Treasure Island Reboot Planned

Treasure Island Reboot Planned.

I’m getting a little impatient regarding pirate movie rumors. For months there have been stories about a Captain Blood remake (in space) as well as a new Blackbeard movie. So far they both seem to be little more than gossip. And now, just today, the internet is suddenly flooded with stories about a newer, hipper version of Treasure Island in the works. Here’s another story:

Treasure Island will Make Long John Silver Sexy

Some of the pirate movie rumors out there are scary (“hipper” Treasure Island, for example), but ultimately a good movie is a good movie, and a bad one is bad. So whether the pirates are in the Caribbean, in space, or in the dance club, I’m more than happy to give it a chance. But for cryin’ out loud, someone has to actually *make* one of these movies, rather than just talk about it.

At least PotC4 is pretty much a sure thing. Let’s just hope it doesn’t involve Jack Sparrow going into space 😛

Little Big Planet Pirates

I won’t pretend for a moment that I actually understand what the hell “Little Big Planet” is, but they have a Pirates of the Caribbean expansion coming out, and I have to admit it looks pretty slick. Cute, ragdoll versions of the characters we know making weird faces and having bizarre adventures and getting killed in a thousand non-fatal ways. Check out the trailer for yourself:

Some Clarification on the Powers/Disney Connection

Surprised author Tim Powers finds himself setting sail with ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ [Updated] | Hero Complex | Los Angeles Times.

So this article confirms that to one extent or other, PotC4 does look to be based on the Tim Powers book On Stranger Tides. Powers’ attitude? Much more realistic and healthy than my own, as I still cringe to see a single on of Powers’ characters usurped by Barbossa or Sparrow. But as some readers pointed out, you can’t judge a movie until you see the movie, which is true. 

I still find Disney’s need to harvest pre-existing texts as a bad sign – it could well mean they’re looking for a short-cut fix to not having any story ideas of their own. OR, maybe they’ll spin gold out of it – I’ve certainly been wrong before.

It’s Official: Disney is Creatively Bankrupt

Locus Online News: Powers Novel Optioned for New Pirates of the Carribean Movie.

Yup, so it now seems that PotC4 “On Stranger Tides” is indeed going to be based on the Tim Powers novel, and not simply sharing the title. Which I think entirely sucks – On Stranger Tides is a very specific story utilizing a very specific set of characters, none of whom strike me as a shoe-in to be replaced by Jack Sparrow. Plus, if Disney has to start the planning phase of this fourth film by bastardizing a prexisting work, I just don’t see how it indicates they have the creative fortitude to do make for a decent end product.

Of course, all this might change anyways since Johnny Depp is hinting that he might not be up for a fourth film anyways, so maybe it’s a moot point.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Not Cool

That’s right – my suggestion for the title of the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film is Pirates of the Caribbean: Not Cool. Why? Because the rumormill all over the internet is saying that the title has been released as Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which just happens to be the title of an incredibly awesome pirate book that’s been around for twenty years or so and has absolutely nothing to do with Disney. The way I see it, there are three ways this happens, and they all suck:

  1. Disney “didn’t know” the book On Stranger Tides existed, which is BS because Disney surely has entire departments that research this sort of thing.
  2. Disney stole the title idea, which, as stated, sucks.
  3. Disney felt inspired by the book and the use of the title reflects some sort of arrangement between Disney and Tim Powers, the author of the book, which indicates that Disney has no original pirate ideas of its own and therefore has no business making a fourth film. Plus, it makes it trickier for the real On Stranger Tides to ever be a movie someday.

So yeah, if this rumor proves true then Disney is utterly failing to impress.

Ummm…

Should Disney Hire Rob Zombie for Pirates of the Caribbean 4? | WorstPreviews.com.

I admit that I’ve never seen a single film directed by Rob Zombie. I know a little of his music, and I’ve seen some of the previews of his films, and nothing about him seems to say “Disney” to me, which is exactly what makes this idea rather intriguing. Not necessarily good, mind you, but certainly something to chew over.

Not that I think it has an ounce of merit, mind you. If Zombie directs a Disney pirate film I’ll eat me hat. Or at least take a bite of it.

Davy Jones Hat Looks Pretty Sweet

Generally, if a pirate clothing vendor wants their swag mentioned on this site they’ve got to send me a sample for review. But Captain Jack’s Pirate Hats’ new Davy Jones Hat takes over 70 hours to make apiece, so I think we’ll give them a pass. From the pictures it looks to be quite the thing – barnacles, clams, seaweed, and I think their might even be some needles and plastic rings from soda cans tucked in the back (it’s a modern Davy Jones.)

davyjoneshat

You can check it all out for yourself at www.captjackspiratehats.com. The hats won’t be sold there, though. Due to the limited production, Jack only plans to make them available through ebay, so get ready to bid!

No Gore for Pirates 4 (hey, that rhymes!)

Gore Verbinski says ‘no’ to ‘Pirates 4’ on Hitfix.

Unlike most PotC rumors, this one actually seems to be confirmed – Gore Verbinski will NOT be directing the next pirates flick. I don’t know what to make of that, since the impact of this news obviously rests on the question of who WILL be directing. Early rumors indicated Tim Burton, which makes me cringe, but that was a while ago and probably not worth banking on.