The Kinder, Gentler, Christian Captain Hook

For those of you haters who’ve been writing to your newspapers saying that all historically-inclined pirate festivals should be canceled because a few Somalians can’t behave themselves, get bent check this out – pirates teaching Christian values. Now don’t you feel sheepish? Of course, they’re entirely lame, don’t look or sound remotely piratey, but at least they’re making the effort. Or made the effort, rather – this was back in the seventies. I like to think that one of those smiling children grew up to be a right despicable scallywag, and is swilling rum and gutting Spaniards as we speak (in a very “love-thy-neighbor” way, of course.)

Captain Sabertooth (I am afraid)

The Ben Gunn Society brought this video to my attention and has been on my case for not yet posting it. And rightfully so – it’s disturbingly strange. His name is Captain Sabertooth – he’s a Norwegian children’s entertainer, pirate, and (I’m fairly certain) a former inmate at the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.  After you view the video, be sure to explore his website,