Listen Up, Corksuckers…

Ian McShane set for ‘Pirates’ sequel.

That’s right, Ian McShane. Ian flogging McShane, a.k.a. Al Swearengen, is supposedly in talks to portray Blackbeard in PotC4. Generally, I find most PotC rumors to be rather ‘meh’, but THIS one I can heartily endorse. This is also the first indication of On Stranger Tides having something to do with the book aside from the Fountain of Youth. Although, considering the book, I still don’t know what the hell Jack Sparrow will do with himself for two hours aside from stumbling around drunk and looking lost. Kind of like I did Friday night at PyrateCon 2009.

Fun Fact: The real Al Swearengen wasn’t actually British, but was born in Iowa. Which places him in such auspicious company as Captain Kirk and the Bilgemunky. Blackbeard, however, was most certainly NOT from Iowa, and it’s reported to be the only regret he ever admitted to in public.

You Blame Me, But I Blame the Viking…

Our friends at Rustmonster are multi-talented, it seems. And they also appreciate vikings – who, despite popular theory are NOT pirates of the northern seas. Rather, vikings are the result of crossbreeding pirates with knights, and therefore boast the strengths (armor, booze) and weaknesses (heavy armor, excessive booze) of both.

Part One:

Part Two: Continue reading

You asked, and Rustmonster Answers!

I recently received the following question:

I’ve been wondering two things in regards to the brilliant bunch o’ blaggards what call themselves Rust Monster. First: when can we expect to hear the much-anticipated project wherein they collaborated with none other than the great Munky o’ Bilge himself? And second: is there anywhere a pirate might get his hands on an MP3 of their song “Overture?” I’ve been dying to add it to me collection.

-Captain Jack McCool

I forwarded it to the fine folks at Rustmonster, and they’ve responded in spades – not only with a free link to download Overture, but also a video of breakdancing pirates! Oh, and also news regarding my own song, Battlecry of the Preemptive Revengence! Check it all out at:

Rustmonster pirate music » A Request from a Fan.

Review: RumChata

Rating: ★★★★★

Never, in all my years of reviewing rum, have I ever described a product as “thicker than milk, but thinner than a shake.” But then, I’ve never reviewed a rum cream before. Truth be told, there’s not that many of them on the market – only two or three to my knowledge. And of those I’d tried, they were good and all, but they were pretty much akin to Bailey’s Irish Cream, but made with rum.

Not so with RumChata – this is as different from Bailey’s as rum is from vodka. Yes it’s white, and yes it’s creamy. But RumChata boasts an assortment of smells and flavors that I’ve never before encountered in a rum (or booze-cream) product. The key here is the “chata,” being derived from Horchata. Horchata, for those that don’t know (I didn’t know) is a Mexican/Central American treat made from rice, and this connection is immediately apparent when you poor yourself a glass of RumChata. The smell of rice – think rice pudding, not that stuff you mix with Chinese takeout – is by far the most prominent flavor, both to the nose and the tongue alike. But there is more – rum, vanilla, and cinnamon are also apparent, as is a hint of coconut (which actually isn’t present at all, but it’s just a trick of the rice.) Continue reading

Penelope Cruz Signs on with PotC4?

Penelope Cruz snubs von Trier for Pirates of the Caribbean – Monsters and Critics.

The internet has been flooded for a week with stories of Penelope Cruz being in talks with Disney to star as Jack Sparrow’s, er, nemesis? Colleague? Bosom Buddy? I’m really not sure (and for all we know, the writers aren’t sure yet either – that makes me nervous.) Anyways, I haven’t bothered sharing the news, because if PotC2 and 3 taught us anything, it’s that rumors will go back and forth and back again, and trying to keep up with them is just pointless. Continue reading