Review: Rogue Spirits White

Rating: ★★½☆☆

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

I don’t generally take to white rums – and why would I? Dark rums, at best with their heady musk, oaky molassesy kick, and all-round manliness are pretty much nature’s perfect drink. White rums, on the other hand, are quite often flavorless, astringent, and at most suitable as mixers. But once in a while a decent white rum comes along, such as Rogue Spirits’ White.

The second half of their two-part line, the first being the Blackbeard-labeled Rogue Dark, the white rum features its own pirate on its face, this time being none other than Jean Lafitte (perhaps the least piratey-looking of all pirates, but we’ll forgive him because he was otherwise pretty awesome.) In the bottle, this rum is what most any other white rum would be – clear as water and indistinguishable from vodka, gin, or rubbing alcohol. Continue reading

Review: Phantoms of the High Seas

Rating: ★★★½☆
Buy the CD
Genre: Ethereal, ambience, spook.
Rating: G (not meaning it’s for kids, though)
Target Audience: Anyone looking for a taste of atmospheric pirate creepiness

It’s been tried before – wholly instrumental albums of ethereal background music intended to capture images of swashbuckling and high-seas daring-do. The problem, all too often, is that if it weren’t for the album cover featuring a ship, jolly roger, or skeletal pirate, you’d be hard pressed to listen to the music and know it was piracy that inspired the artist, and not dragons, cave-dwelling amazons, or any number of other fantastical entities. Continue reading

Review: Nate and Hayes

Rating: ★★★☆☆
nateandhayesNate and Hayes is one of those oft forgotten, semi-classics that’s very existence will surely surprise younger pirate fans – who knew that Tommy Lee Jones starred in a pirate film? (Wait until you learn that so did James Earl Jones, but that’s a future review.) Filmed in 1983, Nate and Hayes is a definite product of its time as it features a decent film effort combined with some wildly dated concepts. But if watched with a forgiving mind, it’s still an enjoyable film and well worth watching.

The story begins at the end, or near enough. We’re introduced to pirate Bully Hayes (Jones), as he attempts to complete an arms smuggling job with some incredibly bizarre island natives (namely white folk in afros wearing matching red and black outfits.) The deal sours, and we witness the deaths of most of the characters we’ve yet to be introduced to, capped off by the capture of Bully Hayes to be hanged for crimes against Spain. It’s in this manner that we’re soon to encounter the movie’s primary storyline – told through a series of flashbacks as Hayes recounts his adventures to a news reporter. Continue reading

Review: Flight of the Filthy Vicar

Rating: ★★★★☆
Buy the CD
Genre: Pirate Jazz, funk, disco, etc.
Rating: PG
Target Audience: Anyone with a sense of humor and a taste for the odd

With their second album, The Flight of the Filthy Vicar, Rustmonster continues its unique mix of jazz, funk, and experimental to explore pirate matters in a manner which no healthy mind could ever conceive. No fewer than 20 artists lend their creative talents to impress, entertain, and at times befuddle. There is, after all, nothing in this world quite like manly ‘heave ho’s shouted in time with a saxophone, and it’s thus this album begins with its first track, Blood and Bone. It’s a formula that led to astoundingly fun results with their first album, The Last Voyage of the Black Betty, and it works equally well this second time around. Continue reading

How I Plan to Survive February (and you’re invited to join me!)

We’re still in the dead of winter, which for many pirates means cold days, colder nights, loads of snow, and not a whole heck of a lot to do with ourselves from a piratey perspective. The good news? Spring is just around the corner. The bad? It ain’t here yet.

Actually, there is some more good news. Continue reading

Dress Like a Pirate… Get Free Food!

It’s a bit too much of a trek for me, but perhaps some of you might be up from some free grub:

Team Magellan “World Traveler” invites you to appear on the Live Reality TV show, “So you think you want to own a restaurant…” The theme is Coastal Cuisine.

Come in Pirate Garb, and receive comp tickets that include a drink and free food! No Garb? Tickets are only $15.00. Tickets will be available at the door. No need to RSVP, just show up between 1 and 6pm this Saturday, January 24th. A cash bar will be available. Ticket and bar sales will benefit the SPCA, and outside dining is pet friendly.

South Beach Bar and Grill, 14705 Gulf Blvd, Madeira Beach, Florida. Call Burt 727-678-0252.


Review: Emphatical Piratical

Rating: ★★★☆☆
Genre: Children (and adult) Pirate Rock and Alternative
Rating: G
Target Audience: Kids will definitely love it, but adults will also find some good stuff

Since the very beginning, Captain Bogg & Salty has always walked a fine line. On the face of it they’re children’s entertainers, and therefore sing silly songs of a kid-friendly nature. But the genius of their first album, Bedtime Stories for Pirates, was that – rather than sounding like preschool teachers like so many other childrens’ “pirate” entertainers – Bogg & Salty lent the impression of being real pirates; actual buccaneers, albeit good-natured ones, doing their level best to “keep it clean” for the duration of the album. This made Bogg & Salty a rare beast, being a pirate band that could be enjoyed by kids and their parents (and even angsty teens and 20-somethings) alike. Continue reading