The Kinder, Gentler, Christian Captain Hook

For those of you haters who’ve been writing to your newspapers saying that all historically-inclined pirate festivals should be canceled because a few Somalians can’t behave themselves, get bent check this out – pirates teaching Christian values. Now don’t you feel sheepish? Of course, they’re entirely lame, don’t look or sound remotely piratey, but at least they’re making the effort. Or made the effort, rather – this was back in the seventies. I like to think that one of those smiling children grew up to be a right despicable scallywag, and is swilling rum and gutting Spaniards as we speak (in a very “love-thy-neighbor” way, of course.)

White House FAILS!

White House Back-Story: The President And The Pirate | Political Hotsheet – CBS News.

With all the resources the White House has, with all the gazillions of dollars they spend each day, THIS is the best pirate they could come up with? C’mon Obama, show a little pride, man!

I would start to also grumble about how we don’t need The Administration to further draw a corolation between modern pirates and good ol’ buccaneers – those waters are turbulent enough without the White House pulling this crap. But then I’d just be accused of having no sense of humor 😛

New! Gosling’s Ginger Beer

Cold Off the Press: Gosling’s Rums and Polar Beverages Unveil ‘Definitive’ Ginger Beer.

Dark&Stormies, here I come! Anyone that listens to Bilgemunky Radio know that I make no secret of my devotion to Gosling’s Black Seal Rum. Not only is it cheap as hell, but it goes down pretty smooth, all things considered. And it also mixes quite well with Ginger Beer – and now they’ve gone and created their own.

I can’t wait to try the stuff.

Samuel L. Jackson to produce and star in African pirate movie

Samuel L. Jackson to produce and star in African pirate movie | TV, movie and music news | Film, Movie biz |

OK, so this clearly falls into modern Somalian-style piracy, which we don’t really cover here. But it also falls into pop culture since it’s a pirate move. And it involves Samuel Jackson, so it clearly falls into the “awesome” territory.

Fine, I admit that the only reason I’m posting this is so that I can make a joke about Jackson yelling, “I’m sick and tired of these <monkey-freaking> pirates on this <monkey-freaking> plane!!!”

May 9th is “National Pirate Day” – maybe

So our friends over at the Pyracy Pub seem to have discovered that at one time, May 9th was celebrated to be National Pirate Day. Sadly, what internet results I could find only consisted of additional secondhand info, with no actual evidence. This of course shouldn’t be confused with Talk Like a Pirate Day, which as we all know is September 19th.

Whether you celebrate piracy this weekend or not… scratch that – you SHOULD be celebrating piracy this weekend, regardless of whether there’s any merit to this whole May 9th thing. So sayeth we.

Remains of Pirate Wind Up in Court

Washington Daily News Online.

OK, so bones were accidentally uncovered during construction that may, or may not, belong to a member of Blackbeard’s crew. And they’ve been taken to court to determine if they are indeed the remains of the 250 year dead Edward Salter, because if so, well, they should be reburied according to Salter’s will, rather than in the method the state would otherwise do.

I suppose it’s better than taking a 250 year old skeleton to court to sue for punitive damages on behalf of some long-dead ancestor, but I’m still not certain it’s a great example of your tax dollars at work. Hell, most pirates were lucky to get a burial of any kind.