Secret of Monkey Island – SOLVED (for realz this time.)

So just about a year ago, I boldly stated that I’d solved the secret of Monkey Island. In truth, all I did was finally get an ingame joke that had gone over my head all these years. But this time, I mean it. I think I’ve actually discovered something significantly game-changing about Monkey Island that I’ve never seen discussed elsewhere.

First, some backstory. Yes, the original game was called The Secret of Monkey Island, and yes, the game revealed that the ghost pirate LeChuck had been hiding out on Monkey Island, which could, clearly, be considered the island’s secret. But the series creator, Ron Gilbert, has claimed that there actually is another, greater secret—one meant to be revealed in the trilogy’s never-created final chapter.

“But Bilge,” you say, “you’ve gone daft. There’s no ‘never-created’ third chapter. After The Secret of Monkey Island and Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge, we had The Curse of Monkey Island, and then Escape from Monkey Island, and finally Tales of Monkey Island. And besides all that, in Escape the secret of Monkey Island was clearly revealed to be that the giant monkey head was actually part of a giant monkey robot.”

“You’ve done your homework,” says I. “And you’re correct on all counts, but you’re forgetting one important detail. Ron Gilbert wasn’t part of those further releases, meaning only the first two of the series are OG Monkey Island. Everything that followed was more of an extended alternate timeline, and doesn’t reflect Gilbert’s vision for the true trilogy—or its secret. In fact, he’s even said as much in interviews.”

“Good point,” says you.

So, what’s the true secret of Monkey Island? Some days I feared we might never know. I did have hope a few years back—albeit briefly—when Gilbert announced the release of a non-Monkey Island pirate game called Scurvy Scallywags. It’s a fun match-three type game that revolves around the quest for the Ultimate Sea Shanty. I’d thought that just maybe Gilbert had pulled a sneaky and made this the “secret” conclusion to his Monkey Island trilogy. But no such luck. I’ve played the game through, collected all the verses for the Ultimate Sea Shanty, and aside from one very over-powered feather duster, narry a single Monkey Island reference was to be found.

So, back to square one, with little-to-no hope of learning the secret. BUT… then I made a discovery that blew the lid off the whole affair—the final piece of the enigma that is Monkey Island. Yes, it’s big. Yes, it’s devious. And yes, Ron Gilbert has pulled a sneaky. Perhaps the greatest sneaky of all time. Continue reading

Monkey Island 2 Special Edition Launches TODAY

It’s a momentous day for us all. If you spent your piratey adolescence with Guybrush, LeChuck, Marty, Largo, and more monkeys than you can count, then today you’ll get to revisit your youth in re-rendered updated splendor. And if you’re new to Monkey Island, then this revamp of LeChuck’s Revenge is about the best introduction you could hope to come across – new music, new graphics, and yet scene-for-scene, line for line IDENTICAL to the low res pixelated original. Of course, you should probably play the first Monkey Island Special Edition before hitting this sequel, but know this – I’ve not yet played it, but already MI2:SE is the superior product for the following reasons:

  1. Bigger
  2. Longer
  3. LeChuck Zombie looks worlds better than LeChuck ghost did
  4. Guybrush’s hair is also much improved
  5. We finally get to hear Captain Dread speak in slick Jamaican
  6. We finally get to hear the tune for “I’d rather be a pirate on Scabb than a scab on a pirate…”

Don’t bother rushing to a store, because this game is only available online. But it’s available for just about everything: XBLA, PSN, Steam, iPhone and iPad.

Oh, you probably want a link, don’t you?

I wonder what happens in Tales of Monkey Island

Who says you need to watch something before making a preview/parody of it? Let me set the stage – these guys made an animation based on Tales of Monkey Island Episode 1: Launch of the Screaming Narwhal. THEN they played it. And then they made an animation of the next chapter, and THEN watched that chapter. And so on. Pretty genius if you ask me.

