave us for steampunk and I can still respect you in the morning. Leave us for zombies and you’re dead to me. Not walking dead, just dead. Graveyard dead. Worms eating your tiny dead brain dead. Dead dead.

Piracy as a subculture is a quirky challenge. Zombies as a subculture is stupid. I have spoken, and it is so.

Review: “The Flare” Rum Tasting Glass

Rating: ★★★★☆

Let’s face it – for all our talk, for all our fancy clothes – we aren’t pirates. Oh, I’ve spent my share of time at sea, but I’ve never served time in a Turkish prison, never gutted a Spaniard, nor run off with the governor’s daughter. But I am true to piracy in at least one respect, and that’s via the rum. I drink the stuff – and not as some mixer in a froo-froo drink either. I drink it from a leather canteen at times, and a copper cup at others. But mostly I drink it from a small green goblet I found a garage sale.

I’ve been reviewing rum for some time. Over the years, I find that I’ve gotten much better and picking apart a rum and noticing its subtlties. This holds particularly true with smell. But one thing I’ve never paid much attention to was the shape of my glass. I know that wine buffs will say the glass makes all the difference, but those are wine drinkers – cocktail dandies who know even less about Spaniard gutting than I do. Why would I care what they think? Continue reading

Sadly, there might be something to this…

SFGate: Daily Dish : Efron Denies ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ Rumor.

“Honestly, at this time it’s just a rumor.”

That sounds forboding to me. “At this time…” means that it’s not entirely a rumor. It hints that Disney and Zac Efron of High School Musical have been talking about bringing him aboard the PotC francise, and says to me that Disney is circulating these rumors to determine whether they lead to good buzz or bad buzz.

Efron is already part of the Disney family, as is Pirates of the Caribbean. Young kids probably love him, so naturally Disney would think they could use this to their marketing advantage. To me, this is exactly the sort of misguided demographic pandering that Disney is all too capable of. Never mind a script, never mind the creative process – just determine whether they can guss Efron up in pirate garb, slap the image on a pillowcase, and sell it to pre-teen girls.

Review: English Harbour 5 Year

Rating: ★★★☆☆
English Harbour 5 Year rum boasts all the shelf qualities I enjoy – a short, squat bottle with a rustic label, nicely foiled cork, and general appearance that would like right at home in the hands of a pirate.

To the nose, English Harbour is light and fruity – I detected a distinct note of apples (something I’d not experienced since Old Havana Cuban rum.)  To the taste, it retains this fruitiness but also carries some warmth with just a slight tingle. The finish is soothing, relatively gentle, and sweet.

You might notice all the things I haven’t said about this rum – it’s not dark, not heavy, there is no brown sugarry musk or oak kick in the face to let you know your alive. It is in fact a very delicate rum. Meaning it lacks most all the qualities that I personally look for in rum. That said, it’s also rather decent. Continue reading

Review: Crusoe Premiere

Rating: ★★☆☆☆
So Crusoe premiered last week on NBC. I’d posted a review as written by some cynical yahoo – that was my assumption at least, having not seen the show yet myself. Now I have – and yeah, he was a bit of a yahoo. Two men being friends and living on an island together (hardly by choice, mind you) does not a gay duo make. And just because a pirate is a girl pirate does not make her a Keira Knightly wannabe.

BUT, that doesn’t mean this show was great, exactly. It would have been great – had it been broadcast in 1985. Crusoe’s gadgetry seems straight out of MacGuyver or the A-Team, especially when Crusoe and Friday start prepping for an upcoming invasion – I could hear the A-Team soundtrack in my head the whole time. Continue reading

ESR | October 20, 2008 | Which candidate would make the better pirate?

ESR | October 20, 2008 | Which candidate would make the better pirate?.

I link this story with some trepidation, as I do not want to open the door for polical debate – that’s just not the role of But this story, written by the author of Silver (recently reviewed), is just too appropriate to pass up.

Feel free to comment per usual, but be warned. Elections are important, but they’re also buried beneath craploads of crap, and I’m not going to tolerate any of that here. You wanna comment on which candidate would look better in an eyepatch? Go for it. You vehemently hate one of the candidates and want to use this opportunity as a platform to voice your politics beneath a thinly veiled effort at pirate humor? I will delete you comment, regardless of which side of the aisle you hail. You wish to calmly and eloquently explain why one candidate is better than the other? This too will be deleted – we get enough of that 24/7 every freakin’ where else. Just so you know.