I’m the PIRATE KING (of my own butt)

I’m all for incorporating pirates into modern fashion, but cripes, could someone finally do it right? (actually a few have, but most?…)

So yeah, here’s a picture of some new One Piece jeans. In case you didn’t notice, they say “Im gonna be the Pirate King!!” across the buttocks. And yes, that’s an exact quote, missing apostrophe and all. Bad grammar and bad fashion all rolled into one.

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Pirate Drinking Song!

It’s always encouraging to see young people take an interest in musical piracy. No, not file-sharing – that’s just weak. But making pirate music – THAT is braggable. And this band – Shades of Gray, puts forth a very fine effort indeed! It does, however, cut off rather suddenly, so be warned.

More Rum Goodie Packs (reviews forthcoming!)

Yes, it’s true. The spiced rums are clamoring for my attention. And who can blame them? I’m quite a catch, afterall. Stand by for reviews very soon for the Three-D Rums collection, featuring Voodoo Spiced as well as Redrum and Jolly Roger Lime Coconut. Actually, I’ve never reviewed three rums at once before, and I’m a little afraid of this one. No, not because I can’t handle three rums – but rather, the bottles are all shaped like coffins. And I don’t know if the marketing department knew this, but Redrum spelled backwards is murdeR (shiver.) Continue reading

Review: The Lash Spiced Rum

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Made from four year aged rum, steeped with genuine spices, and named for the famous quote regarding “Rum, sodomy, and The Lash.” If you’re a typical Bilgemunky.com reader, then you’re already intrigued. Now how about I tell you that The Lash literally discourages mixing their spiced rum with anything save ice or nada – got your attention yet?

The Lash is a class act from the bottle onward. Short and squat with a synthec cork, this rum takes a far more old-world asthetic to its packaging. The cat-o-nine tails logo is present enough to lend the sense of high seas drama, but not so blatant as to make you feel like you should be wearing bondage gear to purchase the stuff. And the rich, deep amber color of the rum inside is not only warmly inviting, but gently swirls with a small amount of sediment left over from the spices. Continue reading

Gibbs is Back!!!

I know that lots of fans have been concerned that not enough of their favorite characters will be returning for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Personally, I’m all for fresh blood, but I also appreciate that a great character is a great character. And guess what? According to Internet Movie Database, it looks like Kevin McNally will be returning to play Gibbs (!!!).

I don’t know how IMDB is updated – if it’s at all like Wikipedia, then this isn’t very reliable. And I’ve yet to see a single news story confirming this. But IMDB has done us right so far with their cast list, promptly listing confirmed cast, and consistently ignoring the whole Megan Fox rumor-mill, so perhaps there’s hope for Gibbs fans after all.

MovieFone FAIL

So after prattling on for a full minute about what an ubergeek she is, and lamenting/bragging on her extreme knowledge of obscure comicbook/movie characters, this reporter goes on to report that Salma Hayek will be starring opposite Johnny Depp in the upcoming Pirates film. If you need me to explain why this is funny, then you haven’t been paying enough attention, and therefore should hang your head and share in her shame.