Looks like the European Navies are seeking someone with a little insight on what makes pirates tick. Which is silly, really – all they need to do is listen to “True Pirates” by The Ben Gunn Society and they’d know the answer: wenches and grog.

Arrr! “Pirate Cultural Adviser” wanted for Euro navies

However, if they still require a more thorough understanding of pirates – their penchant for parrots, love of stripey socks, willingness to heartily laugh at jokes ending in “arrr” puns again and again and freakin’ again, then I’m happy to sell them my services. European Navies, I await your call.