Keelhauled Video – Sweet!!!!

Scottish Pirate Metal heroes Alestorm have released a video of the song Keelhauled from their latest album Black Sails at Midnight (which, if possible, might be even better than their first album Captain Morgan’s Revenge.) It takes all types to make a world, but I admit that I strongly favor the type of pirate metal where you can actually understand the lyrics, and nobody does it better than Alestorm. Enjoy!

Yo ho, yo ho…beauty and a bottle of rum?

Yo ho, yo ho…beauty and a bottle of rum?

The Examiner recently posted this article about all the various beauty products out there that are rum-based. Not that this would come as a surprise to anyone that’s met me – I bathe in rum daily, which is why my skin is so radient. My healthy teeth and gums are a direct result of mixing rum into my toothpaste, and my youthful appearance can be chocked up to weekly rum injections directly into my cheekbones. Botox ain’t got nothin’ on rum!

Bid to Clear Capt. Kidd’s Name – I don’t get it.

BBC NEWS | UK | Scotland | Tayside and Central | Support for bid to clear pirate.

Sure, I understand the controversy around whether or not Kidd was actually a pirate. In truth, the evidence I’ve seen indicates that he almost certainly was not, and was ironically made the scapegoat of all sorts of little (and not so little) scandals. But why clear him now? Don’t these people have something better to do other than clear the name of a convicted pirate more than 300 years after it will do him any good?

Since when did L. Ron Hubbard write about pirates???

Free Pirate’s Code with the true history of pirates in a beautifully illustrated booklet.

The only thing I know about L Ron Hubbard is Scientology. And all that I know about Scientology I learned by watching Southpark – which means I don’t know much. I did NOT know that Hubbard ever wrote about pirates, but apparently he did at least twice – Under the Black Ensign, and Pirate Code. This second of which is actually a smaller booklet that you can get for free by signing up for a newsletter. I’m rather on the fence on this one – I’d like the free book to see just what we’re talking abou there, but I really don’t want to wind up on a scientology list. What to do, what to do…

Review: RootJack

rootjackorangeRating: ★★★★☆

It’s a well-accepted fact that root beer is the most piratey of all non-alcoholic beverages. If this is news to you, then you really need to play The Secret of Monkey Island┬áto further your piratey education. If you’ve already played Monkey Island but still dispute root beer’s soft-drink dominance over all piratedom, then you’re not as smart as I’d hoped (and likely not as good looking, either.)

RootJack is a new pirate energy drink from Voodoo Elixirs. Essentially orange flavored root beer with extra caffeine and guarana, RootJack makes no claims at fighting ghosts (again, see Monkey Island) – it does, however, fight scurvy thanks to a full day’s supply of vitamin C. So long, puffy gums, so long bleeding sores – RootJack makes it all better, and tastes pretty good alongside. Continue reading