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Is this the weirdest item I’ve ever reviewed? Maybe. Wait, there was that one rum that tasted of breakfast sausage…
No, this is weirder.
It’s a pirate head. Well, most of a pirate head. Jawline up. And he appears to be sleeping. No larger than a baseball, his firey red hear spews in all directions. There’s even a braid or two amongst the locks. Continue reading →
So here it is mates – the review you’ve come to look forward to this time each year. The temperatures may drop, the leaves may fall, and the breeze up your slops may have a bit more bite to it than you generally prefer. But at least we have one thing to look forward to – meeting the 12 pirate babes with whom we’ll be sharing the coming year.
If you’re like me (and I know you are) then you view this time with anticipation and trepidation alike. After all, it’s not every day we learn what sort of lasses will be staring at us from our wall for the next twelve months, and I already know I’ll like some more than others (which is always awkward.) Take 2008, for example. Calendar-wise I’d say it was a pretty good year, although I never could come to terms with Ms. July’s over-eager grin – I just *knew* she’d slipped something in that mug she was holding up. And Ms. September left me feeling mighty uncomfortable and fearful for 30 long days. May and June, however, could have gone on forever, for all I cared. But this is the crux of the Hot Pirate Babes – artist and photographer Tiger Lee has generously invested his year scouring the ends of the Earth to select for our enjoyment 12 pirate beauties – some being women of action, others of mystery, and still others of, well, you know. It’s like having your very own harem selected on your behalf by a guy you’ve never met. And being as tastes can so widely vary from one bloke to another, we can only hope he knows what he’s doing. So let’s take a look and find out… Continue reading →
OK mate – first thing you should know when decorating yer cabin/office/rec-room – old world maps, as great as they are, *can* be overdone. Proper pirate wall decor requires variety. It requires color and texture. It requires bare-chested mermaids.
Artist David Delware has released a series of three prints, each featuring various encounters between pirates and mermaids. They’re pretty, and they’re large (review prints were a hefty 10″ tall and 20″ wide.) All of them make fine use of “candlelight” coloring, focusing heavily on warm golds and with most other colors (with the exception of some blues) being rather muted for a nice, old-worldy effect.
Continue reading →
The Bilgemunky Logo is a trademark of Bilgemunky Enterprises, LLC
The Pirate Furniture Company
Whether at an encampment or in your office, the downside of accumulating lots of cool pirate booty is having a place to put it. And while some would argue that any old shelf or table would serve just fine, I’d submit that the only proper place to store your pirate booty is on a proper pirate table.
We’ve previously reviewed the folding Camp Stool from the Pirate Furniture Company – an invaluable item that still serves me well today. And now we have a second opportunity to view their work with their Crate Table – a small table suitable for an endtable, or well matched to sit at as a makeshift desk when combined with the afformentioned Camp Stool. Continue reading →
Let’s face it – by and large, most of our pirate gear and garb is just for show. True, some of us look to acquire higher quality, functional clothing that will stand up to the elements and spaniards alike, while others opt for strictly “fashionable” items that serve no purpose except to look awsome and piratey. And this is what makes a Leather Lore Bottell stand apart – it’s virtually a practical necessity.
Bottells are basically leather canteens. They’re available in either pitch or wax lining (pitch allows for more colors, while wax restricts you to black or brown. Wax, however, is safer for use with hard liquors, i.e. RUM!) and in 16 or 32 oz capaicities. The cork is turned wood held in place with a leather cord – not one item of modern material is present. They’re solid and rigid, and though the manufacturer does warn that it’s possible to crush and ruin them, they seem very sturdy and well-built. Continue reading →
Northwest Territorial Mint
The problem with having a pocketfull of doubloons is twofold:
1) They’re quite rare
and 2) They’re so bloody expensive.
That’s why almost to the pirate, any of us who want to walk around in our finery with a little jingle in our pockets must settle for some sort of replica. Generally these repicas are either cheap-ass plastic (great for giving away to kids, but pretty unconvincing to anyone over six), or the higher quality metal variety. To my knowledge, most all the metal coins on the market are made from a basic soft metal, then coated with the appropriate gold or silver shine. Generally speaking they serve just fine, but now and then you might want something a tad nicer. Continue reading →
Hot Pirate Babes
How many times have a bunch of blokes been sitting together and come up with the brilliant notion, “hey, we should make a calendar of hot pirate babes!” Without a doubt, the idea has been tossed about many a time. But for some reason it wasn’t until 2007 that someone actually took the project to task. And thus was born Tiger Lee’s “Hot Pirate Babes Calendar”, being the ultimate in aptly titled products this side of the Grand Canyon.
Hot Pirate Babes features 12 months of seagoing beauties – each of them armed. And while most are somewhat under-dressed for combat, many nonetheless sport combative snarles that make it clear they have something other than amore on their minds. I mention this point because it’s a subject that draws wildly different reactions from different viewers. The calendar’s cover, in fact, features a buxom blonde firing her pistol and bearing her pearly whites in a manner that says anything but “come hither.” (Unless, of course, it’s “come hither so I may gut you like a spaniard.”) In my own experience scorned women have proven best avoided, and aren’t something I would normally opt to pin to my wall (we’re talking calendars, remember.) Some of my mates, however, have clearly differed on this subject, and expressed that a warlike countenance can be quite the turn-on. Continue reading →