Ummm… Cool, I guess?

Cobra: The Space Pirate is coming to the big screen. Excited? Me neither. Nothing against it, but the only Cobras I know either battle mongooses or duke it out with GI Joe. Cobra the Space Pirate? New to me.

So Alexandre Aja, the force behind Piranha 3D, is planning on tackling this project. Apparently he’s a huge fan of Cobra, and has been for many years. Apparently lots of people are.

Alexandre Aja Tackling Space Pirates In Cobra

So maybe this is great news. Maybe in a couple of years we’ll all be like, Cobra this and Cobra that. If so, then you heard it here first and has once again proved that it’s a viable news source (despite what Google may think.)

Oh Carp, They’re On To Us…

Milky Way ‘tastes of raspberries and smells of rum’ |

That’s right, scientists – SPACE scientists – are now running around telling everyone that the center of the galaxy smells like rum. Which means they’re getting very close to learning why it smells like rum, and that’s a secret we pirates just can’t afford to have get out. Not just yet, anyways.

Remember what they say about “the best laid plans,” mates. Secrecy at this point is critical, so keep yer yaps shut and stick to your orders. And if you see a space scientist knock them unconscious and send them my way. Do not – I repeat, DO NOT harm them as they may yet prove useful.