Review – Treachery and a Dead Man’s Promise

Rating: ★★★☆☆

In the history of pirates on the silver screen, only a handful of films have managed to capture piracy in such a manner as to transcend fact, transcend history, and cut straight to the heart of the matter. I speak of course of rum-sodden stupor. In this way, Treachery and a Dead Man’s Promise surpasses all other pirate movies as it rolls beneath the tavern bench, belching gunpowder and occasionally waking up just long enough to start a bar fight before passing out in the alley – PIRATE STYLE.

Let’s be clear, this is a fan film. 20 odd minutes of dubious acting filmed on location at renfaire, the beach, and the woods with questionable dialogue featuring pirate accents of varying skill and consistency. And ninjas, lots and lots of time-traveling ninjas. Oh, and a sea hag who I think gave the ninja sea herpes or something like that. SPOILER ALERT – that last sentence contained a spoiler. Continue reading

Pirates vs Ninjas vs Zombies vs… Pandas. Yeah, Pandas.

Pirates, Ninjas, and Zombies are three of the archetypes of modern society, with the other two being Robots and Chuck Norris. So why on earth we now have a game of Pirates vs. Ninjas vs. Zombies (so far so good) vs. Pandas is beyond me. But there it is, and here’s a demo of the gameplay:

I don’t have a smart phone, so I guess I’m out of luck. I buy my phones for their milspec rating – mine is clear for vibration, dust, and impact. No dice on the moisture, though, which rather sucks for a pirate. But I couldn’t afford the phone you submerge. Plus, it was about the size of a submarine and looked ridiculous in my pocket on my belt. Click “read more” to see an additional video illustrating how this four-way war got started. Apparently, it was all the pirates’ fault. Figures. Continue reading

Captain Dan LIVE

If you’ve ever wanted to see Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew perform live (and who hasn’t?), then you really should have gone to Nerdapalooza this year. Of course, that piece of news is of no use to those of us who can’t travel backwards in time, which is why God invented Youtube:

(caution: they use the ‘F’ word rather a lot)

And as an added bonus, Captain Dan and some cowardly ninjas talk smack about each other. As before, there’s a naughty word or two: Continue reading

San Antonio – Current Ground Zero for PvN

Review: ‘Pirates Versus Ninjas: The Musical’

It has song, it has dance, it has pirates, and it has a Ninja King. I find it cute that Ninjas would bother having royalty amongst themselves. I mean, so what if you’re king of the pajama-wearing shadow puppets? You’re still a pajama-wearing shadow puppet, just like all the other pajama-wearing shadow puppets.

Ninja vs. Pirate Mobile is heavily biased

Etsy :: SaltyandSweet :: Ninja Vs Pirate.


Shennanigans! I cry shennanigans! The Ninja vs. Pirate mobile might at first appear a good-natured effort to balance out the PvN debate, or perhaps to hang over your child’s crib to teach them tolerance for both parties. But let’s consider – all the figures, pirate and ninja alike, are in stealthy black shadow form. And… AND… it clearly has no music box like a proper mobile should, so where are the boisterous sea songs? If the mobile is entirely silent, entirely black, and is designed to sway gently in the breeze like a leaf on the wind, then tell me it’s not biased towards ninjas and therefore intended to corrupt young minds???

Don’t bother trying to buy one – I already bought them all. To douse them in rum and set them aflame. Pirates strike back, yo ho ho.

Review: Pirates vs. Ninjas

Rating: ★★★★☆

It seems that it’s been a thousand years since pirates and ninjas first took to bickering, so it was only a matter of time before someone decided to make a comic book out of it. But don’t expect any solid answers regarding which side is superior from Pirates vs. Ninjas – much like the Freddy vs. Jason film, to draw such a conclusion would not only end the series, but certainly alienate half the audience (assuming ninjas made up anything close to half the audience, which naturally they don’t but we’ll be diplomatic.) Continue reading

Bilgemunky sad…

Originally I was a little grumbly that I didn’t have an X Box 360. But now I’m just all out downtrodden at not owning a Wii. Why? Because, mates, Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball is now slated to come out on both of these systems. It looks hilarious, adorable, and awesome. On the X Box it will surely be a blast, but on the Wii? I can’t imagine a game more perfect for such a system. But here I am stuck with naught but a PC. No dodgeball for me, unless I find a real ninja. And a red rubber ball.