Creepy, Awesome Fan Art

Long-time Bilgemunky Radio supporters Captain Mal and Mac the Wife sent this piece of extraordinary pirateyness shortly after the 100th Podcast with an accompanying letter of congrats. Its eyes have a habit of following you, and at night it whispers secrets. I’d say more about this handcrafted monkey head, but really, it speaks for itself.

Fan Art – in 3D!!!

Around the time of Bilgemunky Radio’s 100th Podcast, I received some hearty congratulations from a few listeners. And Broadside Bryan even saw fit to express his excitement with fire. Well, burnt wood anyways.

As he tells it, this wasn’t done with an electric burner, either, but with a metal stick heated (and reheated, and reheated, and reheated…) over the stove. Never let it be said that Bilgemunky listeners don’t do things the old fashioned way. The painful, slow, tedious old fashioned way. Thanks Bryan! Once I figured out this wasn’t a puzzle box, I was able to fully appreciate its glory (that was a long, frustrating three hours, though.)

No Fake Boobs in PotC4

Pirates auditions rule out women with fake assets- Hindustan Times.

This story has popped up all over the internet last night – Disney looking for fit young women who are also capable swimmers. Here’s the actual casting call:

Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5′7-5′8, Size 4 or 6 – NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.

Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.

It appears that this search for healthy young aqua-lasses is tied to Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, and of course rumors have immediately gone in the direction of mermaids. Which would be yet one more indication that On Stranger Tides is bearing less and less similarity to the book, which I’ve decided is a good thing. The more Disney strikes out in its own creative directions, the less likely for the final product to be a sad bastardization of the original work. So bring it on, real boobs and all!

Although now I wonder just how many Disney casting calls specify a boob preference? Perhaps I’ve underestimated the Mouse after all.

Happy Birthday, Pirates of the Caribbean!

As of today, the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disneyland is 47 years old. 47 years of firing cannons over patrons heads, 47 years of lying in a drunken stupor with pigs, 47 years of yelling, “we want the redhead,” and 47 years of nonstop singing of, “yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!”

Raise a glass, mates, for this was the ride that for many of us started it all. Without it, there would be no Jack Sparrow, no Monkey Island, and probably no Pirate-Core bands. Without it, I would have probably dedicated my life to something useful and financially rewarding, like brain surgery, or time-travel. I’d be rich by now, with large homes across the nation, all staffed by robot maids.


Review: Rise

Rating: ★★★★★
Genre: Pirate folk rock
Rating: PG-13
Target Audience: Pirates. If you don’t love this album, you’re a poser.

A review of The Pirates Charles’ new album Rise almost seems redundant. I mean, it’s The Pirates Charles for crike’s sake! And, as always, this album is full of “almost traditional” music akin to what pirates would have listened to if only they’d thought of it. If you’ve heard their earlier albums, then you know what I mean. And if you’ve ever seen them live, then you know it even moreso. Continue reading

Kilo Kai Shares its Love!

Not to be left in the wake of Kraken and its most excellent promo kit, the fine folks at Kilo Kai have opted to send me gifts in turn. But while Kraken’s goodies were gloriously mythological in nature, Kilo Kai has opted for a more real-world approach (meaning they sent me things that are actually useful.) Yup, as with their rums, these two new titans of the spiced market have taken decidedly different yet equally cool approaches to their promos. Kilo Kai has provided a fine assortment of shirts, coasters, flags… even a Kilo Kai duffel bag!!! Continue reading

Fell’s Point Fast Approaches!

Arrr – Fell’s Point is rapidly approaching, and even though this will be my first year attending, I’m already getting that special tingly feeling I used to get just before PyrateCon. It’s the anticipation of knowing I’ll get to dress, act, and drink like a pirate with some of my best mates from across the country! The attached image (click on it for the full size) has details of the Swashbuckler Soiree – hope to see lots of you there!

Oh, and for those of you looking to raise a glass with me, I’m a particular fan of Goslings (Black Seal or Old Estate), Sea Wynde, and Angostura 1824. There are many other great rums as well, but if you offer me a Bacardi in “friendship”, I’ll kick your butt as if you were a self-proclaimed pirate lord 🙂