Review: Blackbeard Spiced Rum

Rating: ★★★½☆
Speaking strictly from the perspectives of myth and legend, Blackbeard just might be history’s perfect pirate. He was big, mean, dramatic… he fought like a demon and died like a folk (anti)hero. And what’s more, the man mixed gunpowder in his rum. I mean, seriously – this is the sort of thing that Hollywood makes up and then historians nerdily remind us that, “you know, pirates didn’t actually do this, or do that…” But Blackbeard did. He was the real deal, and this is why now and forever, there should always be a rum or two bearing his name.

Blackbeard Spiced Rum has risen to the challenge of bearing Teach’s title, but does it live up? In the bottle, its classy and striking, with a black lable and stylized artwork of the man himself. The rum inside is a basic brownish amber, and upon opening you’re instantly greeted with a surprisingly robust vanilla aroma. Continue reading

Now For Something Awesome…

So we started the day with some very lame news about Pirates of the Caribbean’s Armada of the Damned. Let’s now move on to something pretty sweet – a Captain Morgan commercial (say wuuut?!?)

Contrary to popular belief, I actually have some respect Captain Morgan Rum. They seem comfy in their own skin as a decent spiced mixer rum – the choice of frat boys everywhere. Unlike some other “rail” rums (*choke* Bacardi), I’ve never seen them attempt any pretense of being top shelf. Plus, they have a pirate on the label, so that’s a plus.

Well, whether you love or hate the Morgan, you gotta love this commercial. I don’t have cable, so rum TV commercials often miss me – thank goodness I have loyal listeners to bring such awesomeness as this to my attention:

Review: Blackheart Rum

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Blackheart Premium Spiced Rum is the sort of rum that pirate enthusiasts will home in on like gangbusters. From its name to its logo featuring a tattered heart&crossed swords, and then of course to the fetching pirate cutey in her hat, stripey shirt and bucket boots, coily giving either a, “come hither” or “I’m about to stab you” look (it’s tough to tell sometimes), this is packaging that’s bound to turn a head or two. And the price isn’t bad either.

The rum itself is a nice basic amber – not too light so as to look wussy, and not so dark as to scare off the wusses. To the nose Blackheart carries the usual suspect amongst spiced rums – vanilla. But from there it continues on in a sweet direction, not so much spicey as full of toffee perhaps a hint of chocolate. There’s only a slight note of an alcohol burn – only truly apparent if you inhale too sharply (at which point it does indeed burn.) Continue reading

Review: Jolly Roger, Redrum, and VooDoo Spiced

Rating: ★★½☆☆
I’ve long been at odds with myself as to which rums I should review, and which ones I shouldn’t. It used to be that I only reviewed rums that I considered to be “sippers,” being as flavored mixing rums are too difficult to seperate from the quality of the mixed drink itself (seriously, even a simple rum&coke is far more forgiving of a rot rum than would be that rot rum by itself.) But here and there I’d find a rum that wasn’t really a sipper, but still warranted comment of some kind. And then a lovely package from Three-D Spirits arrives at my doorstep containing not one but three mixer rums. I mean, they made the effort to send it, the least I can do is offer comment, aye? Continue reading

More Rum Goodie Packs (reviews forthcoming!)

Yes, it’s true. The spiced rums are clamoring for my attention. And who can blame them? I’m quite a catch, afterall. Stand by for reviews very soon for the Three-D Rums collection, featuring Voodoo Spiced as well as Redrum and Jolly Roger Lime Coconut. Actually, I’ve never reviewed three rums at once before, and I’m a little afraid of this one. No, not because I can’t handle three rums – but rather, the bottles are all shaped like coffins. And I don’t know if the marketing department knew this, but Redrum spelled backwards is murdeR (shiver.) Continue reading

Review: The Lash Spiced Rum

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Made from four year aged rum, steeped with genuine spices, and named for the famous quote regarding “Rum, sodomy, and The Lash.” If you’re a typical reader, then you’re already intrigued. Now how about I tell you that The Lash literally discourages mixing their spiced rum with anything save ice or nada – got your attention yet?

The Lash is a class act from the bottle onward. Short and squat with a synthec cork, this rum takes a far more old-world asthetic to its packaging. The cat-o-nine tails logo is present enough to lend the sense of high seas drama, but not so blatant as to make you feel like you should be wearing bondage gear to purchase the stuff. And the rich, deep amber color of the rum inside is not only warmly inviting, but gently swirls with a small amount of sediment left over from the spices. Continue reading

Review: Kraken Black Spiced Rum

Rating: ★★★★½

By and large I don’t give spiced rum much consideration these days. Sure, rum&cokes are fine things now and then, and the rare exception of Kilo Kai managed to tap into spiced rum’s more impressive potential, but mostly I prefer my rum untarnished (‘neat’, as landlubbers call it.) I do owe Captain Morgan’s Private Stock a debt of gratitude, as it ushered my early days of rum consumption, being rather more approachable than others available to me. But over time I found myself outgrowing Private Stock as its cheap alcohol undertones became more noticeable beneath a seeming increasingly thin veil of spiciness.

So yeah, the world of spiced rum largely remained outside of my field of vision – but then along came the Kraken (‘Along Came the Kraken,’ incidentally, sounds like the title of a smashing children’s book or romantic comedy, but I digress.) First off, you can’t mention Kraken Rum without mentioning their ad compaign – one minute spent at their website will tell you that this is a rum company that not only has great pride in their product, but a smashing sense of humor to boot. Whatever Kraken pays their ad guys, it’s not enough. But fun videos and goofy humor aside, ultimately the proof is always in the pudding, and I’ve been hurt before. So let’s examine the rum on its own terms…

Continue reading

Review: Kilo Kai

Rating: ★★★★☆

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

And I quote:

“We love great rum and that’s why we made Kilo. It’s uncompromising. Take a sip of Kilo straight. Do the same with any other spiced rum. Enough said.”

Thus reads the back label of Kilo Kai, and thus is the reason I had profound respect for this rum before I even opened the bottle.While the two primary spiced rum contenders are duking out who has the highest proof, Kilo seems focused on making the better product – and they’re doing so with an “in your face” attitude that any pirate can respect. The bottle is tall and dark, the logo forms a rather intimidating skull that any rum would be proud to bear, and the back label – well, any rum that challenges its drinkers in such a way is off to a fantastic start in my book. Continue reading

Review: Sailor Jerry Rum

Rating: ★★½☆☆
Sailor Jerry Rum

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

I’ve not stumbled across too many “premium” spiced rums (i.e. those that can be enjoyed alone.) In fact, Captain Morgan’s Private Stock is the only one that comes to mind. Still, Sailor Jerry caught my eye, and I remember reading somewhere that it worthy of being consumed straight, so I gave it a shot.

Like Morgan’s Private Stock, the smell is very spicy, but Sailor Jerry doesn’t smell as “rummy” as Morgans – less alcoholly too. I found the taste followed suit, being very spicy, but very “middle ground” – no rum, but no alcohol in the flavor either. Continue reading

Review: Captain Morgan’s Private Stock

Rating: ★★½☆☆
Captain Morgan’s Private Stock

Click to buy!
from Internet Wines and Spirits

Way back when I decided it was time to move up from Rum&Cokes, this was the rum I started with. Higher quality than standard Captain Morgan, it was very drinkable. The spiciness was appealing and exotic, and it nicely toned down the shock that would normally accompany drinking rum straight for the first time, thus making for a very smooth introduction. Continue reading