Pirates vs Ninjas vs Zombies vs… Pandas. Yeah, Pandas.

Pirates, Ninjas, and Zombies are three of the archetypes of modern society, with the other two being Robots and Chuck Norris. So why on earth we now have a game of Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies (so far so good) vs. Pandas is beyond me. But there it is, and here’s a demo of the gameplay:

I don’t have a smart phone, so I guess I’m out of luck. I buy my phones for their milspec rating – mine is clear for vibration, dust, and impact. No dice on the moisture, though, which rather sucks for a pirate. But I couldn’t afford the phone you submerge. Plus, it was about the size of a submarine and looked ridiculous in my pocket on my belt. Click “read more” to see an additional video illustrating how this four-way war got started. Apparently, it was all the pirates’ fault. Figures. Continue reading

Henry Martin Raids the Stoli!

Henry Martin, esteemed pirate vocalist that can often be heard on such groundbreaking programs as Bilgemunky Radio, has developed a taste, it seems for vodka (gasp!) So much so, in fact, that he’s become one of the Top 10 Finalists in the Stoli Casting Call competition. You can check out his video now:

Now, you’ve seen his fine work, so do you piratey part and vote for the man! Near as I can tell, formal “voting” doesn’t exist, but instead Stoli is looking for the finalist with the biggest show of online support. So engage in the following:

  1. Comment/like/favorite the video on YouTube
  2. Leave a comment/vote for Chris Leidenfrost-Wilson on Stoli’s Facebook Page
  3. Post your vote for Chris Leidenfrost-Wilson to Stoli’s Twitter

That’s it! Let’s show Stoli that we pirates can command the vodka world like we do the rum! Yarrr!!!

On Stranger Tides Full Length Trailer!

You’ve been waiting for it, so here it is! The preview for next year’s Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides:

It looks interesting, to be sure. And I wonder at the clear elements I see from the book (Fountain of Youth, Zombies) balanced against the clearly non-book parts (mermaids, the entire cast except for Blackbeard). Don’t get me wrong, I hope they make the best movie they can, regardless of which side of the “true to the book” spectrum that means. I’m just eager to see what that balance turns out to be. Sadly, you know what I’m not eager to see? PENELOPE CRUZ. Seriously, I look at this movie and I don’t see Johnny Depp and Ian McShane, I see Jack Sparrow and Blackbeard. But with Cruz I see the same feisty latina I see in virtually every movie she’s in. These movies have always been character driven, and I don’t see a character when I look at Cruz, I just see an A-list fifth wheel thrown in for no good reason. I’ll gladly eat crow should I be wrong and ‘Angelica’ turns out to be a bundle of pirate awesome, but right now she just makes me sad and cranky.

Also interesting in this preview were the two unnamed fresh-faced youngsters – the guy and the girl (I think she was behind bars.) Could this mean some elements of Jack Shandy and Beth Hurwood will find their way into the film afterall, I wonder?

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus – Yarrr!!!

Ok, so there’s really nothing particularly piratey about this. But I consider all things “Mega Shark” to be honorarily piratey. I mean, in his last movie he took a bit out of a 747 – WHILE IT WAS IN THE AIR!!! Never let logic stand in the way of AWESOME, that’s what I say. And I’m sure Blackbeard would have agreed, so there you go. Plus, this new movie Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus stars Urkel! Sea monsters plus has-been actors – if that’s not a recipe for awesome, I don’t know what is.

Burning Sea Music Video – See You There!

These past two weeks since Pirates of the Burning Sea has gone free to play, I’ve been spending most every (non-Bilgemunky Radio) night doing some pillaging and plundering. However, now I’m heading out of town for a few days and won’t have much time for such things. But this presents a splendid opportunity for a few of you Munky Knifefighters to hop ingame and get up to speed so we can gut a few Spaniards together! And just to whet your appetite, here’s a Burning Sea music video:

And before you even ask, no, I’m not on the Burning Sea payroll. The reason I’m pimping them so hard is that since getting back ingame, I have no friends!!! I feel like a level 34 Cutthroat N00b 🙁

Yo Ho, Sebastian!

It’s pretty well established by now that homosexual pirates were indeed a part of the Golden Age. How big a part is a matter of debate, but definitely a part. And how were those gay pirates treated upon being ‘outed’ by their shipmates? Well, that too is subject to much speculation. Cosmo Jarvis has offered his own theory in this video. Or maybe it’s supposed to be commentary on more contemporary gay issues. Regardless, it’s very piratey, and very gay. Seriously, don’t watch if seeing two dudes kissing is the sort of thing that sends your panties into a twist.

Remarkably sincere and heartfelt for a video called “Gay Pirates.” And even more remarkable is that Cosmo Jarvis himself is straight.

Bilgemunky Radio 152 – Yuletide has Struck!

December is upon us and Christmas is in the air. Or rather, on the high seas. Seasonal shanties abound and the rum flows freely!

No show on December 13th, but we’ll be back on the 20th. Yarrr!!!

1. Pirates R Us – KYAR Pirate Radio (3:55)
2. The Bilge Pumps – A Pirate’s Christmas Wish (3:42)
3. That Damned Band – A Drunken Pyrate’s Hymn (4:34) Continue reading

Review: The Book of Pirates

Rating: ★★★★☆
I guess I never really thought about it, but it largely seems that pirate non-fiction is mostly available for two audiences – children and adults. But what about the inbetweeners? The adolescents who are beyond picturebooks, but not yet ready for the heavy, sometimes dry historical accounts found in historical novels? Enter The Book of Pirates: A Guide to Plundering, Pillaging and Other Pursuits.

Authors Jamaica Rose and Captain Michael MacLeod are no strangers to sharing their piratical wisdom. Indeed, they’ve been the primary forces behind the pirate trade publication No Quarter Given for, what, 17 years now? That’s a long floggin’ time, and the sheer volume of their pirate travels alone makes them well suited to the task of ushering our young adults into a wider world of swashbuckling adventure. Continue reading

Your PotC4 Updates…

So now that Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides has wrapped up filming, it’s just a short wait until the fever truly sets in. The trailer premeires on December 13th, and the film itself May 20th. But meantime, here’s some tidbits for ya:

  1. Jack Sparrow is gay. No, not really – that’s just what Johnny Depp said to mess with some numbskull Disney executive.
  2. Jack Sparrow was originally supposed to be played by Hugh Jackman. Yes, really. This, of course, would have so profoundly changed these movies as to be an entirely different franchise. Trying to speculate what they’d be like is as pointless as wondering what the world would be like if sharks were vegetarian.
  3. PotC 5&6 already in the works. Errr… entirely feasible, but I wouldn’t bank on this “exclusive” story from HitFix being the gospel truth just yet.

So there yah have it – a few nuggets of info (or mis-info, as the case may be) to tide you over until the preview strikes later this month 🙂