Mad Props, Yo (and get your liver examined)

The email simply reads:

WE ARE THE WORLDS GREATEST JACKTAR RUM SUPPORTERS (DEON LOUW AND MARKUS ROSSOUW).SEE FOTOS.OUR JACKTAR CONSUMPTION FOR ONE YEAR.

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For those who aren’t clear, those are bottle caps. Counting those on the sign as well, I’m estimating approximately 477 bottles – and that’s consumed by two guys in one year. Simple math:

477 bottles a year divided by two guys, 365 days in a year, 750 mL per bottle, 3,785.4 mL in a gallon, 16 cups in a gallon, and viola! – 2 cups of rum per guy per day.

Don’t think that sounds like much? Consider that the average American doesn’t drink that much WATER on a daily basis and we begin to realize that Deon and Markus probably aren’t actually human, but more likely are superior alien beings that survive on rum. Rather than carbon-based, their species is made up of gunpowder and rust. And instead of walking on two legs they sort of stumble and roll, or perhaps just lie there in a puddle of their own drool while the ceiling spins, wishing to god they could make it to the bathroom very, very soon.