Does “Swagger” Make You Smell Like a Pirate?

So I was pretty stoked when I saw Old Spice’s “Swagger” at my local supermarket. I mean, just look at it! The red and black label, the very name “swagger”, and of course Old Spice’s long tradition of making you smell, well, old. And spicy. Anyways, I figured if ever there was an underarm deodorant that would make you smell piratey, this must be it.

Well, let’s not get too excited. First and foremost Swagger smells like nothing more than underarm deodorant. You know that smell that all other deodorants have? Yeah, that smell. Maybe it’s the smell of the aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex, but it has that same, non-distinctive perfuminess that they all seem to have. Coupled with that smell that they add to all “manly” deodorants so as to distinguish them from girly ones. Let’s call it “Drakkar.”

So beneath these initial, primary aromas, is there an underlying foundation of pirate smells? Beats me, I’ve already grown bored with it. Which probably means no.

Upcoming Gigs – Come Parrrty with the Bilge!!!

Ok, you’ll have to forgive my usage of “parrrty”, but it was just too easy. In case you haven’t heard, I have loads of pirate DJing coming up, and I hope to see lots of you at the following events!

I’ll be posting about each in more detail as we get closer and I have more info on what sort of festivities to expect, but for now, MARK YOUR CALENDARS! If you’re a pirate worth a salt, then you already tune in to Bilgemunky Radio each week. But really, you haven’t lived until you’ve jammed to pirate-core LIVE!

NorCal Pirate Video – Featuring BILGEMUNKY (and others)

Seriously, I *am* working on a NorCal afteraction report. Look for it soon. Meantime, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then moving pictures must be worth, what, two thousand? Gunpowder Gertie made this outstanding video during the festival, and you’re sure to note a lot of familiar faces (including my own handsome mug.) And honestly, my singing was spot on – it’s just the voodoo of YouTube that makes me look out of sync!

Newsflash – Malibu ain’t rum!

OK, of COURSE Malibu is rum. But just the same, I want to kiss this reporter full on the lips for writing:

The 16-year-olds were caught with the Jack Daniels, vodka, Malibu, and rum after the manager of their holiday flats searched the rooms and called police.

That’s just pure genius – like saying “We have Bacardi, and we have rum.” And no, I’m not being remotely sarcastic – I think more of these flavored mixer rums need to be put in their place, as do some of these hoity-toity top shelf rums that no longer taste like something a pirate would deign to piss in. But I’m getting away from myself. The full article:

UK News :: Teenagers’ huge stash of alcohol.

Review: Jolly Roger, Redrum, and VooDoo Spiced

Rating: ★★½☆☆
I’ve long been at odds with myself as to which rums I should review, and which ones I shouldn’t. It used to be that I only reviewed rums that I considered to be “sippers,” being as flavored mixing rums are too difficult to seperate from the quality of the mixed drink itself (seriously, even a simple rum&coke is far more forgiving of a rot rum than would be that rot rum by itself.) But here and there I’d find a rum that wasn’t really a sipper, but still warranted comment of some kind. And then a lovely package from Three-D Spirits arrives at my doorstep containing not one but three mixer rums. I mean, they made the effort to send it, the least I can do is offer comment, aye? Continue reading