Review: Buccaneer – The Pursuit of Infamy

Rating: ★★★½☆

Some pirate games are quite complicated – not only do you sail, but you also have to worry about swordfighting, minding your investments, replacing your old lame clothes with new, more piratey clothes, and so on. Not so with Buccaneer: The Pursuit of Infamy. This arcade style is quick and to the point – take your ship out, blow apart the enemy, and collect your reward. It’s a refreshingly simple concept that when combined with stellar graphics and rousingly piratey sound effects (not to mention music provided by Swashbuckle!) makes for a fine way to kill your real-world productivity. Continue reading

Pirate Claymation!

Aardman back in motion with two Sony pics | Entertainment | Film | Reuters.

So yeah – Aardman Animation brought us the likes of Wallace&Gromit and Chicken Run. And now they’re bringing us pirates:

“”Pirates!” is based on the best-selling series of books by Gideon Defoe that began with “The Pirates! (in an Adventure with Scientists).” The story, fashioned as a swashbuckling adventure with a rich vein of surreal and broad comedy, will follow a group of pirates who journey to London and meet Charles Darwin and a talking chimp named Mister Bobo, while an enemy tries to wipe them out.”

If you’re not already familiar with Gideon Defoe’s works, check out my reviews of his first two books, Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists and Pirates! in an Adventure with Ahab. Then go buy the books so you can sit in the theater and loudly proclaim, “Oh, the books were sooooo much better!”

A Bit on Mondern Piracy

Since the very beginning of, I’ve mostly ignored any news regarding modern pirates. I freely admit that my love of historical pirates is selective – frock coats good, rape bad. Rum, flintlocks, cutlasses, ships, pirate hats all good, actual cold-blooded murder or torture bad. Of course, being as the 1700’s were harsh times, and you could easily make the case that pirates of the day were in many ways no better or worse than the very governments they fought against, and that sailing merchants often created an environment so cruel that it left their crew little choice but to go on the account – this only further enables the easy glamorization of historical (and fictional) old-timey pirates. Continue reading

Review: Pyrat Pistol

Rating: ★½☆☆☆

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

I know it still has it’s fans, and I wouldn’t dream of trying to talk them out of their enjoyment. But to me, Pyrat rums seem a few years past their time. Somewhere a while back they changed their formula – the beloved Pyrat XO went from a fine rum to merely decent, the infamous Pyrat Cask 23 fell from extraordinary to – again – decent. And Pyrat Pistol? I never had the chance to try it before the change, but today it doesn’t strike me as something you need to seek out.

Pyrate Pistol tastes virtually identical to its sibling XO – plenty of citrus with a tiny touch of musk. But the finish is more bitter than is XO, and even while still on the tongue it carries just a bit of harshness. Basically a slightly inferior rum to XO, but without the significantly cheaper price tag to make it all add up. XO these days can be had in many markets for a song, so if lightweight citrusy rum is your cup of grog, that’s where I’d stick.

What is it with morons and Bacardi?

Parolee arrested after chase; bottle of rum unscathed : News : Redding Record Searchlight.

Actually, never mind. The answer is in the question – MORONS and Bacardi. Why do we never read about people arrested after stealing a rum actually worth stealing? Because those scalliwags have enough sense to not get caught. Unlike this dolt, who put a seatbelt on his ill-gotten rum prior to a police chase even as he failed to wear one himself. Anyone who values the safety of a Bacardi bottle more than their own is truly too dumb to live. Perhaps Bacardi should impliment an extra ingredient that promotes sterility – the world would be a better place.

Oh Carp, They’re On To Us…

Milky Way ‘tastes of raspberries and smells of rum’ |

That’s right, scientists – SPACE scientists – are now running around telling everyone that the center of the galaxy smells like rum. Which means they’re getting very close to learning why it smells like rum, and that’s a secret we pirates just can’t afford to have get out. Not just yet, anyways.

Remember what they say about “the best laid plans,” mates. Secrecy at this point is critical, so keep yer yaps shut and stick to your orders. And if you see a space scientist knock them unconscious and send them my way. Do not – I repeat, DO NOT harm them as they may yet prove useful.

Best Issue Ever (Part 2)

pyrateswayautumn2008I know, I know – you’re think, “Hey, he already had a ‘Best Issue Ever’ post”, and you’re right. But that was the best ever issue of Pirates Magazine – THIS is the best issue ever of The Pyrates Way – an no, not because of the picture of Talderoy on the cover.

Autumn 2008 (aye, they’re running a tad behind) features a two page spread on yours truly – 12 questions all about what makes the Bilgemunky tick. And if that ain’t worth your money, I don’t know what is. But as a special bonus, the second round of pirate trading cards – two included with each issue – includes a Bilgemunky card! Of course, there’s no telling which two cards you’ll get with your issue, so better buy a few extra subscriptions to better your chances at scoring a Bilgemunky card – they’re sure to accumulate dust value over the years!