Dress Like a Pirate
It never fails – you’re heading to a family picnic with a fresh bottle of rum when some young barnacle throws a frisbee right in your face. You, in a fit of blind rage, throw your rum at the scalliwagg in piratey retaliation, only to see it shatter against the pavement. The brat runs off scot-free, leaving you crouched down and sobbing like a schoolgirl – but it’s not the shards of broken glass pressing into your kneecaps that make you weep – nay – it’s that your rum is rapidly soaking into the ground. Some ants and earthworms days have been made, but your own is forever ruined.
The way I see it, there are two ways you could have prevented this catastrophe. The first is to enroll in an anger management program. This frequently involves time, money, and sitting in a circle with strangers while you talk about “feelings” and perhaps even hug. Bullocks to that, says I. Continue reading