Kids, don’t read this post. Continue reading
So a while back I learned about an upcoming line of toys being produced based on Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge. Shucks, I was excited as I envisioned my very own Captain Reynolds action figure bravely combating the evil Stagnetti, while the mighty Jules attempts to thwart Xifeng’s efforts to make zombies or something. Ah, such times we would have.
Well, guess what? The toys are now released, and they’re not quite what I’d envisioned. It seems that “adult” toys sometimes don’t mean action figures for grownups, but rather something quite different. To get an idea of what I’m talking about, check out this picture, but don’t click it if you shouldn’t (that means you, kiddies!)
There’s more – you can view them for yourselves at fine adult establishments everywhere. Adam&Eve, for example, has a wide selection of piratey naughty toys, just run a search for “pirate.”
Following its release in 2006, Pirates: A Joone Film made movie history. Not only was it the highest budgeted adult film ever, but it was also the first to cross over into mainstream cinema. By cutting the bulk of the sex scenes to establish an R rating, the remaining film was still highly enjoyable – a feature in stark contrast to the adult film stereotype, and certainly a commendable achievement.
Like its presumed inspiration, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates: A Joone Film was a daunting undertaking that was successfully achieved thanks to the “outside of the box” thinking of the production crew, writers, and direction. And also like the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Pirates: A Joone Film’s sequel, Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge managed to fall into a common trap – namely production value over plot. Continue reading
If you love pirates, and you love, er, “adult” entertainment, then get ready for an exciting September! Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge is fast approaching! Not much in way of specifics as yet, but from the poster I’d wager they read my review of the first movie in which I commented that it was a little blonde-centric. Looks to me like we now have brunette’s trumping the blondes by a 5-2 margin. Not that I care really, so long as at least one of them satisfies the “braided bad-ass” vacancy left by Serena from the first film (and I’m betting on the chick second from the left.)
View a teaser at www.digitalplayground.com/mov/pirates2teaser.html. Don’t worry, it’s just a skeleton in a storm, so nothing naughty yet.
Let’s just make one thing clear from the start – this is an adult film, albeit with all the truly naughty bits edited out to acheive an R rating. That’s not some sort exageration to make a point, it’s a fact – you can buy the unedited version online through many sources. This review, however, concerns the R version.
It’s important to recognize that this is an edited adult film, as without this knowledge you might be perplexed at how readily the characters get “snuggly” with each other, even in the most unlikely of circumstances (inside a burning barn, for example.) These scenes don’t get terribly graphic – I’ve seen much more explicit in any number of mainstream movies, although rarely in such frequency. Many of the scenes, in fact, are cut short before they’ve even properly begun. That said, this still isn’t a film to share with your 13 year old kids, as sexual context is there in abundance, as are brief images of writhing bodies, and more than a few naked breasts. Continue reading