Mad Props, Yo (and get your liver examined)

The email simply reads:

WE ARE THE WORLDS GREATEST JACKTAR RUM SUPPORTERS (DEON LOUW AND MARKUS ROSSOUW).SEE FOTOS.OUR JACKTAR CONSUMPTION FOR ONE YEAR.

Photo-0231

For those who aren’t clear, those are bottle caps. Counting those on the sign as well, I’m estimating approximately 477 bottles – and that’s consumed by two guys in one year. Simple math:

477 bottles a year divided by two guys, 365 days in a year, 750 mL per bottle, 3,785.4 mL in a gallon, 16 cups in a gallon, and viola! – 2 cups of rum per guy per day.

Don’t think that sounds like much? Consider that the average American doesn’t drink that much WATER on a daily basis and we begin to realize that Deon and Markus probably aren’t actually human, but more likely are superior alien beings that survive on rum. Rather than carbon-based, their species is made up of gunpowder and rust. And instead of walking on two legs they sort of stumble and roll, or perhaps just lie there in a puddle of their own drool while the ceiling spins, wishing to god they could make it to the bathroom very, very soon.

Review: Jack Tar Superior

Rating: ★★★★☆
Jack Tar Superior
www.berniko.com

Rum is made with molasses. As such, molasses is a common factor in the very nature of the rum flavor. Sure, there are often other subtle facets – fruits, spices, leather, etc. But molasses is so much a part of rum that many folks don’t seem to differentiate one from the other. But sometimes a dark rum comes along that transcends – and escapes – the molasses and becomes wholly and truly rum.

Jack Tar smells cool and heavy – and shamelessly of rum, plain and true. It’s not brown sugar, it’s not molasses – it’s rum. And just a bit peppery. It has a hint of undefined sweetness – not fruit or sugar, just sweetly rum (there’s that word again.) To the taste, Jack Tar is a whole-mouth experience. Where some rums seem to settle on one part of the tongue or another, Jack Tar envelopes and conquers it all, spreading instant warmth and spice throughout. It’s surpisingly smooth, but is followed with a wonderfully satisfying bite after you swallow, leaving the roof of your mouth all happy and tingly. Subsequent sips build on the first, leading to an increasingly warm and deep experience. Continue reading