Category Archives: Commentary

After Action Report: BrethrenCon 2010

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Let’s be honest – when you think of prime locations for a pirate convention, Denver Colorado doesn’t exactly spring to mind. You can’t get much more removed from any sort of maritime community, and the high altitude might leave you a little giddy before you even crack open the rum. But then, you don’t exactly need water to engage in many of the very best pirate activities – carousing is best done on dry land, and dancing to some pirate tunes is just as easily achieved in a hotel ballroom as on the deck of a ship. And that was the beauty of BrethrenCon 2010 – a single hotel for a day was made ground zero for pirate enthusiasts from miles around (Colorado does indeed have a surprisingly large and diverse pirate population.) Continue reading →

4,000 Pirates – Yikes!

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So first, Brixam England had the world record for “Most Pirates Gathered” with 1,469 pirates – actually, someone else surely had it before them, but this is when the chatter started. Portland Oregon then swooped in and took the prize with 1,651 pirates. England then reclaimed the title with 1,722 pirates gathered in Devon, followed by USA once again with something in the neighborhood of 2,600 pirates at the NorCal Pirate Festival. Well, the official tally of NorCal isn’t even in yet, and already England has trumped everyone with a reported excess of 4,000 pirates gathered in Liverpool:

Liverpool Daily Post – News – Liverpool News – Mersey Pirate Muster brings 4000 pirates to Liverpool waterfront

I only have two questions, though. 1) What was San Fransisco based pirate-band There Be Pirates doing helping England trounce their own hometown’s recent record? One could almost accuse them of acting like, well, like pirates. OK, so no real news there. But 2) and FAR more important, with so many thousands of pirates in the US and UK alike, why aren’t more of them tuning into Bilgemunky Radio each week? Seriously, forget eyepatches and peglegs – if they’re not Bilgemunky fans, then they’re just posers.

After Action Report: Fell’s Point Privateer Day 2010

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So the second weekend of March, 2010 saw me at the Fell’s Point Privateer Day in Baltimore, MD. This was my first year attending this event, although I’d certainly heard good things. I was, however, a little concerned that a Privateer “Day” might not quite be robust enough to justify a long distance journey. Thanks in large part to Pirates Magazine and the Devil’s Dozen Induction, I needn’t have worried. Continue reading →

I just puked in my mouth a little.

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On the surface an article about Disney’s PotC ride being given a holiday makeover. OK fine. But keep reading and you’ll learn of plans for characters from OTHER films being intermingled amongst the pirates, Miley Cyrus replacing “the Redhead”, and the ability to “shop” while you ride the ride by pointing a telescope at merchandise tucked amongst the scenery and clicking a “charge me now” button.

And you thought George Lucas had a knack for violating your inner child. It seems he’s a saint next to the mouse. There’s a chance this is all a joke, but Disney has hardly earned my benefit of the doubt in such matters.

You better not pout – MiceAge.com.

Curses to Scarlett Harlott, who made me aware of this article and thus depriving me of sleep for the next week or two.

After Action Report: 2010 Devil’s Dozen Ceremony

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As anyone paying even a sliver of attention surely knows, the 2010 Fell’s Point Privateer Day weekend was kicked off with a Friday night induction ceremony of the first annual Devil’s Dozen winners – initiates into the fledgling fraternal pirate organization of The Order of Leviathan. The Order is the brainchild of legendary pirate Talderoy, who wished to create a society of accomplished pirates. The Order’s ranks will be added to each year via the Devil’s Dozen election, a process by which peers from within the pirate community may choose pirates of note from amongst their own. Actually, the process is a little more complex than that, but it’s close enough for the purpose of enjoying the induction festivities. Continue reading →

Pyrate Daze’s Celebrity List FAILS

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Being overly blunt has never won me friends, but I just can’t put this delicately – Pyrate Daze has the most idiotic celebrity guest list imaginable for a pirate festival of any sort. Sure, it has some of the usual suspects (Jamaica Rose, Cascabel, a large helping of Pirates of the Caribbean B-listers, and others), but the lion’s share of the guest list is comprised of folks that have nothing… remotely… to do… with… PIRATES. Consider: Continue reading →

Narwhals…

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I’m right crabby today – there are several things in the pirate world right now that boggle my mind and annoy my delicate sensitivities. My grumbles spawn from the goings-on of several different pirate events and crews, and seem to be too numerous to list without going mad. But I’d offer these three highlights for consideration: Continue reading →

Avast: Pirate Chic Returns – And it Frightens Me

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2Avast: Pirate Chic Returns – BlackBook.

There’s a right way to do pirate fashion, and there’s a wrong way. Wanna guess which one Vivienne Westwood chose? The wrong way – definitely the wrong way. But now that I think on it, most ways I’ve seen on the runways have been the wrong way. Jean Paul Gaultier back in 2007 had a mixed bag, and Gwen Stefani with her Rich Girl video struck several high points, but most of the stuff out there has been sorely misguided – and that goes double for mens’ wear. Why, oh why does no one design awesome modern clothing for the heterosexual, non-demented guy pirate? The answer, of course, is that straight, sane guy pirates pay no attention to fashion whatsoever, and buy most of their modern clothing at yard sales and side-show gift shops.

A few more highlights: Continue reading →

After Action Report: NorCal Pirate Festival

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norcal09_1www.norcalpiratefestival.com

Mid-June has come and gone, and it was my great pleasure to attend the Northern California Pirate Festival in Vallejo. Having attended this festival each of its three years, I’d love to say that I’ve witnessed it grow into something fantastic, but in this rare case no growth was necessary – never have I seen an event so much hit the ground running as this. The 2009 season proved every bit as worthy an event as its two predecessors as the waterfront park was again converted into a full-on pirate festival for two days during Fathers’ Day weekend. Continue reading →