Chapter 1: Launch of the Screaming Narwhal

Read the rest of the article to see the other four videos…

Continue reading

Review: Launch of the Screaming Narwhal

Rating: ★★★½☆

talesofmi_guybrush_screenshotWe had given up hope, mostly. True, it remained close to our hearts, but rarely at the forefront of our minds. Some fansites remained, although others had shut down for lack of material or purpose. And those in the know? They told us time and again to give up – there would be no more Monkey Islands.

Monkey Island represents a strange yet significant event in pirate history. Those of us who love pirates more than average; most of us would point to the Pirates of the Caribbean rides as the most influential element in our piratey formative years. This is a common experience we share across a wide age range – from the old to the young. But there exists a sliver of us – the piratey Gen Xers – that also largely fell in love with another piece of piratey pop-culture long before the floodgates were opened by the Disney films, and that was the 1991 videogame The Secret of Monkey Island. In many ways cutting edge at the time, today’s audience would likely view it as only a little better than Donkey Kong. Continue reading

When it Rains (Monkeys) it Poors (Monkeys)

mi_seNot even a full day since learning of the pending Tales of Monkey Island, and already I also learn of The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition. That’s right – the original game in a scene-for-scene remake with better graphics. And if you’re leary of that, at any point you can revert to the original graphics with a mere press of a button. All sorts of fun details including artwork, videos, and other monkey stuff at Also check out the blog of Monkey Island’s original creator for lots of other Monkey Island gossip.

What, still not satisfied? Fine – check out the sweet new Monkey Island merchandise over at the Lucasarts Store.

I, for one, am utterly flabbergasted at how now – after most of us had accepted a Monkey Island-free future – we’re being treated to this deluge of monkey madness, to say nothing of how they managed to keep this all a secret until just before the release dates. It makes me what other surprises they have in store – a movie? a line of insult-driven cutlery? premixed grog?

Tales of Monkey Island (Wii and PC)

Proving once again that denial means nothing (it seems only last week I was reading that Lucas Arts had no intention of ever revisiting the Monkey Island franchise), Tales of Monkey Island is due for release in July!

I’m a lot excited, and a bit scared – the previous Monkey Island Game was the weakest of the lot, and by no small margin. And I don’t feel that 3D is the greatest medium for the series. And I have little faith that these latest ventures (yes, there will be five of them, being “eposodic installments”) will do much to rekindle Monkey Island’s roots. But all that said… MONKEY ISLAND!!!

You can read more at IGN, or visit the official site at

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod… !!!

El Último Blog al que Irías: Converse All Star: Mêlée Edition.

It’s Monkey Island custom shoes!


One shoe has Guybrush in a swordfight, the other portrays the night watchman of Melee Island. They don’t show what’s on the flip side of either, so I’m going to assume LeChuck in a tickle fight with Herman Toothrot on the left, and Elaine Marley in a seductive pose on the right.

So for your naysayers who thought Monkey Island was dead, EAT IT!

Review: On Stranger Tides

Rating: ★★★★☆
powers-strangertidesThis may well be the greatest pirate book I’ve ever read.

My discovery of On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers was a strange one. First published 20 years ago, it’s largely flown under the radar amongst the pirate crowds. I’d never heard its name uttered amongst fellow enthusiasts swapping their favorite reads, I’d never heard murmurs of it being made into a movie, never saw it pop up as an recommendation – it’s honestly a miracle I discovered it at all.

It was while reading an old interview with Ron Gilbert – creator of the first two Monkey Island games – that I first learned of this book. The Pirates of the Caribbean Ride has largely been attributed as the inspiration for these brilliant games, but in this interview Gilbert indicated that it was actually the book On Stranger Tides that spurred the creation of Monkey Island. Now, the PotC rides were indeed key to my early love of pirates, and the Monkey Island Games were themselves key during my teenage years. So to learn that there might be a third part of this equation – well, I certainly had to check it out. Continue reading